While going through pictures of Christina Ricci and her colossal fiance strolling through Los Angeles, my eyes started flickering and automatically gazed upon the luscious beauty behind them stealing the shot. Be still my heart! Christina Ricci is thinking she got this picture, but little does she know that the scene was stolen by a hot piece with an afro bigger than her whole body! Afro lady is taking us higher! Sorry, Ricci. You could never compete with glamour like that.

Anyway, here’s the Jolly Green Giant and Little Green Sprout leaving Arc Light Cinemas yesterday foolishly thinking they are the stars of the minute. NOT.

The pic of Peter Andre with another inflated whore pushed Jordan over the edge . – El Bastardo

Runners-up:

Puff the Tragic Dragon – Starvis

Considering his last gf was a balloon animal, this is a step up. – The C Word

Baby Jesus is still too young to tell the difference between the real Vadge and her lifeless stand-in. – Sam

Thanks Sio

Karta, a 27-year-old 137-pound Orangutan who escaped from the Adelaide zoo in Australia – This clever ho right here caused the zoo to evacuate after she almost busted out of that bitch! Karta stabbed a stick into the wires surrounding her enclosure causing a short circuit which allowed her to go near a glass fence that kept her from the public. The MacGyver of monkeys then built a makeshift ladder using sticks, grass and plant roots. Just when Karta was just about to jump over the wall, zoo officials rang the alarm and homegirl realized what she was doing. She had a moment of clarity and realized her dream of running away to the big city to become a stripper wasn’t going to happen. Karta dropped back into her enclosure. The zoo remains closed until officials secure Karta’s enclosure. A zoo official said, ”She’s an ingenious animal.” That’s an understatement! Don’t worry, bitch’s day of sweet freedom will come. She’s probably building a helicopter out of rocks, banana peels and worms right now.

Source (For Dish)

Kim Fields (40)
Jason Biggs (31)
Malin Ackerman (31)
Mackenzie Astin (36)
Christian Campbell (37)
Jamie Luner (38)
Samantha Mathis (39)
Tony Hawk (41)
Catherine Tate (41)
Stephen Baldwin (43)
Deborah Kara Unger (46)
Vanessa “Melrose Place” Williams (46)
Emilio Estevez (47)
Ving Rhames (50)
Gabriel Byrne (59)
Billy Squier (59)
Steve Windwood (61)
Burt Bacharach (81)
Yogi Berra (84)

Kelly Clarkson performed at KIIS-FM’s Wango Tango in Los Angeles this weekend looking like crusty Meat Loaf with extra bread crumbs. She’s even got a pinch of Cojo in the face. Maybe right before her performance she walked in on Gaycrest waxing his glitter hole and she never fully recovered from that sight. I don’t know. But I do know that Kelly needs to pour Adderall dust over those jeans and feed them to Paula Abdul STAT. Those jeans shouldn’t have made it out of 1997 alive.

And I’m mad at Kelly right now because that “My Life Would Suck Without Fooood” song has become a regular part of my nightly dreams. That’s not the first thing I want to be humming when I wake up in the morning. The first thing I want to be humming on is a…. Okay, I’ll stop.

Marty Ingles needs to stop! He’s running around telling Page Six that his 75-year-old wife, Shirley Jones, might bare her partridges and prunes in Playboy! Marty, who may or might not have the seniles, said, “She’s still drop-dead gorgeous, and at the age of 75, a natural beauty. I’m her husband, and I think it would be sensational. Mature women are relevant.”

If Shirley decides to pose in Playboy, she’d be the oldest piece to ever get nekkid in the magazine.

Marty is not right for trying to whore Shirley out to Playboy! Shirley should be making oatmeal cookies for her grandkids, not spreading hers in a magazine! And she’ll always be more relevant than 99% of the young twats in Hollywood.

If anybody in that family should be getting all their panties off for a magazine, it should be Marty. You know you want to see his shriveled worm in all its glory. Come on get happy (without Viagra), Marty!