Are Brit & Paris Fighting Over Fat Elvis?

December 17, 2006 / Posted by:

Does a human made out of lard and sweat have to do with the break-up of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears? Sources say that Paris became jealous that Britney was becoming so close to Brandon Davis. Apparently, Paris has told all her friends to push Britney out of their circle.

A source said, “Paris is very protective over her men and she didn’t want Britney getting too close.”

That source was most likely Fat Elvis himself. Here’s some pics of Brit Brit going out the other night. She still needs a bath and a new colorist.

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Hot Slut of the Week: Joel Osteen

December 17, 2006 / Posted by:

Age: 43
Birthday: March 5, 1963
Birth Name: Joel Scott Osteen

Original Date of HS of the Day: December 14, 2006
Claim to Fame: Head pastor of the Lakewood Church in Houston, TX and is the most famous televangelist today. His church holds 35,000 people.

Where is he now? Recently featured as one of the Barbara Walter’s most 10 Fascinating People.
Why is he HS of the Week? I mean he asks Jesus to give people bonuses and raises and that’s my kind of pastor. His wife is also one of the hottest women in the world…well if the world was still in 1983.

Beat.Wreck.Ratty.

December 17, 2006 / Posted by:

Did Renee Zellweger wrestle a black bear for the last pot of honey and fall down an embakement while on her way to the Miss Potter screening? Yeah, I think so too.

Source: Goldenfiddle

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So Not Over

December 17, 2006 / Posted by:

Gabsmash is reporting that Life & Style has published reports that the honeymoon is over between Christina Aguilera and her husband of one year, Jordan Bratman. Xtina and Jordan have longed been known as one of the most stable and drama-free couples in Hollywood. The celeb weekly may just be starting trash just to start it. They are reporting that while Xtina is touring, Jordan has been partying it up in Hollyweird without his wedding ring.

A source said, “On December 6, Christina left Hotel Plaza Athenee in Paris without her ring, she looked upset. Over the course of three nights, Jordon did the club scene with friends- also without his ring. He was looking sad and distressed.”

Their spokeswhores deny any rift between the couple. I think this is just a stupid rumor. They look in love and Jordan has basically landed himself a diamond. Look at his ass! He’s fug as hell and should be lucky to have the hotness that is Xtina. He probably has a big dick, big and veiny. Eww, I grossed myself out.

Vincent Gallo Never Got Enough Attention as a Child

December 17, 2006 / Posted by:

A few months ago piece of grease, Vincent Gallo, offered himself for $50,000. He considered this a bargain, because he’s so hot. Well…he’s now upped his price even though nobody took advantage of this deal of a lifetime. He’s now offering himself for $100,000 plus expenses.

He said, “Heavy-set, older red-heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused. However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. No way, José.”

Vincent also advised women interested in this deal to watch his film “The Brown Bunny” where he shows his wang to make sure they can take his girth. In the movie Vincent famously gets serviced by Chloe Sevigny. Dumb ho even swallows his load like the used trash can she is. Click here to see Vincent’s amazing man meat. It’s as appetizing as a rotted Vienna sausage.

Oh and he’s still selling his sperm for $1 million. Please, this caca for brains is just trying to get some attention. By saying “even black girls and red-heads,” he’s obviously trying to start something. That being said, I’d hit it.

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