Category: Accidents Will Happen

A Post-Accident Photo Reveals That Carrie Underwood Is Not A Disfigured Monster

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Yesterday we learned that Carrie Underwood (seen above at the CMA Awards a couple of months ago) fucked her face up real good when she took a fall at home back in November. It’s a nightmare scenario for anybody and it was all the more disturbing when Carrie announced that while she is healing, her face doesn’t “quite look the same”.

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Carrie Underwood’s Tumble Turned Out To Be More Terrible Than Thought

January 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Back in November, shortly after drawing a lot of hillbilly heat for making Trump jokes while co-hosting the CMA’s, Carrie Underwood reportedly fell down some stairs at her house. The fall was so bad she broke her wrist and had to have surgery. She was also treated for “cuts and abrasions”. Here’s what she had to say about it at the time.

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Venus Williams Will Not Face Criminal Charges For That Fatal Car Crash

December 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Venus Williams can breath a sigh of relief. She is in the clear, in the eyes of the law, after she was declared innocent of any wrongdoing pertaining to the fatal car accident she was involved in this past summer. Venus has been worrying about spending her end of days in the pokey while we’re all out free  and worrying about our end of times as we make pilgrimages to ancient sites, praying to every Pagen, Neolithic, Hotep, Wiccan, Hittite, Brahman, Chickasaw and Mayan god we can think of to save our sorry asses. That was dark, my apologies.

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Aaron Carter Crashes His Car, High Drama Ensues

September 6, 2017 / Posted by:

People say we’re in a golden age of television. But there are few narratives out there on the airwaves today that can reach the heights of drama that can be found on Aaron Carter’s Twitter timeline. Yesterday’s installment of The Aaron Carter Show was particularly riveting: there was intrigue, blood, broken glass, and a cry for help. It’s not HBO, It’s Aaron Carter’s social media.

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