Dykes on Bikes!

December 1, 2006 / Posted by:

Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morisette were spotted getting on their hogs (are those hogs anyway – I don’t know what I’m talking about) in Hollywood yesterday. Alanis looks hot. I’d let her stick the tip in.

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Another Blohan Post

December 1, 2006 / Posted by:

It’s not even noon and I’m on my second Lindsay Lohan post of the day. I’m sort of ashamed of myself, but I will deal with it Lohan-style and have a glass of champagne. So, she apparently made quite a scene at the GQ Men of the Years Awards two nights ago. Page Six reports that she was drinking the bubbly all night when she spotted Jessica Biel’s assistant. Jessica’s assisant used to work for Lohan and the two ended on bad terms.

A witness heard Lindsay say, “If she stays, I’m outta here! I can’t look at that girl! I can’t believe you would allow an assistant in here – she doesn’t belong in here!”

The witness also said Will Ferrell then turned to Ben Affleck and said, “Who cares about that freak anymore, anyway?”

I love him.

Homegirl Looks Hot

December 1, 2006 / Posted by:

I give credit where credit is due! Well, most of the time. Pamela Anderson made one of her first appearances last night as a single lady. She showed up at the Arby’s Sports Awards in Los Angeles? Arby’s?! I have no idea what kind of award show that is, but I’m suddenly hungry for horsey sauce.

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Oh Nelly!

December 1, 2006 / Posted by:

I love Nelly Furtado! I see her as the darker and more mysterious Gwen Stefani. However, at last night’s Bambi Awards (Does that have anything to do with Bambi the deer?) she looked like a socialite from the 70s. She’s missing a bottle of dolls, a dry martini and a powerful but distant husband. She needs to give Erica Kane her look back!

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Heath Ledger and Marshmallow Aren’t Getting Married…

December 1, 2006 / Posted by:

I reported that Heath Ledger and Marshmallow Williams were spotted applying for a marriage license in Brooklyn last week. Their reps at first were mum about the subject, but now are saying they aren’t getting hitched! The two have a daughter named Matidla. For now she will remain a bastard. Just kidding, she’s beautiful?

Their rep said, “No, they’re not”.

Yeah, fun stuff.

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Shame on Me!

December 1, 2006 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan’s rep thinks people that blasted her client about her painfully long open letter about the death of Robert Altman need to get a life. Lohan basically went on and on about how heartbroken she was and infamously saying “BE ADEQUATE.”

Her rep said, “It’s enough already. Everybody has got to get a life. People need to get off her back.”

I resent that statement. I do have a life! Take last night for instance. I ate fried chicken with my friend Betty, cocktails with Candice and Parvati and then dancing with Maria Gianni. Yes, they are all TV characters but they are my friends! Um…ok…where do I get one of those “life” things?

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