It’s a Small World After All!

October 26, 2006 / Posted by:

Angelina Jolie is currently in India filming “A Mighty Hard-On” with Brad Pitt and company. She’s grown to love India so much that she’s looking to buy a very special memento; a baby! Yup, bitch is looking to add yet another flavor to her harem.

A source said, “They hope to be able to bring the child home by Christmas. Brad would prefer a boy no older than 18 months to even out the sexes but Angie has told him she can’t guarantee she won’t fall in love with a little girl. Whichever they end up with, they’d like to name the child India to honor its homeland”

The pair have apparently window shopped in a few orphanages last week. Angelina has said in the past that she would love one big multi-cultural family.

Maddox is still the OG and has no reason to worry. I’m sure he’s kicking ass and taking names.

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Blohan’s Scared of Being a Dyke

October 26, 2006 / Posted by:

Lindsay Blohan will have to use a British accent in her next film, “A Woman of No Importance.” She stars alongside Keira Knightley and begins shooting in London next spring.

She said, “I’m going to London in the spring to make a movie with KEIRA KNIGHTLEY. It’s a period piece and my character has a British accent. But it’s crazy. If I hang out with a British person for an hour or so, I start talking just like them. I can pick up accents pretty well. But I don’t want to be remembered like Van Dyke.”

She can pick up accents well? What the hell is she talking about? The only accent she can do well is moron. I can’t wait for this shit, because it’s going to be so good. Her accent is going to be worse than Julia Roberts’ in “Mary Reilly”.

Oh and these pics are from the Xbox party last night. She totally took these two after the party.

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Everyone’s Talking About KFed

October 26, 2006 / Posted by:


Blohan & KFed at the XBox “Gears of War” launch party in L.A. on 10/25/06

KFed is a legend in his own mind. Entertainment Weekly conducted a “personality test” with KFed for their most recent issue. I’m not sure how you conduct such a test on someone who doesn’t have a personality in the first place. Anyway, he arrogantly told the magazine that he’s the, “most talked-about [person] of anyone over the last couple of years.”

Um…he’s sort of right but sort of. Sure, people are talking about him but not for the right reasons. He understands that, but thinks he’s getting a bum rap. “If you want to hate me, cool, hate me. You know why? Because all it’s going to do is help me.”

He goes on to boast that he’s really proud of himself and that he’s the most underrated celebrity in the World. This bitch needs to lay off the chronic. Is that shit laced with crazy dust, because it’s playing tricks on his mind.

He did say something that for some reason sums up his entire existence:

“I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense,”

Yup, that pretty much sums up the KFed.

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Parasite Can’t Dance

October 26, 2006 / Posted by:

Parasite Hilton was in Spain last week and tried to look sexy for the locals. Bitch is not sexy. Obese, Tijuana hookers are sexier than this trash and cleaner. Club and hotel owners are also getting sick of this mess. Bungalow 8 and The Bryant Park Hotel in NYC have both denied her of entrance, because they are trying to do something different. Yeah, letting disease free people in. Add the Tower Bar in Los Angeles to that list. Esquire held a party there this past weekend and Paris was told not to show, because the bar doesn’t want to associate themselves with trash.

Let the Parasite ban begin!

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The Hobbit VS Jordan Catalano

October 26, 2006 / Posted by:


Dlisted reader, Timothy, attended the MTV U Woodie Awards last night. I’m not sure what that is, but I’ll take it. He witnessed some strange interaction between Elijah Wood and Jared Leto. Here’s what went down:

Last night I went to the MTV U Woodie Awards ( what the fuck are those right?) and luckily I scored a spot in one of the “common folk” pens right near the celebrity tables. So the entire night I am ten feet from Elijah Wood, who is cuter than expected, shorter than expected and smokes a lot (yeah they let the celebrities smoke at their tables….fuckers) Anyway also in attendance was Jared Leto with his stupid band 30 Seconds to Mars. The show went as expected bands played, bands I never heard of won awards etc. As the show was winding down and TV on the Radio was performing Jared Leto was working the tables, saying hey.

He then comes over to Elijah’s table. I’m like “Oh my god they are totes gonna make out”. Jared puts his arm on the hobbits back and starts whispering stuff in his ear and and occasionally pulling back to look him in the face. Jared then walks away and Elijah turns to his date for the evening friends and says something. Well something about this must have pissed Jared off because he comes running back to the table, grabs Elijah by the neck and starts screaming at him. All I could catch was Jared calling him a “fucking asshole”. He then shoves Elijah and storms off. Bodyguards come up and Elijah assures everyone he’s fine. But MAD drama. Any speculations? Maybe its about them both tappin’ the firecrotch.

Hmm…well I speculate 1 our of these 3 things are the cause for this kind of mad dash to squash the midget.

1) Jordan left his lucky panties at Elijah’s house and wants them like really bad. Elijah wants to sell them on eBay.
2) Elijah stole Jared’s role in the remake to Leprechaun
3) Elijah gave Jared vaginal warts

Anna Nicole Smith Told to Get the Hell Out!!!

October 26, 2006 / Posted by:


Anna Nicole Smith has been officially ordered to get the fuck out of her Bahamas home by Halloween. A politician doesn’t think the bitch is good enough to be a resident. Some political dude named, Hubert Ingraham, asked his government to look into her residency status.

He said, “Clearly, Anna Nicole Smith is not a fit and proper person to become a permanent resident of the Bahamas. Her general character and reputation don’t commend her for such status. If she doesn’t own the house, then she would not have met the policy conditions which the government of the Bahamas has with respect to the grant of permanent residence.”

Bitch doesn’t want to return to California, because when she does she will have to deal with a paternity suit filed by Larry Birkhead, the dude that claims to be Danielynn Stern’s true father.

Damn! You know that when the Bahamas throws you out, you’re fucked. Why don’t we have those “good character” laws over here? Half of Hollywood would be living somewhere else! When do we vote?!?

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