Gay Fish To Gay Wolf

/ June 3, 2009

When the unofficial version of The Lord of CAPS’ Paranoidleaked last week, his tittays got all sweaty, because he was upset that the world was not seeing the real version of his masterpiece. Well, here it is now. Just the way God (Kanye) intended!

It’s actually the same except for some floating words and Kanye West as a werewolf who is thirsty for tenheads. Speaking of, RiRi tries to bring out the raw emotion in this and comes out dry. Just the other night I was telling my friend that I would kick my own crotch bone to see Alien Princess RiRi in a one-woman remake of Purple Rain as The Kid, Morris and Apollonia. After watching her try to act in this, I am 100% sure that Purple Rain should be her next project! RiRi has the shitty acting skills needed to recreate the magic!

VIA Kanye’s Blog

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Live Free Or Die!

/ June 3, 2009

The Governor of New Hampshire signed a bill tonight making it legal for same-sex couples to handcuff themselves to each other. Just like everyone else! New Hampshire is now the 6th state in the country that allows gays and gayelles to get married!!! And on Anderson Cooper’s birthday nonetheless! I just thought I’d add that since every time a state legalizes gay marriage, I automatically think of Mah Boo whisking me off to that state to make an honest homo out of me. We’ll have a Lolita-themed wedding in New Hampshire. Those heart-shaped sunglasses will look extra precious on him.

And now my eyes are on you, New York. Once you snap your fingers and make it happen, the most beautiful wedding the world has ever seen can finally take place. I’ve already got my flower girl outfit ready. It’s made out of flannel, Bugle Boy khakis, faux red fern leaves and ginger weave hair.

Source: The New York Times

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Here Comes The Bride….And Her Big Ass

/ June 3, 2009

The Tush and The Bush are engaged to be married! That’s what a rep for Kim Kardassian told Star Magazine. No word on when the wedding is. No word on when the baby is due either. SHUT UP! I know. That’s the first thing I thought when I read that shit. Then I thought about how that fetus is going to be one lucky mofo. Obviously, Kim’s womb will be his main home, but if he wants he can buy a timeshare in her ass. That way he has like a weekend place to chill out at. That fetus will be a jet setter before it’s even born! From womb to ass to womb to life!

And Kim doesn’t even have to worry about one of those ring bearing brats effing her wedding! She can carry the ring pillow on her ass! It’s better that way. I’ve been to so many wedding where the ring bearer drops the ring. Everybody laughs, but you know the bride is thinking, “This little bitch is ruining my day.” This won’t happen to Kim, because she could balance a ping pong ball on her ass. And I’m sure she has in Tijuana.

Also, when Kim walks down the aisle, this will be the first time in history where the caboose actually leads the train.

UPDATE: Bitch ain’t engaged. She wrote this on her blog, “I am not engaged!!! My new publicist was talking with Star Magazine earlier today and accidentally referred to Reggie as my fiance so they posted the news on their website! There have been so many rumors flying around recently about Reggie and I being engaged that she assumed we were! So, sorry Star Magazine for ruining your exclusive! It’s totally my publicist’s fault haha.”

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Afternoon Crumbs

/ June 3, 2009

Burnt pussay! But at least she wore a helmet – Cityrag

More pictures of Professor Whoreface in GQ BritainEgotastic!

Fug in UggsHollywood Tuna

If it was the DVD, then they really would have had to call in the bomb squad – Towleroad

After this picture was taken, Kelly Clarkson ate the camera – Just Jared

To caca or not to caca: Another fucking Hamlet movie – Lainey Gossip

I’m sure David Duchovny gets all the vagina with those sexy socks – Popsugar

Katie Price wearing one of Harvey’s shirts (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Didn’t Zac Efron already play a girl in High School Musical? – Hollywood Rag

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You Could Crack A Cherry Pit With Those Thighs

/ June 3, 2009

Please stand and clap with your ass cheeks for the newest member of The Glittery Gays of YouTube Club: Joe Jonas! Joe stuffed his purity balls and nut busting thighs of wonder into a leotard to stumble through Sasha Fierce’s Single Ladies.” Yes, that meme was sent down to the basement with Solange a long time ago, but it’s still mildly entertaining to watch Joe try not to be too queeny while wearing high heels. But I’m not sure if it works, because this is still making my no-no lick its lips. Yes, it has tongue, Yes, I have seen a specialist about this. Yes, it’s doing that because of Joe Jonas’…..THIGHS. THIGHS. THIGHS. Thighs that could break your rib cage with one squeeze. Swoo-oon.

And you know Joe is totally holding back. Bitch knows the dance! He’s just pretending like he doesn’t. Come on, drop it like I know you can.

VIA ONTD

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Kimora & Djimon’s Baby Friend Has A Name

/ June 3, 2009

My eyes were hoping to read that “Rhynstone Sara Lee Hounsou” is the name of Kimodo Dragon’s baby, but she has disappointed me. Kimora and Djimon actually gave their baby a cute name (or maybe I’ve had too much Sanka this afternoon). Page Six says their 4-day-old son has been named Kenzo Lee Hounsou.

They named him after fashion designer Kenzo Takada. Kenzo is Kimodo’s third kid. She has two daughters with Russell Simmons, Ming Lee and Aoki Lee.

Kenzo, Ming and Aoki? Get out the spandex, alert Hello Kitty and roll out the synthesizer, because they will soon be the world’s newest J-Pop sensation.

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