Someone On “Modern Family” Is Going To Be Killed Off

/ September 14, 2018

Oh they’re all smiling now. But just wait until one of them gets a script that’s only two pages long and a note for makeup that reads: “Corpse-y, but not like, ghoulish.

Modern Family is rumored to be ending after its tenth or possibly eleventh season. Show creators Steve Levitan and Christopher Lloyd said at the beginning of this year that they’d like the show to leave on a huge ratings-grabbing high note, like a birth, a death, or a wedding. I was hoping the show would end with Haley Dunphy reuniting with her older, denim-slinging dirtbag boyfriend Kenny and getting married in matching jean outfits. But it looks like they’re going with a death, and it’s going to happen sooner than at the end of the series.

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Roseanne Talked To Dr. Oz About Her Ambien Defense

/ September 14, 2018

I thought the bitch was white!

Love,

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr tried it again with her Ambien defense when chatting with charlatan Dr. Oz in a just released a teaser trailer for a full-length interview on The Dr. Oz Show, which sounds like a fun children’s show but is anything but. In case you’ve been living on Mars this past year (btw, so jealous. You got a hookup? I’m looking to buy), Roseanne claimed that she was under the influence of Ambien when she tweeted some racist shit that got her fired from her sitcom. As a “medical” “professional”, Doc Oz is uniquely qualified to determine whether or not Roseanne’s Ambien defense holds water. Big surprise here guys, it does not.

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Miranda Hobbes Won’t Be The Next Governor Of New York

/ September 14, 2018

This is one of those times where I wish I had access to a time machine so I could go back and warn Michael K that he might want to get out an iron to press and starch his best mourning veil. Because the dream of seeing Christine “Rojo Caliente” Marinoni working a First Lady wave from a victory parade float has died, at least for right now. Six months after Cynthia Nixon announced she was running for governor of New York, she lost in the Democratic primary to incumbent Andrew Cuomo. I guess the threat of one of Cardi B’s flying shoes just wasn’t enough.

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Frank Ocean Wants To Be Removed From Travis Scott’s Album

/ September 14, 2018

TMZ is reporting that there is a new rap feud in town. While it may not rise to the aggro levels we’re currently used to with Cardi B and Nicki Minaj brawling out here in the streets, it seems that Frank Ocean is getting mildly into it with Travis Scott. And no, it’s not because Frank Ocean hates the Kardashians as much as the rest of decent humanity, or because Travis took his rightfully-owned parking space. In fact his beef with Travis is purely musical.

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Prosecutors Accuse Bill Cosby Of Trying To Delay His Sentencing

/ September 14, 2018

This rotten trick still believes he’s untouchable. Bill Cosby already got a decades long pass on facing any consequences whatsoever for allegedly drugging and assaulting scores of women. It wasn’t until one of those women, Andrea Constand, finally got him convicted of three counts of aggravated indecent assault that The Coz finally got his ass handed to him (God knows nobody else wants those deflated trouser pancakes). Cosby has been chilling at home with his doting wife Camille Cosby at his side, but now that his sentencing hearing is coming right up, he’s digging in his heels and claiming the judge who presided over his retrial was biased against him.

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Julie Chen Proved She’s Sticking By Her Husband

/ September 14, 2018

After the news broke that Les Moonves is stepping down as CEO of CBS after 12 women accused him of workplace sexual harassment and assault, his wife Julie Chen announced she’s taking some time away from The Talk to be with her family. When the first round of allegations against Les came out, Julie was quick to defend Les and “fully support him.” As promised, Julie returned to TV during last night’s episode of Big Brother and made it clear she’s working from The Tammy Wynette Guide to Standing by Your Man.

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