I am playing a lead role in a new ABC show called Footballers’ Wives. I heard about it weeks ago but refused to go in on it because A) I don’t like football and B) I don’t play “wives”!
Never say never, eh? For the past couple of months I was having to hang up on Marissa and Eric who were desperate for me to do it. “She’s an I-D-I-O-T!!!” they bitched behind my back.
Their other best friend, Marco Penette, the show’s producer, and Mike McDonald, show executive and Rob’s colleague from Herc and Xena, days both rang me and demanded I come in and at least try the role on for size. I did and I guess it fit pretty good because five minutes after leavng the Network, I had the job. I hadn’t even fired up up the P-Bird in the parking lot.
Now Marissa is doing a little jig and they are trying to find the right guy to play my husband. Someone big, stoopid and vulnerable, please!
I am a little bewildered as to how this all came about. It has dropped out of the sky on me with all the subtlety of a falling refrigerator.
Oh, well. Clearly, I am not in control of this bus. Just riding it to the end.
We’ll see what happens.
Sources say Xena aka Lucy will play Tanya Turner, the head wife and head crazy bitch of the show. Personally, I sort of see it. I think that there’s a lot to Lucy people can’t see…like a DICK! Just kidding. I’m sure these hos sort of know what they are doing. I feel so close to Tanya since we’re both crazy, cunty, gold digging sluts! That being said, I pray Bryan Singer knows what he’s doing.
ET’s Mark Steines was with Howard K. Stern when he reunited with Dannielynn Hope in the Bahamas. Mark said he had planned to see Howard and Anna Nicole Smith in 2 weeks for their official wedding. Howard is in the Bahamas to “protect” Dani and keep her away from Anna’s mother, Vergie Arthur. Vergie is there to see if she can bring Dani back home with her to Texas. Anna has said in the past that she wishes to never see her mother again.
Mark said, “Howard, in tears, at times unable to speak, shares with me that his daughter is the light helping him go on. As the plane lifts above the clouds, Howard thinks of those his precious Anna Nicole left behind. In a voice barely heard above the din of the jet engines he tells me, ‘I want her friends to pray that Anna Nicole is safe, happy and with Daniel.’ After the plane touches down in the Bahamas, watching Howard hold Dannielynn for the first time since her mother’s death is heart wrenching. With tears rolling down his face he reveals the depth of his pain: ‘I wouldn’t be here now, but I had to get back to Dannielynn. I held her in my arms and couldn’t believe her mom is gone. I know Anna loved her more than anything in the world.'”
ET has been with Anna and Howard through all the scandals even showing her c-section on National TV. Howard has invited the entertainment show into his home and ET will air interviews with him all week. I wonder how much they had to pay for that?
Poor Danni doesn’t really have anybody does she? Now that she’s possibly worth a boat load, everyone’s trying to get a piece. Howard is a nut job, Vergie Arthur wants dough, Larry B also wants dough, Prince Douchebag wants fame and ugh…. I think Sugarpie and Kimmy should share custody.
Whitney Houston made a rare appearance out last night at Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy party in Los Angeles. Besides the Medusa-like wig, homegirl looks hot. She has the breasts in check and looks pretty happy. I’m rooting for her to keep on track, get the voice in check and stage a brilliant comeback. She just needs to make sure she stays away from the pipe, for real.
A Quantas stewardess may find her ass in an unemployment line after getting frisky with Ralph FineASS during her shift. The 38-year-old was suspended after co-workers saw her leave the bathroom seconds after Ralph during a long flight from Australia to India.
The stewardHO in question, Lisa Robertson said, “While conversing with Mr Fiennes during my break, I expressed a need to go to the toilet. I went to the nearby toilet and entered it, he followed me and entered the same toilet. I explained to him that this was inappropriate and asked him to leave. Mr Fiennes became amorous towards me and, after a short period of time, I convinced him to leave the toilet, which he did. I left the toilet a short time later.”
LIAR! Who could resist that hunk of man? I’d be happy to get fired from my job for a quick prostate tickle with that hotness. She needs to stop lying and give it up like she gave it up to Ralph. There’s nothing wrong with a little sexy time on the job.
Here’s some new promo shots for Madonna’s collection for H&M. Some of them are low-quality, but you get the effect. Yeah, she looks hot thanks to a little air and brushing, but I’m not hating. Amazon.com also has some new footage of Madge in Malawai for all your die-hard M fans.
I was wondering how long it would take Isaac Cohen to spill the beans on Britney Spears. He
sold told his story to the News Of the World and the picture he paints of Brit isn’t a positive one. He said that she is basically a nymphomanic, crazy sex ho that tired him with her marathon sex sessions. LALALALALALA…I ain’t listening…LALALALALA! SUCIO!
Isaac said that Brit loved to do the devil’s deed on a revolving bed watching herself in mirror on the ceiling in a suite at the Palms in Las Vegas. He said she loved to do it on her bed with her wedding dress hanging on the door. WTF?!
Isaac also said, “She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous. She was totally happy when we were locked in each other’s arms. But once the sex stopped Britney was like a little girl lost, unable to cope. She would lie like a limp rag doll in my arms and and say, ‘Why can’t everyone leave me alone?’ and, ‘What have I done to deserve this?'”
Isaac said that she is a boozing party girl, but that her boys mean everything to her. He also said she’s not over her marriage to KFed and keeps her wedding dress in a glass box. Cuckoo!!!!
Isaac goes on and on and on and really doesn’t bring anything new to light. Click here to read the entire interview.
I know he’s a lying fool, becaue he described Brit’s body as “fantastic.” More like FATASTIC!