Something To Cleanse The Pallet With

/ February 16, 2009

After stinging your precious eyes with the pair of cokey snails in the post below, I thought I’d give you a pallet cleanser: HARVEY! Harvey truly is the sunshine. He’s like a Care Bear! One picture of Harvey is the equivalent of 12 hours of watching the Shiba Inu 6 (never forget). Harvey’s smile is so bright and shiny that he made Katie Price’s shirt see-through! And Junior Andre didn’t have highlights before, but when Harvey got all smiley, his hair was suddenly covered in bits of sunshine!

Here’s Katie Price wearing a Rock of Love Bang Bus-approved outfit while out with Care Harvey, Princess Tiamamamaiamaimai, Big Gay Peter Andre and Junior in Malibu yesterday. Oh and those aren’t stains on Harvey’s clothes! The heavens cried when they saw him, so those are the globby tears of angels!

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Charlie’s Zombies

/ February 16, 2009

I have been feeling like the bottom of a cat litter box today, but now I feel like a fresh Mother’s cookie after seeing this picture. At least I look like I can breathe oxygen without the help of a tank.

Fuck damn these bitches look beat. And the ho on the left isn’t SamRo after hitting puberty. It’s designer Matthew Williamson at the opening of his new store in NYC.

They should hang this picture up in schools to promote staying off the bad shit and eating vegetables instead.

I don’t know who looks more haggard: HoHan or Chupa Zoe? I mean, HoHan looks like she crawled out of an OxyContin bottle. And Chupa looks like she can’t chew solid foods. If you sprinkled salt over them, they’d shrivel down even more. Somebody needs to hook them up to an Ensure drip.

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Open Post: Hosted By Sugartits’ Old Timey Face Pubes

/ February 16, 2009

Colonel Sanders phoned in from heaven and is requesting his face pubes back!!

Why does Mel Gibson look like he’s going to kidnap you and tie you to some train tracks? This beat bitch is just missing a top hat, a cape and a stick of dynamite in his hands. This is some Deadwood shit!

And it’s funny that for someone who is a Jesusloonie, Mel looks like he’s been using Satan’s barber.

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Spot The Cheetoling!

/ February 16, 2009

One of these things is made of wax and the other is made of Cheetos. One lights up with the help of a wick and the other lights up with the help of a Lexapro-infused Frapp! Okay, enough of that. Brit Brit has a new wax figure and that shit is pretty much the real thing. Same pan-fried weave, same Krispy Kreme-glazed eyes and matching Chiclet teefs! They can probably have a really deep and meaningful conversation together about how Pop Rocks should really make lube.

The wax figure just needs a generous sprinkling of Cheeto dust. Also, if they could make that shit wet fart chipped beef, then it would be Brit Brit’s clone! Seriously, Brit should take the rest of the year off and send her wax figure out on tour instead. Just put that thing on stage, slap a face mic on it and nobody will know the difference.

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Keep Courtney Love Away From This Bitch

/ February 16, 2009

Because she’ll do it again!

Jared Leto strolled into the Calvin Klein show in NYC looking like a glass of Cobain with a splash of Brad Pitt circa Legend of the Fall and a sprinkle of JT Leroy. Bitch needs to stop fighting the hot and wash away the peroxide to uncover the Jordan Catalano beneath all that shit. The Jordan Catalano we all tickled our nipples to.

And you know Kanye West really thought he was posing with Kurt Cobain. Kanye is so GREAT that Kurt Cobain will rise from the dead just to pose with the voice of this generation. We won’t burst his ego bubble. We’ll let Kanye be great!

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Morning Wood

/ February 16, 2009

Dancing with the ‘Ginas: PBS now stands for the Pussy Broadcasting System (Clip above is NSFWish) – Videogum

Adrien Brody goes for a walk, and yes, I’m excited about this – ICYDK

That’s what David Cook gets for singing “Hot For Teacher”SOW

At this point, Patrick Swayze can smoke whatever the hell he wants – Socialite Life

George Clooney probably has a Clive Owen-shaped dildo – Celebitchy

Papa Joe doesn’t miss a beat – I’m Not Obsessed

Sisterhood of the bull dozer vagina – Holy Moly!

Japan is the land of amazing – Boing Boing

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