Birthday Sluts

/ January 15, 2019
Charo (68)
Dove Cameron (23)
Chris Warren, Jr. (29)
Skrillex (31)
Kelly Kelly (32)
Michael Seater (32)
Howie Day (38)
Pitbull (38)
Trent Ford (40)
Young Dro (40)
Eddie Cahill (41)
Jamie Clayton (41)


Rachel Roy (45)
Regina King (48)
Chad Lowe (51)
Lisa Lisa (52)
Adam Jones (54)
James Nesbitt (54)
Mario Van Peebles (62)
Andrea Martin (72)
Princess Michael of Kent (74)
Margaret O’Brien (82)
Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)
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Night Crumbs

/ January 14, 2019

The human equivalent of an over-filled Panama City Beach party bus sponsored by Jägermeister, The Gronk, flashed his little Gronk at reporters in the locker room after a game. Warning: The clip is blurrier than my eyesight after doing too many edibles and the dick-flashing lasts all of negative five seconds, so you may end up cursing the silver haired Tim Curry-looking reporter who is blocking your view while sticking your eyeballs to the screen in hopes of getting a clearer view. Keep a spatula (to pry your eyeballs off the screen) nearby, just in case  – OMG Blog

The entire main cast of Steven Spielberg’s West Side Story movie has been announced, and the bad news is that Rita Moreno isn’t playing all the roles like I wanted, but the good news is that Camila Cabello ain’t in it and people who can actually sing were cast – Vulture

Suki Waterhouse and Robert Pattinson are still a thing, and that’s great and everything, and what’s also great is that Kristen Stewart went down to a Goodwill and bought the kid clothes from 1987 I donated – Lainey Gossip 

Let’s please not even joke about Channing Tatum playing He-Man, unless He-Man spontaneously strips down to Pony in front of Castle Grayskull halfway through the movie – Towleroad

Oh, it’s nothing, just Bella Thorne getting sexy with a firetruck… – Drunken Stepfather

In surprising news, more than zero people actually went to see The Upside (working title: Does Nicole Kidman Really Need A Check This Bad?) this past weekend – Pajiba

My first guess was Scarlett Johansson, but then I scratched that, because this little girl doesn’t look Asian at all – SOW

Here’s Julianne Hough giving us something out of a G-rated, no-budget community theater production of Showgirls: The MusicalHollywood Tuna

As Cookie Dookie cackles with glee…. – Reality Tea

Never mind about that Dirty John lady, tell me more about that second coming of STAINS! –  Celebitchy

Pic: Instagram

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Kim Kardashian Defends Kanye For Supposedly Defending R. Kelly (UPDATE)

/ January 14, 2019

There are still a few episodes left of Surviving Surviving R. Kelly, the reality show we’re currently living where artists who’ve worked with R. Kelly try to distance themselves from him. The last episode with Lady Gaga was kind of bullshit, and today’s episode starring Kanye West and Kim Kardashian is even worse. And Celine Dion being in it didn’t really help all that much either. Not even the Greatest Singer In Da World could save this shit show! According to Complex, Kanye was performing at a Sunday Service event where he sat on a stool and mumbled some shit while a choir sang a few of his songs. During one of the mumbling bits, Kanye made some observations about separating the art from the artist, indirectly alluding to R. Kelly and Michael Jackson.

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A Teen In Utah Did The #BirdBoxChallenge And Crashed A Car

/ January 14, 2019

You would think after YouTube douche Jake Paul came under scrutiny for uploading a video of his dumbass doing the ultra dangerous #BirdBoxChallenge last week people would kindly have several seats and find their thrills in other, healthier ways. However, this is 2019 and idiots are everywhere, so let’s jump right into the story of a 17-year-old who didn’t get the memo from Netflix and almost killed someone while driving blindfolded.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For The Fyre Festival Documentary

/ January 14, 2019

Two years ago, total moron Billy McFarland realized there were even bigger total morons out there who likely wouldn’t bat an eye at giving him thousands to spend a weekend at an entire island of total morons (also called “influencers”) and the promise of hearing acts like Blink-182. Billy somehow got Ja Rule to partner with him on the so-called Fyre Festival, a music festival that was going to take place on an island Billy said was once owned by Pablo Escobar and was promoted by the likes of Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, and Hailey Baldwin. While one would think most people would see something with Kendall “This Pepsi will save the world” Jenner attached and run in the opposite direction, Billy somehow got people to pony up as much as $25,000 for his concert weekend that was about as believable as me hosting the Oscars. Actually, that last bit is more believable.

Long story short: the “high-class experience” was more like “malaria-producing chic.” People got slapped with lawsuits, Blink-182 pulled out, and Billy got sentenced to jail. And now all that drama can be seen in an upcoming Hulu documentary.

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Millie Bobbie Brown Wants People To Stop Telling Her To Act Her Age

/ January 14, 2019

Drake’s best kid friend, Millie Bobby Brown, raised a few concerned eyebrows when she posted a picture of herself on Instagram wearing a very mature outfit. Some felt it was a bit too mature for a 14-year-old to be dressed like a hostess at SUR, even if it was just as a hostess at brunch service. But Millie doesn’t care what you think. She’s her own “woman” and will dress and do as she pleases. If you don’t like it, you can unfollow her. Only don’t actually do that, her dad probably wouldn’t like that. He’s got the family’s bottom line to think about. If you don’t like it, just don’t comment, ok?

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