For a quick second, I thought the magnificent Shiba Inu 6 would make your hearts grow back, forcing you to vote for them to win, but this did not happen! Rojo Caliente won over 50% of the votes. This was the right choice. Rojo is now the final Hot Slut of the Month and the first part of voting will begin tomorrow to determine who is the hottest slut who ever slutted (during 2008 anyway).

Thanks to all who voted!

Celebwhore relationships are like ass pimples. When you pop one, another one grows in its place shortly after. Yesterday, two Hollyweird couples went bust, and today another announced they are gettin’ married!

Alyssa Milano’s spokeswhore told People that she’s engaged to some Shrek-beast-type-man who goes by the name of David Bugliari. I shouldn’t say that. I’m sure he’s a wonderful person. And by “wonderful person” I mean he probably has a big peen. Although, it kind of looks like he has a hairy dick trunk. That’s what my peendar tells me anyway.

Dave is an agent at CAA. They’ve been dating for about a year. If they go through with this shit, it will be Alyssa’s second marriage.

Alyssa is only 36 (that still makes me feel old) so she still has time for her third, fourth and fifth marriage. And she’s also smart in the brains for marrying an agent. If you’re a has-been, you should either marry an agent, marry an Arab billionaire, leak a sex tape or humiliate yourself in a reality show. The first two are definitely your classiest options.

Brody Jenner’s new douchemance. But he’ll have to share with the pre-op on the left – Towleroad

Jim Carrey should be wearing the bikini – Egotastic!

Three fugs in a row – Hollywood Tuna

Jakey and I feed our dogs the same shit! Meant to be…. – Popsugar

Goop talks poop – Hollywood Rag

Hot trash picking up trash – Just Jared

Shenae Grimes is a fucking idiot (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Hugh Jackman in lethah – Lainey Gossip

Elephant and dog: a beautiful love story – Cityrag

Cameron Diaz would look prettier if she was holding that bag higher – I’m Not Obsessed

I wish they would say “Bye Bye” to this idea – SOW

Tim Allen is having a baby – ICYDK

John Mayer totally wants to lick Pete Wentz’s clitty – Celebitchy

This will be even better than Tempestt Bledsoe’s talk show – Socialite Life

Holly, Kendra and Bridget have been replaced by 19-year-old twins, Karissa and Kristina, and now 22-year-old Crystal Harris (the skeezer in the headband). Over the holidays, Crystal apparently went on E!’s message boards and told everyone she was now on Hef’s payroll as his third hooker. The NYDN says Crystal, a San Diego State psychology student, wrote, “Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion.”

She also said that right now Hef just has three whores, but “there are a couple that we have interest in. … As for now, it is just us three.”

Crystal hasn’t been in Playboy yet, but she has bared her Ziploc sacks for the website. Click here to see her precious MySpace. It looks like the brain of an 12-year-old girl created it. Oh wait…

I’m getting a total Kendra vibe from the new ho. Well, if Kendra swallowed Holly and Bridget whole and had trouble digesting them.

And it makes sense why Hef always needs three skanks on staff. He needs one to pull his right prune cheek, one to pull the left and the third ho gets in there and wipes him up real good.

This is a new feature we’re going to try out today. If it works out, this shit will be here every day with a new host. If it FAILS, we will forget this ever happened and never speak of this again. EVER!

Many of you commenters want to talk about shit I don’t cover on this here site and are too lazy to register on the forum, so that’s why I created this little space. You can talk about whatever the fuck you want like Gordon Ramsay’s sun-dried tomato face, boring political shit, your boyfriend’s chunky jizz, etc… etc…. Just keep all your off-topic banter here and follow the same rules: no racist caca and if you fight, don’t leave marks. Happy ranting!

Over the Christmas break, I spent ten gazillion hours watching the Golden Girls marathon on Lifetime from my mom’s couch. It made me wish I could have these memaws in my life every single day and now it’s possible with the Golden Girls dolls! Except, they’re sold out. Fuck! My! Dreams!

My friend Guy sent me over this site which features all sorts of dolls of beloved characters from TV and cinema. Usually, dolls make me scream for my mommy, but these Golden Dolls don’t. Although, the Bea Arthur doll sort of makes me uncomfortable since it looks like she’s coming to tear my head off and stuff it into her mouth. Okay…maybe I do need my mommy.

Click here to see the rest of the dolls including the extremely horrifying Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? dolls. Satan does exist! And the Nicole Kidman Moulin Rouge doll looks more life-like than the real thing.

P.S. – The doll artist also does commissions! A Rojo Caliente doll can finally be mine! They already have a Chicken Cutlets doll!