St. Angie’s ex-husband, Jonny Lee Miller, has a new baby with his wife, Michele Hicks, and they have named him Buster Timothy Miller. Buster Miller!

People says that Buster Miller was born in Los Angeles on Wednesday and weighed in at 9lbs.

I can already hear the kids calling him Busted Busta! Parents need to think this shit through. You can’t make it easy for school bullies! Although, some bullies get pretty creative. In junior high school, one dumb bitch used to call me Michael Dichael. Get it? Dyke. He thought he was so clever for that shit. I hope he’s eating Dinty Moore out of a rusty pot. The bastard.

Buster Miller is either going to grow up to be a mischievous puppy dog or an old timey newspaper paper boy who does song and dance numbers in between his deliveries.

Actually, I shouldn’t say that shit. There’s all different kind of Busters! There’s Buster Keaton, Buster Brown, Buster Baxter, Buster Bluth and now we have Buster Miller!

Saint Angelina Jolie has knocked Reese Witherspoon off her golden throne and is now the highest paid actress in the entire universe according to The Hollywood Reporter. You know some bitchy ass alien is giving me the side-eye because she’s the highest paid actress on Mars.

In 2008, Angie’s movies including Kung Fu Panda and Wanted totaled $1 billion worldwide. She makes up to $15 million per movie.

I’m sure Saint Angie has it on her “To do list” to donate every last cent she’s ever made to the humans of the world. She’ll live the rest of her life as a peasant in some shanty town so that every person on this planet can say they’ve been touched by her kindness. Either that or she’ll use her fortune to adopt more kids and finally create a child army big enough to take us all down. Yeah, probably the latter.

The rest of the top 5 looks like this:

2. Julia Roberts
3. Reese Witherspoon
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Katherine Heigl

Wait. Stop. Hold up. Rewind. Put the phone down. Throw the pie away. Choke a kitten. KATHERINE HEEEIGL?! Katherine “makes me want to stick a knife in my peen hole” Heigl is the 5th highest paid actress in the world?! Okay, whoever is paying this ho to act in anything needs to be taken out back and beat with a tree branch by my abuelita.

VIA UsWeekly

We see a lot of celebwhores trying to cover up their faces from the paps for whatever reason. Honestly, it makes them look stupider, but let’s not tell them that. Instead, let’s cash in on it.

These dumb dumbs will buy anything designer that’s really expensive, so we should sell some kind of cardboard box that they put over their head so their face doesn’t get papped. Of course, we’ll cover the cardboard box in Louis Vuitton leather or some shit so it looks fancy. We’ll also personalize the boxes by stitching it with phrases like: “Hi. It’s Jennifer Aniston underneath here. Please leave me alone.” Because celebwhores still want us to know it’s them, but want us to think they want privacy. And if the phrase isn’t enough for them, we’ll super glue their head shot on the box too. We’ll be rich!

And if you’re not already asleep from looking at these pictures of Jenny Aniston in L.A., you will be soon, so below I’ve provided you a lovely lullaby video tribute of our beloved Live Feed Puppies. The video is beautiful, but the song is all wrong. It should be “Goodbye” by the Spice Girls instead.

The following story is about crossdressing criminals and the mug shot above is my favorite full-length mug shot of a crossdressing criminal. It fits.

Yesterday at Harry Winston in Paris, two fancy-looking couples strolled into the joint and began browsing the merchandise. It didn’t take employees long to realize that the fine ladies were actually dudes dressed in wigs and dresses. All four dudes whipped out their guns (sounds sexy) and forced 15 people including employees and customers into a corner.

The crossdressers and their boyfriends then started loading their bags with necklaces, broaches, rings, watches and any other shiny expensive shit they could get their satin covered hands on.

I mean, those cross dressers better have been wearing full-length black satin gloves or that would be a crime in itself. I also hope that they draped the jewelry all over their body while performing “Diamonds are a Crossdresser’s Best Friend” for the entire store.

Anyway, it only took them 20 minutes to snatch $108 million worth of jewelry. It’s the biggest jewel theft in French history and the second biggest in Europe. Police say the robbers are probably headed for Eastern Europe to sell their booty on the black market.

This shit is like Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar meets Rififi! I bet you Hollywood is already working on the movie version of this shit starring Tommy Girl and Johnny Travolta, of course.

I need security footage of this shit right now! I’m sure it’s hot, but I don’t know if it could beat the footage of the crossdressing man who robbed Burger King a while ago. Clip below:

Source

Behold! This is what natural perfection looks like – Hollywood Rag

Mary Carey is no CoCo – Hollywood Tuna

Nicole Kidman can’t be bothered with silly car seats – Lainey Gossip

Maddox spits on commercial flights! – Popsugar

The world’s oldest living animal (and no it’s not Larry King) – Towleroad

Holly Madison is a natural beauty – IDLYITW

Kourtney Kardashian has a hungry snatch (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Chupa Zoe’s reality show is coming back – Just Jared

More from MiserAlba’s Campari shoot – Egotastic!

Hollywood’s leading trannies – Cityrag