Somebody is defending Chris Brown and that someone is Terrence Howard. Bitch must have been channeling his character from Hustle & Flow when Hollywood.tv asked him about the RiRi/Brown beat down.

While heading into Mr. Chow, Terry said, “It’s just life man. Chris is a great guy. He’ll be all right. Rihanna knows he loves her. They’ll be alright. Everyone has just got to get out of their way.”

Oh, Terrence. Come over here, let me wipe away the shit nuggets that come pouring out of your mouth. Don’t worry, I’ll use fresh baby wipes. And then I’ll shove all those baby wipes down your throat. Seriously, does RiRi not use baby wipes or something?

And yeah, RiRi knows Chris loves her. She’s got the police report, busted eye and fucked up tenhead to prove it. Real fucking love.

UPDATE: Terry is taking this shit back and wants to wipe it clean. With a baby wipe, of course. He told E! that he had no idea what the fuck Chris allegedly did to RiRi. Basically, Terry says he was speaking out of his baby powder-scented ass without knowing what he was commenting on. Terry said, “When they asked me about Chris Brown the other day, I was in no way aware of what he had been accused of. Had I known, I would have never had said something so insensitive.” Uh huh.

When I first saw the headline at UsWeekly, I thought it read: “Rep: Mandy Moore Engaged to BRYAN Adams.” This confused me at first but then I got all excited thinking of their Robin Hood themed wedding and Bryan singing “Everything I Do (I Do It For You) ” while he walks himself down the aisle. Somebody needs to have a Robin Hood themed wedding and it should be Bryan. But my cum bubble burst when I read it was Ryan not Bryan. Booo.

I didn’t even know they were dating. Or did I? I don’t know. All those boring broccoli people are all the fucking same. According to Us, Mandy has been picking the fleas out of Ryan’s hair since around March. They broke up in July for a quick second. Mandy’s spokeswhore confirmed the engagement.

Mandy has bumped stickies with DJ Am, Zach Braff, Wilmer Valderwhatever and Andy Roddick. Ryan has dated Parker Posey before.

I hope Ryan keeps that gorgeous hair color for the wedding. It’s Autumn Sunrise and I like it.

SPOILER ALERT! Edie Britt, the resident cunt of Desperate Housewives, is done with that shit and will be leaving the show at the end of the season. This is gross news for the two of you who still watch this caca fiesta, me included. ABC confirmed Nicollette’s departure to TV Guide.

ABC didn’t say how Edie would be written off the show, but Ted Casablanca at E! claims he knows how it’s going to go down. A script is currently going around has one of Edie’s final scenes in it. According to Ted, this is what happens: “Edie finds out that her husband, Dave, plans to kill her—and Dave almost does kill her. She runs out of the house, but, alas, poor Edie gets in an accident, something involving her car and an electrical wire.”

Please tell me this is a joke and that’s not how Edie’s swan song is going to play out. Unless, she gets electrocuted from masturbating with the electrical wire, this is not how Edie should go out. She deserves something grand and slutty. A freak vibrator accident, or accidentally choking to death on a massive wang. Something like that! Ugh.

Edie is not the one who should be sent to the glue factory. The bitch knows who Spaghetti Cat is! This is reason alone to keep her. Honestly, I’d do the “fuck yes” dance in my black thong if they threw Susan, Gaby and Katherine into coffins. It would be a quick death scene too. All three get trapped in an elevator together and die from annoying the fuck out of each other.

This is the trailer for Quentin Tarainto’s Inglourious Basterds starring Bradley Pitt, Eli Roth, BJ Novak, Mike Myers, Samuel L. Jackson and Crazy Cloris Leachman. It’s basically just a bunch of Nazi scalping. And Brad is practically scalping me with that accent.

Brad is so cute when he’s trying to be a badass. I just want to pinch his cheeks and say, “Awww. Just put back on that old baby make-up and dance around.” Now that would be a movie worth emptying your checking account for in order to buy a ticket. The Curious Case of BENJAMIN BUTTON’S Scalping the Nazis!

Click here if you can’t see the shit above.

It was business as usual on last night’s Really Plastic Housewives of Orange County. Jeana and her hairy gay escorted her daughter to Berkley and gaped at the “bummers.” Gretchen went on another vacation to get away from all “the stress” she’s suffering due to her sick sugar pepaw. And Lynne continued to be the dumbest piece of greasy beef jerky in the county.

As for Droopy Dog’s doppleganger, she hosted a cruise for her new company called L.I.F.E. with Vicki. HA. It REALLY stands for lunatic in fugly earrings.

Vicki’s cruise was basically a nightmare at sea. It was 8 hours in an ugly cruise ship conference room with Vicki talking about how she became a huge success by selling life insurance. Yeah, bitch is the Ron Popeil of the dead money business. I’m surprised the boat didn’t fucking sink from her one hundred ton ego. The next time that bitch has a cruise, I am totally there. Not because I actually care about life insurance, but because getting drunk and watching Vicki possibly eat the floor will make my life’s dream come true.

The fifth housewife, Tamra, traveled to Iowa with her rapey-eyed son to visit her estranged daddy. Tamra really brought out the raw emotion while bonding with her daddy, but unfortunately for her, the spotlight was stolen by Cousin Nancy. This bitch is so fucking sophisticated that I could smell Kools and White Shoulders wafting off of her and through my screen. Somehow, Cousin Nancy was able to pry herself away from her usual hooking spot at the truck stop to join everyone for dinner. Rapey Ryan immediately attached himself to her. He was practically dropping GHB into her mouth with his eyes. And she was dropping them right back.

Ryan knew he was no match for Cousin Nancy in the creepy as fuck department when she told him she had a mouse. When they couldn’t find it, she grinned and said, “pussy must have ate it.” Signed, sealed, delivered! Throw this bitch on the back of a semi-truck headed for the O.C. This fine lady neeeeeeds to be the next housewife. Seriously, if only you could bottle elegance like this. Clip below:

If you’re a straight bitch and you suddenly have an intense craving for the genitals of the same sex, just look away from this picture and your symptoms will go away.

Anygay, Sway over at MTV asked Kanye West about this pussy puckering picture taken during Paris fashion week.

Kanye explained it all. It’s not in CAPS, so those of you who finally became fluent in Kanyeism, may have trouble reading it. It doesn’t feel like Kanye if he’s not breaking his MacBook Air over it.

I’m gonna tell you something about the Paris pic. They was like, some of the people dressed in the outfits, I didn’t check out everybody’s outfit that hopped in the picture with me — I can’t be completely responsible. You go right into my outfit, my outfit is good.

Let me tell you another thing about … I’m doing a blog right now where I’ve been collecting all of the freshest stuff that’s rainbows — Denver Nuggets jerseys, BAPE shoes, Nikes with rainbows on ’em — and saying, “Man I think as straight men we need to take the rainbow back because it’s fresh.” It looks fresh. I just think that because stereotypically gay people got such good like style that they were smart enough to take a fresh-ass logo like the rainbow and say that it’s gonna be theirs. But I was like “Man I think we need to have the rainbow” — the idea of colors , life and colors and stuff, I mean how is that a gay thing? Colors? Having a lot of colors is gay?

Kanye can’t take the rainbow. He’s going to have to rip out of my cold, hard ass lips. And just when he thinks he has it, sparkly unicorns are going to gallop out of my ass and bite at him. This will be pretty easy since glittery pink fairies will also fly out and hold Kanye down. The rainbow fucking stays.

But seriously, what in BENJAMIN BUTTON’S RAINBOW hell is this bitch talking about? Oh, how I just want to skip into Kanye’s brain and spend one day there. It’s like a funhouse of pure fuckery!