Finally, a swimsuit issue cover we can all relate to! I mean, who of us hasn’t spent a vacation splashing around in the ocean in white bikini bottoms and Liberace’s motorcycle jacket?
Last week Page Six reported that Kate Upton might have screwed herself out of the cover of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition by demanding the cover, because she’s an actress now, which means she’s im-por-tant. It was rumored that there would be three covers, and that the other two were likely to go to Serena Williams and Christie Brinkley. Well, Sports Illustrated released this year’s Swimsuit Edition covers yesterday, and Kate got all three.
Because you want to see her finally swallow. – MyBananas
Upvote winners (it’s a tie!):
It’s sundae, I’m in love. – Tim Franklin
Please don’t fuck with my food. – BaconSlut
Pic: The Horny Nun
— Edmonton Journal (@edmontonjournal) February 10, 2017
This Canadian hero pussy was supposed to be HSOTD over the weekend, but then Ms. Constance happened, and then the Grammys and then VD, so today is the day when we finally pay tribute to the fluffy savior!
Marisa Berenson (70)
Zachary Gordon (19)
Maddie Baillio (21)
Greer Grammer (25)
Amber Riley (31)
Jenna Morasca (36)
Conor Oberst (37)
Brandon Boyd (41)
Miranda July (43)
Sarah Wynter (44)
Alex Borstein (46)
Renee O’Connor (46)
Gloria Trevi (49)
Jane Child (50)
Michael Easton (50)
Christopher McDonald (62)
Matt Groening (63)
Jane Seymour (66)
Melissa Manchester (66)
Pic: Vogue/Gianni Turilazzi/Pinterest
The full trailer for FX’s Feud is out and it already gets two snaps up from me, because it has one key ingredient that every good TV show or movie about a feud needs. It has a scene where the rivals throw each other bitchy faces in a vanity mirror (see: Showgirls) – Lainey Gossip
And just like that, both Rap and Steampunk joined hands and jumped into oncoming traffic – The Superficial
GG from Shahs of Sunset may have gotten married. That’s going to end well – Reality Tea
Solange tweeted and deleted words about Beyonce’s Album of the Year loss – Celebitchy
Playboy suddenly realized that nobody wants to see a Playboy without bare titties in it – Pajiba
French Vogue put a transgender model on the cover for the first time – Towleroad
I don’t know if a fan is blowing at Emma Watson or she just got electrocuted – Hollywood Tuna
Forget her nips, my brain is turning inside out while trying to figure out what is going on with Nicole Scherzinger’s dress thing – The Nip Slip
Today in “A Check Is A Check,” Xtina did an Oreo commercial – OMG Blog
Amanda Bynes is not getting married and she’s not knocked up and she’s not that person on Twitter who seems to have her private pics – Just Jared
It’s surprising that the seagull in the background didn’t mistake Bradley Cooper’s sad ponytail for a frazzled baby rat and try to eat it – Popsugar
Yes, Christina Hendricks’ magnificent chichis are still magnificent – IDLYITW
“No, no, I don’t” is what Jessa Duggar’s poor second kid, Henry Wilberforce, is going to say whenever somebody asks him if he has a middle name – People
Less than a month after it was reported that Alanis Morissette’s ex-manager had been stealing millions from her, another person has stolen from her. Damn, Alanis is starting to become one of the bad-luck examples she sings about in Ironic. Did an old carnival machine put a curse on her or something?
TMZ says that last Thursday, burglars broke into Alanis’ home in Brentwood, CA and went to town on her jewelry box. While Alanis wasn’t named by name, a police spokesperson confirmed today that a safe containing $2 million worth of jewelry was taken during the robbery. They also said that the bandits made off with other items or property, although it’s unclear what those other items are. No one was home at the time of the break-in.
As for how the burglars knew that Alanis’ house contained $2 million in jewelry, who even knows. Maybe they used specially-trained diamond-sniffing dogs or something. Or maybe they just follow Alanis on Instagram and thought “Those look nice, I think I’ll take all of them.”
About two weeks ago, Nicki Minaj’s house was broken into and $200,000 worth of jewelry and property was stolen.
The most surprising thing about this story is that Alanis Morissette had a $2 million jewelry collection. Alanis does not seem like the type. She seems more like the kind of person whose favorite piece of jewelry is a hand-carved wooden pendant of Gaia hanging from a string of hemp. I’m honestly shocked that the burglars didn’t pop open that safe and find a note that says “The greatest treasure is love.”