Happy National Donut Day! In honor of this delicious holiday, both Dunkin’ Donuts and Krispy Kreme are giving out free donuts. Well, the cheap fucks at DD will make you buy a small drink to get one, but still! You better skedaddle your ass over there before Kristie Alley shows up. RRUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! And save a few to make scrumptious donut daiquiris later.

Most of these pictures are tilted, because the pap fell over in shock after gazing his eyes upon the fuggery on Drew Barrymore’s body! Who in the what in the where?! Homegirl looks like Grunge 90s Pillow Person. Is there such thing as a Clothestime outlet, because that’s the only place I can think of where Drew got this fugsemble. Well, unless Donna Martin had a yard sale.

This is some shit I would’ve pulled in junior high school (laugh all you want!). I would’ve taken straps from an old backpack, glued them to an Ikea bed sheet, slipped it over torn jeans, put on my Docs and busted out the door thinking I looked like THE SHIT. When in fact I really just looked like shit.

Here’s Drew single-handedly killing the 90s while out with The Mac Dude in Hollywood last night.

David Carradine was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room yesterday morning and it was assumed by the media that he committed suicide. But now Thai police believe that his death was accidental, because he was found with a yellow nylon rope tied around his neck and genitals. Flashes of Michael Hutchence dance around me….

They have conducted an autopsy today, but results won’t be released for at least three weeks.

Meanwhile, David’s manager and family members are speaking to the press. David’s manager, Chuck Binder, doesn’t think he took his own life and he also doesn’t believe his death was an accident. Chuck is crying foul play! Chuck told TMZ that David’s hands were tied behind his back.

Chuck added that they believe something in the milk ain’t clean, because the hotel has been taking their sweet time with turning evidence over to the police. The police requested to see surveillance videos of the hallways and lobby, but the hotel hasn’t coughed up ’em yet. And the investigation continues….

“These bitches have no idea what I’ve been through!” – Gawker

Stand by your drunkcheating maaaaaaan: The Diane Lane edition – Celebitchy

In today’s “Jennifer Aniston is drunk texting exes” news – ICYDK

Liam Gallagher’s raging ego must have short-circuited the board – Holy Moly!

Kelly Clarkson is tired of the fat jokes! (since we’re all made of evil insert your fat joke here) – Yahoo’s OMG!

Asshole Simpson is drunk, pregnant and angry. Yup, she’s related to Papa Joe – Scandalist

Doesn’t Oprah know that her word is the bible to some crazy fanhos? – I’m Not Obsessed

Sandra Bullock is going to be single soon, because no mortal man can resists the charms of Betty White – Socialite Life

Susan Boyle checked into the Priory clinic five days ago for “exhaustion.” Side note: When I told my mother about this, the first thing she said was, “Lipo and facelift.” Deadpan. Anyvaze, SuBo got enough zzzzzs and ate enough Jello, because she’s back out in the wild!

Su’s brother says that she’s completely herself again after pretty much losing it a week ago. Gerry Boyle told GMTV (via The Sun), “She’s much happier. She’s seems a lot more like herself. Things are becoming clearer for her now. She’s now beginning to believe that, ‘yes indeed, I will be a singer’.”

Even though Susan isn’t about to shave her head anytime soon, she’s still laying low. Susan is resting up in a secret place. Phew. I hope Pebbles the cat is with her, because he’s the only one who understands her. They can have a meow, so Pebbles can calm her down.

In other news, Diversity just entered an undisclosed safe house.

Denise Richards was on Howard Stern’s Sirius show yesterday and he asked her the obligatory question: “Are your breasts real?” This ho was married to Charlie Sheen. Charlie won’t fuck with a trick unless she’s got silicone marinating in her chesticle area. The truest thing you’ll hear all hour.

Denise admitted to Howard that her buh-bees had been touched by a surgeon’s knife three times. Once, twice, three time fake titties….

Denise said, “Um, natural on outside, on the inside they are not. I was 19, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done. I was flat as a board, and I thought, ‘Whoa, you can just buy them,’ and stupidly had them done!” Denise thought her new leased chichis were too big, so she went under again to get them downsized, “The next guy put bigger ones in, and it was not good — they were a D!”

She went in a third time and now she’s happy, “I was young and should have researched better. You know, it was a big mistake. Young girls, don’t do it!”

Okay, I know Denise isn’t the biggest anal bead on the string (that wasn’t supposed to make sense), but what the hell kind of GD garage plastic surgeon did she go to the second time?! She wanted smaller, but he gave her bigger?! Did he inject crystal soil jelly from the swap meet into her chichis too?!

I’m also going to take a wild guess when I say that Denise’s second booby surgeon is probably her current make-up artist and hairdresser. Here’s everyone’s favorite former pussy merchant out in NYC yesterday looking like Miss Piggy working the child beauty pageant circuit after a crash diet. This is not the look.