Category: 2018 Oscars

Casey Affleck Isn’t Presenting Best Actress At The Oscars This Year. Hmm… I Wonder Why?

January 25, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s Oscar tradition that the winner of the previous year’s Best Actor award present the Best Actress award (and the previous year’s Best Actress winner presents the Best Actor award). Because of that tradition, we got the beautiful moment where Brie Larson internally screamed “Go fuck yourself” while presenting Casey with the Best Actor award at last year’s Oscars. But sadly, we won’t get to see forever fuck-deficient Frances McDormand actually scream “Go fuck yourself” at Casey Affleck when he presents her with the Best Actress award (because she’s totally going to win). That’s not going to happen, because Casey isn’t going to the Oscars this year.

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The 2018 Oscar Nominations Were Announced…. And None For You, James Franco!

January 23, 2018 / Posted by:

This year’s Oscars will be held in a parking lot a block away from The Dolby Theater in Hollywood, it will be BYOC (bring your own champagne), everyone will sit on folding chairs, crates or the ground, and the statues will be spray painted gold and made from recycled dog food cans. Because the Academy busted their entire budget on this morning’s nominations ceremony, which was hosted by Andy Serkis (who wasn’t wearing a green bodysuit, weirdly enough) and Tiffany Haddish, who was a mess and may have been morning drunk (I don’t blame her ass) since she had too many Adele Dazeem moments to count. But she should get a bonus for her seductive pronunciation of Call Me By Your Name.

Nearly every category was introduced with a little skit starring actresses like Michelle Yeoh, Rosario Dawson, Gal Gadot, Michelle Rodriguez, Rebel Wilson, Priyanka Chopra, Zoe Saldana and Molly Shannon. Yes, they spent money, which leads me to the actual noms…

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