A Video Of Jennifer Lawrence Drunkenly Working A Stripper Pole Came Out And She Has Something To Say About It
Radar posted a “BOMBSHELL WORLD EXCLUSIVE” video today of Jennifer Lawrence crawling, hanging on some guy, taking off her top and working the pole while looking Lohan levels of wasted at a strip club. The video brought a slight shrug out of me, because Jennifer Lawrence is 26 years old. Who hasn’t been fall down, work-the-pole drunk at a strip club at the age of 26, and again at the age of 27, and 27 and-a-half, and 29, and 30, and 32, and 34, and 35, etc… etc….
Brad Pitt’s got a movie to sell, Netflix’s War Machine, which would explain why he’s suddenly back from his post-split hiatus. Last night, Brad made an appearance on Late Night with Stephen Colbert during the reoccurring segment Big Questions With Even Bigger Stars. Brad and Stephen Colbert laid out on a blanket and asked each other deep questions. Surprisingly, one of the questions Stephen asked wasn’t: “What’s that smell? It’s like a dirty shirt took a nap inside a beard sprinkled with nutritional yeast.” Instead it was more like the conversation that would happen after two bros watched Cosmos for the first time.
I bet most famous people would beg their agents not to let anyone film them at such an unflattering angle. But not Brad. Brad was into it, and I’m sure he didn’t leave after they cut to commercial. Plugging movies can be so exhausting. I wouldn’t be surprised if he grabbed the corner of that blanket, rolled into a flannel burrito, and asked “Is it cool if I catch a quick nap here? This fake grass is hella comfy.”
Here’s Brad Pitt arriving at the Late Show in New York yesterday. It’s not know where he was coming from, but based on that outfit, I’d guess he just came from yelling at kids to get off his dang lawn.
Usually when Christmastimes roll around and a few of my loved ones ask me if I want anything for Christmas, I say, “Oh, that Christmas shit is for children and I don’t need anything but your love… However, I don’t want to make you feel bad, so…“, before whipping out my What I Want For Christmas catalog complete with pictures, Amazon links and my favorite kinds of weed strains. But this year, all I have to do is scream five wonderful words: THE GOLDEN GIRLS BOARD GAME!
Miley Cyrus spent her last two albums hammering into our brains the point that she’s no longer Hannah Montana or a bubble gum pop puppet and is now an oh-so-edgy, pasties-wearing, Bernie Sanders-supporting, hip hop-loving, glitter-queefing acid raver chipmunk. But now that she’s out there selling her new single Malibu and her new album, she’s hammering into our brains the point that she’s no longer a strap-on-wearing twerk-a-nator and is now a fresh-faced, beach hair-having easy listening chanteuse who is totally not offensive. You hear that, Trump supporters? It’s safe to #BuyMalibuOniTunes.
Who knew that picture of Alan Thicke and his third wife Tanya Callau at Family Feud would foreshadow what was to be. Five months after Alan Thicke died, his family is feuding over his money. The Hollywood Reporter says that Robin Thicke and his older brother Brennan Thicke are taking Tanya to court over his estate and accusing her of trying to get her paws on their dad’s money.
Bella Thorne is Lindsay Lohan’s successor in meth (I meant to type “successor in messiness” but that works too) and Scott Disick is the Brandon Davis of our time (aka a glob of douche discharge that we’d all probably do and live to regret after getting our gonorrhea results from the free clinic), so these two train wrecks were bound to crash into each other. This is probably going to end with Scott calling Bella a “firecrotch” to the paparazzi as whoever is the Parasite Hilton of our time (Hailey Baldwin? The Cash Me Ousside Girl? jiffpom?) cackles behind him.