I have a shameful admission to make: I watched my first full episode of Friends only about a year ago (and it’s not because we didn’t have Friends in Canada or anything weird like that). I watched all 236 episodes in succession, and there were several things that stood out. Namely, Jennifer Aniston’s nipples.
Vogue recently spoke to Jennifer Aniston about her upcoming TV show with Reese Witherspoon, which led them to talking about her first big TV role. And that segued into Jen’s status as the accidental godmother of the #FreeTheNipple movement.
Self-proclaimed feminist and the hottie from OITNB who isn’t named Ruby Rose, Matt McGorry, recently joined topless crusaders Chelsea Handler, Chrissy Teigen, and Miley Cyrus in the fight against nipple censorship by posting a picture of himself with a pair of lady nipples Photoshopped over his own. On the left, we have one of Miley’s always-exposed hillbilly nipples, and on the right is Chrissy’s downward-facing nip from her recent W Magazine spread. Matt threw up the picture above to Facebook with an explanation about why he decided to become an ally to the Free The Nipple movement. Warning: it’s very long, and does not include any additional topless pictures of Matt McGorry. I know, it’s a real bummer.
In 2004, Keira Knightley became the anti-Mimi when she publicly spit on the flat chest haters who made the decision to use the silicone Photoshop tool to plump up her small titty situation on the poster for King Arthur. KK complained that if they insisted on inflating her chichis, they could’ve at least made them perky and not droopy. Well, ten years later and KK is still protesting and this time she’s enlisted her nipples to join the fight.
Photographer Patrick Demarchelier shot KK for (link semi-NSFW) Interview Magazine and I guess she was asked if she’d be into doing any topless shots. KK agreed to show her nips as long as Interview promised not to pass the pictures through the Photoshop machine. KK tells The London Times (via Time) that she’s sick of getting Photoshopped and wants to let everyone know that there’s nothing wrong with sunny side up egg chichis.
“I’ve had my body manipulated so many different times for so many different reasons, whether it’s paparazzi photographers or for film posters. That [shoot] was one of the ones where I said: ‘OK, I’m fine doing the topless shot so long as you don’t make them any bigger or retouch.’ Because it does feel important to say it really doesn’t matter what shape you are.
I think women’s bodies are a battleground and photography is partly to blame. Our society is so photographic now, it becomes more difficult to see all of those different varieties of shape.”
That’s your cue to put in your earplugs unless you really want to hear Mimi, the Kartrashians, Beyonce, Madge and the other disciples of the Adobe philosophy scream, “SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, BITCH,” at once.
Never mind that KK protested against Photoshop by posing for a picture that was eventually Photoshopped, she might be on to something. Celebrities who are sick of getting Photoshopped (insert *crickets* sound here) should fight the fight against Photoshop by getting half naked. Lady celebs should bring their titties out and dude celebs can show their support by bringing their peens out. Peens Against Photoshop can be the new Ice Bucket Challenge. Fuck Photoshop! Bring on the peens!
And since some workplaces are strange and are against lady nipples on monitors, KK’s uncensored pic is here.