Birthday Sluts

/ February 22, 2009

Thomas Jane (40)
Liza Huber (34)
Drew Barrymore (34)
Lea Salonga (38)
Hans Klok (40)
Clinton Kelly (40)
Jeri Ryan (41)
Rachel Dratch (43)
Kyle MacLachlan (50)
Ellen Greene (58)
Julie Walters (59)
Julius Erving (59)
Jonathan Demme (65)
Ted Kennedy (77)
Marni Nixon (79)
James Hong (80)
Don Pardo (91)

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This Bitch…

/ February 21, 2009

What the fuck does Jennifer Love Hewitt have against Audrey Hepburn? What I ask?! JLove already did Audrey wrong by making that soul-killing unintentional TV comedy The Audrey Hepburn Story. And now the ho pulls this fuckery?! Bitch actually had the audacity to dress up as Holly Golightly and reenact the opening scene of Breakfast at Tiffany’s in Beverly Hills this morning. JLove is more like Holly Gothefuckawayalready.

JLove’s delusional ass said she did it to celebrate her 30th birthday. Yeah, I don’t get this shit either. Did this fucktard not get any lollipops or hugs as a child? This shit is not cute.

Audrey should float down from heaven and slap this twat in the mouth. Enough is enough!

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Tell Me Something I Don’t Know

/ February 21, 2009

When this picture of the two possum pussies known as Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus came out in Vanity Fair, whores (including me) gave the side-eye, because they looked a little toooo close. It’s sprinkled with just a bit of “Incest is a game a whole family play” flavor.

In her new memoir Miles to Go (BARF), 16-year-old Miley addressed the H8RS who think her relationship with her daddy is filed under: Creepy McCreepster. Oh and yeah, Miley has a fucking memoir out. No, it’s not in TXT form. No, it’s not just an article in Highlights. It’s an actual book being released in stores. Mr. Barnes and Mr. Nobles are weeping in their graves.

Miley writes (I need proof she can actually do that), “The media has said some stuff about my dad and me being too close and too cuddly for a father and a daughter. For me and my dad it’s not weird at all. we don’t let other people tell us what expressions we’re supposed to have on our faces when we take a picture together!”

The dumb bitch when on to whine that people who make fun of her are “so full of anger, hatred and bitterness.”

How did Miley get a hold of my medical records?! Anger, hatred and bitterness are the three things my doctor told me I was full of after getting my blood test results. I already know that! But I’d rather be full of those things than caca, chitterlings and Bill Ray’s……….. Okay, okay, I’ll stop right fucking there.

And here’s some pap pictures of Miley and her little sister at their house. No, I don’t think her sister is in an open-eyed coma. She’s just motherfucking miserable! Can you blame her?

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Work That Pole, Joel!

/ February 21, 2009

My shit is busted ass hungover today and this video is probably what the inside of my head looks like right now. It’s of a hot piece trying to bust sexy pole dancing moves in his scary basement room while wearing shorty shorts, a sleeveless t-shirt and serial killer glasses.

Something tells me this is not the scariest thing those basement walls have seen.

Daddy Joel practices down below and then uploads this shit on YouTube for all of us to cream our panties too. Joel is seriously ready to take his shit on the road. The whores of Rock of Love Bus wish they had these natural skills.

Unfortunately, the sexy times gets cut short because Joel’s wife calls him up for dinner. Ironically, they had honey and biscuits. Honey and biscuits is also what he’s giving us on that pole.

And if you can’t get enough of Pole Joel, check out the comments in this video. I laugh, I cried, I jizzed.

VIA Videogum

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ February 21, 2009

Reann Ballslee – The drag queen who was crowned homecoming queen at George Mason University. Reann’s real name is Ryan Allen and the students voted his ass as their top queen over two two chicks. Ryan, who performs as Reann at clubs and shit, said he entered mainly as joke and didn’t think he would ever get the crown in the end. Some students couldn’t be happier and some are pissed off, because they said it makes their school look like a joke. Oh, please. It makes their school look fucking hot. Bitches need to tuck it and shut it.

Below is a clip of Ryan talking about his victory to MSNBC. Bitch is a hot dude and a hot a chick, but he kind of needs a new wig. He should ring up Briana Bond and ask her where she bought her gorgeous merlot lifesaver wig.

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Birthday Sluts

/ February 21, 2009

Rue McClanahan (75)
Corbin Bleu (20)
Ellen Page (22)
Charlotte Church (23)
Brendan Sexton III (29)
Jennifer Love Hewitt (30)
William Baldwin (46)
Chuck Palahniuk (47)
Christopher Atkins (48)
Mary Chapin Carpenter (51)
Kelsey Grammer (54)
William Petersen (56)
Christine Ebersole (56)
Tyne Daly (63)
Alan Rickman (63)
David Geffen (66)

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