Laura Benanti, Cecily Strong, whoever Melania Trump’s double is and every other actress who has contorted her face into the “constipated while sucking on a lemon” position to play the First Lady can go ahead and hang up her pussy bow blouse and hurricane heels, because Courtney Stodden has got this.
I Can’t Wait To Hear About The Stupid Method Shit That Jared Leto Is Going To Do While Playing Hugh Hefner
It hasn’t even been a week since Hugh Hefner’s corpse moved next door to Marilyn Monroe’s corpse (in possibly related news, Marilyn Monroe’s corpse requested a crypt change), but Hollywood is already making moves to bring his biopic to the big screen. Brett Ratner (who directed the Rush Hour movies and who jacked his shrimp dick to Olivia Munn while eating actual shrimp) has been trying to get a Hugh Hefner biopic made for almost ten years. It’s now one step closer to happening, because the only actor who has truly ever acted Jared Leto has signed on to slip into some silk pajamas to play Hugh Hefner. This is great news for ophthalmologists, because they’re going to get a ton of new business from people who break their eye muscles from rolling them so hard while listening to how method Jared got to play Hef.
Leonardo DiCaprio already has one Oscar that he lovingly kisses on the forehead each night before he retires to a pile of 23-year-old models. But it looks like he wants to add a second one to his shelf (ah, the ultimate threesome: Leo and two Oscars). Deadline reports that Leo will be working on a biopic about former US President, face on Mount Rushmore, and bushy mustache wilderness guy Theodore Roosevelt. Finally, an excuse for Leo to stay pudgy and scruffy after yacht season!
Jim Carrey is either losing his shit, has lost his shit, is on some whole other shit, or has got this shit figured out. Jim was interviewed on some New York Fashion Week red carpet by E! News and made things meta for microphone-pusher Catt Sadler by questioning her existence and his.
Jared Leto is back to playing the character the was born to play; self-serious method actor/singer/Zoolander reject Jared Leto!
In preparation for his upcoming role in the Blade Runner sequel, Blade Runner 2049, Jared went all-in on playing an evil, blind robutt maker by blinding himself for the duration of the shoot. According to a recent interview with the film’s director Denis Villeneuve, didn’t nobody ask him to do all that.
Selena Gomez Needs To Keep This Bootleg Farrah Fawcett Wig Because She Has Never Looked As Glamorous
It’s as if Jessica Alba and Theodore Seville made a baby with stage 2 Kylie Jenner lips who went on to become the forest’s #1 Farrah Fawcett impersonator and that is the greatest compliment you can give anyone.
Selena Gomez released the video for the song that I actually like, Bad Liar (we all know I have shit taste), and it’s a riveting elementary school production of an unauthorized Wonder Years episode with plot twists, bad wigs and the greatest performance from a child since North West acted like she knew who Kanye West was on an episode of Keeping Up the Kartrashians. Selena proves that she’s Nick Jr.’s answer to Meryl Streep, because she can play any role. A fetus-aged Winnie Cooper? Selena can do it! A sleazy principal in a pornstache (who looks more like a 4-year-old boy in costume as a lazy Ned Flanders)? Selena can do it! A gym teacher in an off-brand Laurie Forman from That ’70s Show wig? Selena can do it! A scorned mom in plastic tarantula eyelashes? Selena can do it! Selena can do it all!