Escandalo! Maybe? I hope. Kelly Rutherford has quit her marriage of two years and she’s three months knocked up! Oh shit. Dat baby ain’t his! Or maybe she woke up and realized he had busted gay face for a reason: because he loves the peen. Or maybe he got sick of sharing the tit with his 2-year-old! Uh oh. Here comes the e-mails from La Leche League. Brace yourself, inbox.

Whatever the case may be, Kelly filed for divorce from Daniel Giersch on December 30th in Los Angeles. She claimed the good old “irreconcilable differences” as the reason why her legal union crashed and burned. I’m pretty sure that in Hollywood, “irreconcilable differences” means the wifey caught the husband licking on another man’s ass lips. Check the legal books.

Kelly and Daniel have a 2-year-old handbag son together they named Hermés Gustaf Giersch.

This is Kelly’s second divorce. Her first marriage lasted a grand total of five whole months. Hey, at least she broke her last record.

But seriously, I think I’ve seen her power bottom twink husband dancing to a Deborah Cox song on a box in nothing but tighty whiteys at Micky’s in West Hollywood back in the day.

Ian Golder, world famous Macaroni and Cheese lover – Ian was featured on that show Unwrapped because of his insane obsession with boxed Macaroni and Cheese. This dude is all kinds of awesome. Just watch him describe how all of his 365 boxes are the same. “It always has the word ‘dinner’ on it, even though people eat it for lunch.” Amazing.

Ian also opened my eyes to the underground world of boxed Mac and Cheese fetishists, because apparently he gets fan mail from around the world! By the way, half of those letters probably come from Brit Brit. I also have to ask, do you think he ever gets sexy with his and only love “American Pie-style“? Probably only with Velveeta’s Shells and Cheese. It’s “the smooth, creamy, one-of-a-kind taste your family will love and keeping asking for by name.” Clip below:

(For Nina)

Danica McKellar (34)
Alex D. Linz (20)
Kimberly Locke (31)
Jason Marsden (34)
Mel Gibson (53)
Victoria Principal (59)
Dabney Coleman (77)
Robert Loggia (79)

I am a zillion light years late with this, but I was traveling back from California to NYC for most of today. I know I just disappeared. I figured I’d write a note to you bitches in the terminal, but Long Beach Airport’s janky ass internet was not cooperating, so I had to nix it. But here’s the story. Skip it if you’ve heard it a million times already.

John Travolta and Kelly Preston’s 16-year-old son, Jett, died in the Bahamas while he was on vacation with his family. Jett was last seen going into the bathroom in one his family’s suites at the Old Bahama Bay Hotel last night. His body wasn’t discovered until 10 this morning by his caretaker, Jeff Michael Kathrein. Jeff is the blondie in the picture below and he was also caught kissing on John Travolta back in 2006.

TMZ says that the police report states Jett suffered a seizure and hit his head on the bathtub. John’s attorney said his son died at the scene after attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. His attorney also said that Jett had a history of seizures.

There were rumors that Jett was Autistic, but John has always denied this and even threatened to sue over it. John said Jett had Kawasaki Syndrome, a disorder that can lead to heart disease. Kelly Preston later blamed household cleaners for all of Jett’s health problems. She said one of L. Ron Hubbard’s detoxification programs helped Jett.

An autopsy is being performed on Jett to find the exact cause of death.

I’ll admit that when I first heard about this, the word “Scientology” came at me in big evil letters, but we won’t know anything until the autopsy. When I was on the plane, the women behind me were watching this story on Larry King and totally saying all this crazy shit. People were totally giving them the side-eye. They should’ve wrote this post. All I know is that this sad all around and I will leave it at that.

Here is case #3,457,485 of a bitch using the phrase “over the moon” to describe a new part of their life. It’s my duty to keep track of this kind of overused fuckery.

This one comes from Sarah Palin. She issued this statement yesterday about the birth of her new grandkiddie Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston: “We are over the moon with the arrival of this healthy, beautiful baby. The road ahead for this young couple will not be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.”

Wait. If this came from Sarah Plain, shouldn’t they be “over the dead moose”?

Thanks Michael

Why is Wolverine so angry? The jacuzzi is supposed to be soothing. Have a glass of boxed wine, put your peen in the jet and relax – Towleroad

Chloe Sevigny is in a two-piece – Egotastic!

No break for Beckham – Lainey Gossip

Brit Brit returns to her native Walmart – Just Jared

Beat and beater – Hollywood Tuna

Jennifer Garner has been pregnant for decades – Popsugar

The horror of celebrity clowns – Cityrag

The Queen’s family jewels have been stolen – Hollywood Rag

How was Aretha Franklin not #1 on this list? (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Working out every day isn’t going to erase Fergie’s methface – I’m Not Obsessed

Sophia Bush still exists – ICYDK

Kate Hudson is boring – Celebitchy