Whitney Houston’s got a new album and Bobby Brown’s got a new baby! I think we’re supposed to do the doody bubble boogie for the first one and cry for the second one. Let’s cuddle up to Whitney first:

KISS MY ASS’ first album of music in seven years will be released on September 1st. That’s all the information that the studio released. They didn’t give up a title or say how many tracks she sang while on the wrong stuff. JOKES! As far as I know, Whitney has ended her long affair with the pipe. However, I think she’s still kissing on Ray-J’s deformed dick, so I’m not sure which is worse. Ponder for a second.

Now on to Bobby Beeeeeeeeee! While leaving a night club in Las Vegas last night, Bobby told TMZ that he’s a father for the fifth time! Bobby’s manager/fuck time partner gave birth to their son, Cassius, a few days ago.

That’s nice and everything, but when are Whit & Bobby B going to get to work on the project everybody has been waiting for: Season 2 of Being Bobby Brown! Doody bubbles have been waiting to be popped! Just look at this remix FourFour did of the show. I know Whit & Bobby B aren’t knocking it anymore, but the world of reality TV is depending on them to reunite for more fuckery. They really don’t make ’em like this anymore.

Conan took over The Tonight Show earlier this week (or maybe last week) and I haven’t seen him yet, but I have to tune in tonight just to see his set at work. Anybody who uses Super Mario Bros. as their inspiration for anything is gold in my book. I’m assuming that this is intentional. It has to be. I think. I hope.

And when it comes time to redo his set I hope Conan somehow pays homage to the greatest video game of my childhood, OUTRUN:

That blonde slut in the passenger seat was one of my earlier female idols.

Source: Serious Lunch VIA ONTD

The people have spoken and named Kate Gosselin’s fried beaver hair as the current Hot Slut of the Month! Kate’s dykey ‘do will represent the month of May at the Hot Sloooot of the Year pageant in January. It will be asked about its stance on gay marriage, so it better be ready.

Thanks to all of you who took time out from touching your private places to vote!

Here’s some pictures of our reigning HSOTM on top of that lady’s head in North Carolina yesterday. I think that lady is trying to steal that baby friend. She’s got problems.

WHAT?! Where will I get my morning dose of antioxidants now that a judge ruled that Crunchberries are not real berries?! It looks like I’ll have to pour a little Smirnoff Blueberry Twist in my coffee – CDAN

Ciara is busting her snatch to sell albums. Literally. – Hollywood Tuna

Timbs and a Flannel: Ben Affleck is wearing an outfit fit for Rojo Caliente – Popsugar

Eva Longwhoria is in a bikini. Try not to jump all at once – Egotastic!

Beth Ditto or Jackie Beat (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Is Gabriel Aubry’s peen the fountain of youth, because Halle Berry doesn’t age – Just Jared

Dreams do come true: I will marry Mah Boo Sim – Towleroad

Cameron Diaz’s face is free of pizza toppings in Marie Claire – Popoholic

Nicole Kidman donates to the Goodwill….. for a movie – Lainey Gossip

No, Megan Fox, I think people are looking at you like that because you shit through your mouth too much- Hollywood Rag

Activities you can do with your bong: Test your stoner movie trivia – Cityrag

This is a clip of Dixie Carter doing “The Lion” pose on her yoga video (???) from the early 90s. This is some Exorcist shit! You just want to throw some holy water on her ass and call a priest! Although, I can’t make fun of Dixie too much, because this pose could also be called “Michael K on a First Date.”

VIA That’s Important!