Last Thursday in Atlanta, business woman and road kill wig hater, Lisa Wu Hartwell of The Really Broke Housewives of Atlanta, sued her ex-husband Keith Sweat for full custody for their two little kiddies. Lisa also wants some child support. Keith, how deep is your love and your wallet?

Access Atlanta says that the court papers filed by Business Woman state, “The best interest of the minor children will be served by modifying the current custody and visitation provisions to make Mother the primary physical condition of the minor children. Since the time of the Divorce Decree, Mother has remarried, owns a successful business and will provide a stable, loving, and nurturing environment in which she can raise the minor children. Mother seeks primary physical custody and joint legal custody with final decision-making on all issues regarding the minor children. She will reasonably engage Father in good faith discussions before any final decisions are made concerning the children’s welfare.”

Keith got full custody in 2003, because according to the judge the children “lacked structure in their lives, due in substantial part to Mother’s numerous business ventures and frequent trips out of town … Mother has a history of spending money on herself excessively rather than providing for the children … There was some evidence at trial that Mother implicitly participated in robbing Father in the presence of the children. She also took money from Father prior to the initiation of this matter. This behavior causes the Court to question Mother’s maturity and judgment.”

The court’s question will be answered 100% if they just watch the first season of that shit show.

Lisa and Keith’s kids didn’t take part in the first season of Broke Housewives, because he wouldn’t sign off on it. So I know what Lisa’s doing here. Bitch is a business woman and business comes first. Obviously, if she has control over the kids, she can sign them up for season 2! That means 2 extra paychecks in the house. I mean, she’s a business woman.

Which actor snorted cocaine in the bathroom during an Oscar after-party, while a slimmed-down stoner actor smoked pot outside with his pals? (Page Six)

It sounds like the only reason to go to the Oscars is for available drugs. My guesses are Sean Peen and Seth Rogen?

Which billionaire’s son is a scary misogynist? When women balk at his less-than-gentlemanly pickup lines, he calls them bitches and shouts a threat or two. (Gatecrasher)

Threats and names always get me on all fours in the alley way. I’m going to guess Greasy Bear, but is his family even worth more than an Arby’s coupon anymore?

Which Hollywood actress kept the ceremony seat warmer unusually busy with her frequent trips to the loo to “powder her nose”? The poor man kept having to hop into her seat during every ad break. (3am Girls)

This pains me because premiere seat warmer Phoebe Price should have had that job! And my official guess is Sophia Loren? Hah.

Which married Oscar nominee has been cheating on his wife with a hard-partying starlet? (Gatecrasher)

Peen and Blohan? Exhibit a

Which rehabbed D-lister doesn’t learn? The bad boy was spotted driving while drinking beers recently. (NYDN)

Spaghetti Cat? Stains? Andy Dick? Jesse Metcalfe? All of the above?

Image Source: Cute Overload (Thanks Jessie)

The OctoMommy reality show is coming down the crazy tube any day now and this is probably what it’s going to look like. RadarOnline shot a 30-minute showdown between Crazy Baby Lady and her tortured mommy in the living room of a rented house. This mess looks exactly like the fake backstage video confrontations on Maury. This whole video is like watching a slow-moving trainwreck. In fact, you hope a train comes barreling through the back window. Well, a train or a crazy people-collecting paddy wagon.

OctoMommy flips her Wesson-injected lips when her mom, Angela, criticizes her for having 8 IVF babehs. OctoMommy screams at her mom, “I’m not going to destroy the embryos, period. Done, done, done. You can’t go back and alter the past.” When Angela tells her that she didn’t have to do anything with the frozen embryos, Crazy Baby Lady responds, “They were lives. You either use them or destroy them.”

Radar posted the first part yesterday. Above is just a clip from Today. Watching this cuckoo party confirms to me that OctoMommy needs a warm hug. A warm hug from a fucking straitjacket! Bitch deserves her own reality show alright. A reality show shot in a loony bin.

Angela doesn’t need this shit! Bitch should just grab a roll of Bounty and run away to Reno to become a Rosie the Waitress impersonator. Actually, Angela’s probably driving the Crazy Choo Choo train. The lunatic gene is alive and well in the Suleman family.

The Willy Warmer looks like something out of The Muppets, but this peen cover is not for children. It also kind of looks like Vadge’s sascrotch. – Buzzfeed

Charles Barkley is going to the clink where he can get a blow job in peace! – Celebitchy

Natalie Portman might be frolicking in the unicorn forest soon – I’m Not Obsessed

We’ve already seen Kate Winslet nekkid. Plenty. – Socialite Life

Surprisingly, the Jonas Brothers #1 fan didn’t melt into a panty pudding puddle – SOW

Martha Stewart’s pansy ass weed show – Popbytes

Ed Westwick is wearing your pepaw’s old velour tracksuit – Pink is the New Blog

George Clooney wants Obama NOW! – Holy Moly!

Courtney Love is looking beat – ICYDK

Mickey Rourke may have lost the top prize on Sunday, but he will get an Oscar of his very own to terrorize with his face that only Loki can love. That’s because he’s apparently going to adopt a chihuahua and name him Oscar. Mickey is still burning his face with tears over Loki, so he’s hoping to mend the broken piece of his heart a little by getting another dog friend.

A source tells Radar, “Mickey has other dogs but he misses Loki terribly. He doesn’t want to wait long either – he wants to get his new pooch this week. The new dog won’t replace Loki but by naming it Oscar Mickey says he’ll make his comeback year even more special.”

We were totally ripped off on Sunday, because we didn’t get a rambling Rourke rant. Methinks the FCC had something to do with that shit! Because of that, when Mickey gets his new Oscar, he better hold some kind of press conference and give us the speech we’ve all been waiting (and boozing) for!

Also, I hope Mickey adopts a needy chihuahua from one from the worst pet dungeons in the world: Parasite Hilton’s house.

Evan Rachel Wood’s transformation into Dita Von Teese was on pause since November, but you can hit the play button again, but bitches are saying she’s back to licking on Marilyn Manson’s decapitated worm peen.

Page Six says that Marilyn came out of the W Hotel Sunday morning and told a bitch “he was waiting for his girlfriend.” A quick minute later, Evan came out and the two got into a car and drove off to GROSSville.

I guess by this time tomorrow, Evan will be black-haired and red-lipped again. You can find her ass splashing around in a giant busted martini glass with rhinestone pasties on her nipples. Ugh.

If Evan wants to cause shame to her vag, then that’s her thing. Bitch’s snatch was just learning to smile again and now she’s pulled this! Evan, your vagina isn’t creaming in pleasure. It’s fucking crying tears of pain because it has to kiss Marilyn’s corroded cock creature again.

Personally, I’d rather get butt fucked by a plugged-in power strip than let Marilyn hit this.