The “Who Cares?” News

December 13, 2006 / Posted by:

Naomi Campbell claims she’s a target – Jossip

Tom Cruise really should lay off the trans fat – Gabsmash

FHM Magazine bites the dust – Radar

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer may make nauseatingly, disgusting music together – SOW

Is Katie Holmes “carrying” another alien spawn? – Mollygood

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Fergie Signs on to Dancing with the Stars 4

December 13, 2006 / Posted by:

No not Fergie Ferg! Fergie the Duchess of Pork…I mean York! She has become the first official “star” to join the reality show Dancing with the Stars. Jennifer Aniston was rumored to be in talks, but that proved to be just that. A rumor.

Conrad Green, the show’s producer said, “Fergie will add a touch of class to the proceedings and the fans will be waiting to see if she falls for her dance partner. Everyone loves a royal romance and her presence will bring dazzling ratings. We like having a mixture and we’ve not had a duchess.”

The show will debut sometime next year. Hey, this is a step up for her! Susan Lucci was also on Regis & Kelly talked about how she would love to do the show, but her schedule with All My Children doesn’t really call for it. Susan needs to make this happen, because she would be so hot.

Oh and I expect at least one Gotti or a KFed to do this show.

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She Fucks?

December 13, 2006 / Posted by:

According to Page Six, Joel Madden may have dumped Hilary Duff because she wouldn’t spread. Hilary is saving herself for marriage and is still a virgin. Joel is an oldie olsen and isn’t waiting around to get a little action. So, he moved on to another skinny-bone-jones, Nicole Richie.

The two have sped up their relationship even though they’ve been dating a few weeks. Nicole was also said to be leaving Joel’s Glendale home when she was pulled over for driving on vicodin and weed.

Nicole already finds Joel her “rock.” She listed him as her emergency contact on her booking papers when she was arrrested.

Ok, I can understand that Joel wants to get a little action..but Nicole Richie does not come to mind. Isn’t that like screwing a bag of bones, literally? When he sticks it in the front it probably comes out the back. Not hot.

What’s in Parasite’s Nose?

December 13, 2006 / Posted by:

Parasite Hilton and Fat Elvis left lunch in NYC with a little white Christmas up her nose. The two apparently spent $2600 on a steak lunch. Witnesses at the restaurant say she kept her sunglasses on the entire time. Probably, because they are blood shot to hell from all the snorting she’s doing.

Actually, I think it’s crusty jizz from Fat Elvis.

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Image Source: Splash

This Has to End Soon

December 13, 2006 / Posted by:

Star Magazine spoke to the father of JR Rotem about his relationship with Britney Spears. The two are currently working together on her album and have been seen kissing and “hanging out.” JR’s father knows nothing about it and it’s news to him.

He said, “I actually saw those pictures too, but Jonathan didn’t tell me anything about that. Jonathan’s worked with Britney, but that’s all I know — that’s all he’s told me. If there is something going on, I don’t think it’s serious. You know, they’re just pictures. Photographers catch a moment and the headlines start to go wild!”

JR strangely enough also worked on KFed’s album.

Brit Brit is totally going to marry this wannabe Gotti, right? She’s probably already knocked up and they’ve already filmed a sex tape.

JR is now doing the rounds acting just like KFed. He’s going to all the hot spots to be seen as Britney’s new piece. Ugh, someone get word to JJ and SPF to please ask their slut-mommy not to make this man their daddy.

Source & Image Source: Splash

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Please Tell Me This is True!

December 13, 2006 / Posted by:

Heather Locklear recently spent a Hawaiin holiday with the nastiness that is David Spade. Well, hopefully that little trip was to say goodbye for good. Heather may be dating the serious hotness that is Johnathan Schaech. I have been a fan of this hunk of hotness for years now. He used to be married to Christina Applegate, but that piece of tramp cheated on his ass and they divorced.

How could you cheat on this? Anyway, sources close to Heather claim the two are now secretly dating. They were seen the other night “canoodling” at a steakhouse in Thousand Oaks.

A source said, “She really likes him. It’s still in that fun, getting-to-know-each-other stage.”

Johnathan could use a little waxing, but a million times better than Spade. Heather seriously needs a little fire in her hole. I will say that David probably eats bagina like a champ. The fug ones always seem to be good at that, so I’ve heard!

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