Don’t worry, Adam Sandler’s wife, if my husband wore the feet demons known as UGGs with a pair of bright blue basketball shorts out to brunch, I too would be walking with my head down in an “I’m not with him” way.
Adam Sandler released his latest maybe-future Razzie winner, The Ridiculous 6, to the world yesterday, and you would think that would be the most shameful thing Adam Sandler would do this week, but no. That honor goes to getting papped wearing a pair of brown shorty UGGs on a brunch date with his wife Jackie on Thursday. I know Adam Sandler is fully committed to looking like a hungover frat boy on laundry day, but UGGs? And in 2015? Adam NO!
Literally the ONLY thing that is absolving him of such a sin against eyes is that you can totally see the outline of his junk in those hideous basketball shorts. And yes, I feel super gross about staring at Billy Madison’s crotch area for as long as I did. Pray 4 my choices.
In news that is the direct opposite of “surprising,” Rose McGowan’s agency shredded her number and kicked her ass out of the exit door for calling out Hollywood’s sexist ways and professional shit maker Adam Sandler in a tweet. Last week, Rose tweeted a casting note for a movie starring an actor whose name rhymes with “Madam Panhandler” and the note asked for auditioning actresses to wear a dark, tight tank top that showed off their tits. The note also said that push-up bras were a plus. I know, the note really shocked us all, because I’m sure we all thought that actresses auditioning for an Adam Sandler movie were only asked to provide a diploma from Juilliard and to prepare three dramatic Shakespearean monologues.
Last night, Rose tweeted that dropping a fart on that casting note got her fired from her agency:
— rose mcgowan (@rosemcgowan) June 25, 2015
But according to Rose, she doesn’t need an agent anymore. In a batshit crazy interview with Defamer that was posted yesterday, she said that she’s done with acting and nobody represents her right now
“A lot of agents aren’t supportive of their talent in any way. Nobody’s understood how to represent me, which is why, other than film publicists, I currently have no representation other than my lawyer. I don’t need it.”
This whole thing is a little confusing. Rose tweeted that she got tossed onto the yellow inflatable exit slide (Never 4Get Steven Slater) last night (June 24). Defamer’s interview with Rose happened before June 24. The Wrap says that Rose was officially let go from her agency, Innovative Artists, on June 24, two days after her agent Sheila Wenzel left the agency. So either dates got mixed up or Rose learned psychic skills while being in that cult. I don’t know, but I do know that we’re probably never ever going to get a long-awaited (by me, and only me, probably) sequel to Jawbreaker, but yet Madam Panhandler still gets paid millions of dollars to squeeze out shit show after shit show. I blame my mom, really, because she once told me that her favorite movie of 2011 was Jack and Jill. Whenever she looks at me sideways for having another drink at dinner, I always say to her, “You told me you loved Jack and Jill. You drove me right to the bottle!“
Last week, stripper elegance hall of famer Rose McGowan threw some not-so-subtle shank eye at Hollywood and an unnamed A-list comedian when she Tweeted a picture of a casting note she was sent. No, it wasn’t a note from some smartass casting director who thought she’d be perfect for an upcoming Michael Jackson biopic. It was this one, asking her to dress like a slutty ninja for an audition with Adam Sandler. Oops, sorry – I mean some random actor whose name rhymes with “Madam Panhandler“.
casting note that came w/script I got today. For real. name of male star rhymes with Madam Panhandler hahahaha I die pic.twitter.com/lCWGTV537t
— rose mcgowan (@rosemcgowan) June 18, 2015
That’s sort of rich coming from the guy who showed up to the photocall for Hotel Transylvania 2 looking like the person version of taking an afternoon nap on the couch. Understand the context, dude – it’s a photocall, not a trip to 7-Eleven to pick up two taquitos and a Bud Light Mixxtail. Sidenote: you know you’re underdressed when Paul Blart Mall Cop put more effort into his outfit than you did.
Obviously, that casting note is gross-adjacent (“Push up bras encouraged” – like, just cut the bullshit and say “Show up with your tits out thanks“), but is Rose McGowan really that surprised? I mean, she knew it was a movie starring Adam Sandler, right? That’s pretty much one of the last names you’d associate with good taste. Not to mention that we don’t know if that casting note was sent to everyone, including David Spade and Rob Schneider. Until I see a picture of Rob Schneider in a pair of leggings and a push-up bra, I choose to reserve all judgement.
The Ghost of Iggy Azalea Future Vanilla Ice, seen above dressed as Mark Twain’s AXE-spritzing Monster-chugging pimped-out stage coach-driving dirtbag brother Gary ‘Greazy G’ Twain (at least that’s I’m assuming) in Adam Sandler’s upcoming film The Ridiculous 6, wants you to know that it’s not nearly as offensive to Native Americans as those Native American actors who walked off set last week claim it is.
Vanilla Ice defended The Ridiculous 6 to TMZ yesterday, saying that it’s “a comedy” and that it’s not “Dancing with Wolves.” I don’t know what “Dancing with Wolves” is, but it sounds like a Seltzer-Friedberg parody of Dances with Wolves starring Taylor Lautner and the cast of Dancing With The Stars, so I’m in. Vanilla says he wasn’t on set the day the Native American actors quit, but if he wants to see what it looked like, there’s now a video of the R6 producers telling the actors to leave if they’re offended by the script.
He then went on to say they’re just making a funny movie before adding that he’s “part Choctaw” and he sees both sides of the issue. Today I learned: Vanilla Ice is totally that girl you know who dresses up as a slutty Indian every Halloween because she’s 1/98th “Chickasaw…Chik-fil-a…chickasomething“, so it’s totally cool.
Vanilla Ice was the wrong person to ask about this shit, because that picture above is probably the most offensive thing I’ve seen about The Ridiculous 6. How dare a dude in lazy Mark Twain drag throwing white guy gang signs take up valuable space from true A-list talent like David Spade and Rob Schneider. Until you make a movie as good as Joe Dirt or The Hot Chick, aka two of the greatest films ever made, your ass stands in the back row. Second-from-the-left is a spot you earn, Vanilla!
I know that saying an Adam Sandler movie is “too tasteless” is like saying Taco Bell chalupas are “too delicious“, or Patrick Swayze in Road House is “too sexy” (aka totally redundant), but it might actually be too too tasteless. Indian Country Today (via E!) says that several Native American actors working on Adam Sandler’s upcoming western comedy The Ridiculous 6 found the movie to be offensive to the Native community, so they walked off set on Wednesday. The movie, which was supposed to be released during Spring Break of 2014 and now will be released sometime in the future on Netflix, is about an orphan (Adam Sandler) who grew up among an Indian tribe, and you’d think watching Sandler do his hoobiddy-doo face in Party City Tonto drag would be the most cringe-worthy part of filming, but according to actor Loren Anthony, it’s not.
I can’t decide if John Stamos’ belly button looks like a mushroom-headed dick poking out of his stomach or a skin-colored clown nose or the button nose of a bearded old man with no eyes? Well, whatever it looks like, I’d still lube it up with Dannon Oikos yogurt and hit it.
On Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night, he presented the 8th edition of the segment where famous types read mean tweets written by either Jimmy Kimmel’s writing team or actual Twatterers. This one gave us Lela Durham (copyright: Valerie Cherish) and her dog tits, John Stamos’ bubble belly button, Lisa Kudrow (who gets an A+++ in reacting), crack head Jon Hamm, raper-faced Scott Foley, Bob Newhart, Ted Danson and his majestic silver cliff of hair and Brit Brit who wore a turkey oven bag and looked like she laughed to keep from melting into a puddle of tears and Frapps. Most of these are good, but out of the billions of mean tweets about Goopy Paltrow, that’s the one they chose?!
Big Bird should’ve read that first one, because nothing is meaner than being compared to Goopy.