Coco Chanel is digging herself out of her own grave to come beat this twat – Hollywood Tuna

Mischa Barton posted staged bikini pictures of herself in a bid for her relevancy – Egotastic!

Lady Gaga’s acoustic version of “Poker Face” isn’t completely shitty – Towleroad

Pitt on a bike – Popsugar

Happy Birfday, Zahara – Lainey Gossip

Playboy needs some of this (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Taylor Lautner is still Jacob in the Twilight sequel. Whatever that means…. – Just Jared

Drunky Alba – Cityrag

I’m afraid SamRo’s chopstick legs make break during scissor sessions – Hollywood Rag

An artiste named Alex Gardega wishes to do harm to the world by painting a 6-foot nude portrait of Rachael Ray using paprika and oils. Alex described her as “charming and sexy.” Please tell me he’s painting it with his mouth, because he’s in a straitjacket. Anybody who thinks this ho is charming and sexy needs to spend a few moons in a padded cell.

A nude of Rachael Ray is only allowed if you use the ashes of charred up souls only found on the grounds in the ninth circle of hell.

And where the fuck will you hang a nude of Rachael Ray anyway? I guess, in your bathroom. If you’ve ever got the no-poops, you can look at her paprika snatch and your butt will instantly begin barfing.

Source: Page Six

It’s day three (or tree as my abuelita would say) of our little experiment with the open post. This is where you commenters don’t have to talk about the topic at hand. You can rant about the always popular topic of poop (poopular) or you can discuss the many faces of Hugh Laurie at the People’s Choice Awards last night. Whatever your icy cold hearts want.

I’ll start: Is it totally normal for my dog to be trying to hack up snot through his nose like this? Yes, I know he’s totally congested, but the noses he makes are really fucking hilarious. Especially when he does them while I’m walking down the street and people ask, “Is he dying?” No, you dumb bitch! He’s just allergic to your stupidity and needs to use the Neti-Pot.

This is the most adorable thing I’ve seen since watching a video of a hedgehog stuck in a toilet paper roll earlier today. It’s Verne Troyer when he was in high school in Michigan. So I guess we can say when he was a mini-mini-Mini-Me. He looks like a little chipmunk! I just want to give birth to him and feed him acorns. You know, that’s probably possible now, because I’m sure I can get him up my no-no and then push him out. But he doesn’t have that little Alvin from The Chipmunks face anymore!

Verne was even voted Centreville High’s Prom King! Hmm… I suspect some ballot-stuffing went on. Meaning, Verne stuffed himself in the ballot box, so that when they went to open it, he was just sitting there. They said “fuck it” and declared him the winner! Seriously, if he went to my high school, I would have voted him Prom King, Homecoming Queen, Big Mini Man on Campus, etc… etc….

And for more Verne adorableness, click here to see him in an afro wig singing “Endless Love” with Ulrika Jonsson on Celebrity Big Brother. I wish Verne could serenade me to sleep every night with his lil’ baby chipmunk voice.

Jay Mohr changed his name to Jay Cox Mohr (or Mohr Cox as I like to call him) to show his love for his wife Nikki. But what he really should have done to show his affection for her is take away the Wesson oil or whatever else she’s fucking injecting into her poor lips.

That shit is making my own lips want to run to the nearest law office to get some kind of contract together for me to agree never to torture them this way. It’s not normal that when you talk, your lips start making whistle noises. I bet you Mohr Cox is making her partake in this fuckery, because the greedy fucktard wants her to have two sets of cooch lips. Please, Nikki! My lips are begging you to quit it. Go get your lips lipoed before they get bigger, cover up your nostrils and prevent you from breathing through your nose. It’s not too late.

…..has a video changed my life and reminded me the true talent and hardcore glamour that exists in this world. Just like “The Renewed Mind is the Key,” the music video above features a group of bitches who really deserve to be mega international superstars.

It was made in the 80s (when everything hot was created) by some company called the Southern Food Broker Corporation. They had the genius idea to do their own version of the “Super Bowl Shuffle” creatively called the “Super BROKER Shuffle.” Why are they so imaginative? Apparently, the company doesn’t exist anymore. Their headquarters probably exploded from the intense levels of raw talent inside the building.

We need to start a petition to get this group back together, so they can take their act on the road and revitalize hip hop! They have the power to do it. Although, the three hot bitches at 3:14 mark should join Danity Kane instead.

The dude at the 1:01 mark is my next baby daddy. He’ll probably beat me up, cheat on me with hookers, give me The Clap, make me blow his homies, sell our baby for meth and call me a whore in front of my mom, but I don’t care! I’m whipped by his rap skills. I’m rapmatized.

And don’t eff with the G at the 2:40 mark. Not only will you go to hell if you don’t buy his shit, but he will also gat slap you.

This is some EPIC shit.

Thanks PV