I Will NEVER Forgive Her!

/ July 13, 2007
 
Somebody keep Kate Moss away from me, because if I ever see her ass I will slap that snaggle tooth right out of her mouth and send her the bill! I know she's all heartbroken and shit, but how DARE she burn up Dreamboat Pete Doherty's love poems. That selfish bitch should've send that shit to me!
 
A source told The Sun , "'Kate gathered quite a collection of Pete's ramblings over the two years. He used the lyrics from his song 'What Katie Did' – which was written about a totally different Kate – to pull her in the first place. It continued throughout the relationship. She has piles of love letters, poems, songs and paintings. Now Kate has decided to cleanse herself of him by burning the lot. It all stinks a bit of a high school break-up.'"
 
THAT SKANK ASS WHORE! Those things may mean nothing to her, but they would mean everything to me. Everything. I would sleep with them, bathe with them and probably get some strange jungle disease from them, but who gives a fuck?! Pete is my world. Ok, I'm done.
 
 
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Big Ginger

/ July 13, 2007
 
Prince Harry's army pals have nicknamed him "Ginger Bullet Magnet" and even bought themselves red wing so the enemies would have a hard time figuring out which one's Harry. The Prince's chick has even started calling him "Big Ginger."
 
How sweet. Speaking of red wings. Do you think Harry has earned his. UGH! Why the hell do I keep grossing myself out. If you don't know what "red wings" are….you don't want to know!
 
 
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Tom Cruise Will Kill Armistead Maupin

/ July 13, 2007
 
Armistead Maupin is the author of the extremely homo books "Tales of the City" and according to Holy Moly! gave his theory on closeted gay actors in Hollywood at a book signing in London.
 
Armi said:
 
"…of course the Church of Scientology comes in very handy. (huge laugh from audience) It's the biggest ex gay movement in America. They catch you when you're young and confused, tell you they'll look after you, even provide you with a wife and child… Then of course you have to do what they call an audit, where you confess everything you've ever done into a tape recorder, so they've got the tapes. So once you're famous and successful you have to go along with all their nonsense about people falling into volcanoes… (pause)… then you play a woman in a movie musical, a part created by a drag queen and written by a gay man…"
 
You know Johnny and Tommy have sent their alien minions after Armi. I won't be surprised if next week Armi is married to a pregnant woman and writing books about aliens.
 
 
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