In about 10 years when Jennifer Lopez is damn near 60 years old (because it’s closer than you think), I believe it will be time for her to release her memoir entitled Man Trap: My Life In Pictures. Unfortunately for us this memoir will only consist of photos that feature JLo putting up her middle finger in front of pictures of all her exes. And then, the very last page will be a drawing of a heart with the words A-Rod 4EVER inside of it. Because according to JLo, Alex Rodriguez is the best man she’s ever known
No, unfortunately it was not that kind of joint party. Power couple Alex Rodriguez and Jennifer Lopez celebrated their birthdays jointly by throwing a over-the-top party.
TMZ has riveting footage of it.
Ah, new romance. Is there anything better? Romantic dinners. Strolls for the paps. Hiring a professional to track your boyfriend’s every move. Wait, what do you mean you’ve never gotten so suspicious that you’ve paid money to a stranger with a private investigator’s license? You’ve clearly never been as in love as Jennifer Lopez.
Last month, JLo’s relationship with A-Rod was shook to the foundation (the foundation being cement mixed with photocopies of their pap agency agreements) when The National Enquirer claimed on the front cover that A-Rod was cheating on JLo with a fitness model. A source tells UsWeekly that JLo responded to the cheating rumors by hiring a private investigator to get to the bottom of it. The source says she hired a PI because she’s “really into” him, and because she’s “trying to control as much as she can.” Unfortunately, the JLo’s cover was blown and A-Rod wasn’t happy.
“He found out and they had a huge fight,” the insider tells Us. “But they’re working through it.”
How did he find out he was being investigated? I would assume JLo would hire the most discrete of private eyes. But maybe she was so desperate to find out if A-Rod really was two-timing her, she picked the first PI she found in the phone book, and ended up with a dude whose idea of investigating was to catch A-Rod red-handed by hiding behind a trash can outside of A-Rod’s house. “Psst. Yeah, you. You cheated today? Where you going? To your other girlfriend’s house? Help me out here.”
At least she’ll know for next time to hire the best in the biz. If you really want to catch a cheater, you call up Joey Greco!
Around this time last year, the completely natural and real couple of Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston spread their organic love throughout Europe while keeping the paps working overtime. This year, it was the completely natural and real couple of JLo and A-Rod’s turn to graciously help out the paparazzi industry by leading them through France.
J-Rod started off their trip to France on a yacht in Nice (because what’s the point of doing a photo-op couples tour if you’re not going to give the paps at least one swimsuit shot) and they ended in Paris where they decided to really spice up a photo-op by bringing in props!
J-Rod’s couples photo-op choreographer gave them matching ice cream cone props J-Rod spontaneously bought ice cream cones and worked it for the paps while looking so in love. That picture above clearly shows who’s the pro and who’s the amateur. JLo is striking a perfect JCPenney catalog pose for the paps and knows not to completely eat the prop, while amateur ass A-Rod is eating the prop!
Every pro pap poser knows that you’re not supposed to completely devour the ice cream prop. A half-eaten ice cream cone looks ugly in pictures! You’re supposed to sensually lick it like it’s your lover’s down-low part. But in A-Rod’s defense, JLo eventually went in on her ice cream cone too (see: first picture in the gallery below). If the old rumor about steroid use is actually true, then JLo probably just wanted a mouthful of something for a change.
We all know A-Rod loves cheating, so it was really only a matter of time before someone started whispering that he might be working his sneaky cheater game on JLo. According to The National Enquirer (via Page Six), A-Rod might not be as committed to JLo as we have been led to believe.
Last month, a rumor started – by whom I have no idea (cough her publicist cough) – that Jennifer Lopez and A-Rod were “talking” about get married after a few months of dating. Then almost six whole weeks went by without a peep about their possible future wedding plans. The good news is we have an update. A source tells E! News that J-Rod’s marriage talks have been upgraded from “casual” to “serious.”
“JLo and A-Rod are getting very serious and talking marriage. JLo wants a future with A-Rod. JLo would marry A-Rod if he asked. She is head over heals for him. They get each other in so many ways. They are perfect for each other. Their families love how they are together.”
Who even knows if JLo actually wants to make A-Rod her fourth husband, or if it’s just fun to keep us guessing. The only way we’ll really know for sure is if she’s seen coming out of a Barnes & Noble with a stack of those 10lb bridal magazines. There’s no way she’d buy them for show; keeping a marriage rumor going isn’t a good enough reason to risk dislocating a shoulder.
Speaking of weddings, here’s JLo looking like an attention-hungry maid of honor at the NBC Upfronts in New York City on Monday.