While taking a break from trying to steal baby’s milk and purring out a dusty relic of a song about being Siamese, two Siamese cats from Russia got themselves into a major, major problem as their human filmed it. Each pussy started at the opposite end of the top of some entertainment unit-looking thing, and made their way across it. They eventually ran into each other and a real Nelly and Kelly Rowland song ensued. They realized they were stuck. What to do?
They could just live there forever at the top of Mt. Entertainment Unit. They could turn on each other and try to push one another to a possible death. Or they could join forces and jump onto their human before attacking their human for recording their troubles instead of helping them. You’d think it would be the third one. But those cats shocked us all by solving the problem with team work.
So those cunning pussies solved a problem without scratching each other’s eyes out, screaming at one another or destroying the other by leaking harmful into to the media? Further proof that cats should run the world.
Donald Trump definitely spent 90% of his morning and afternoon (okay, 100% of his morning and afternoon) sounding out the words while writing, “invoise 2 Stormee Danyulls: one millyun dollers 4 openeneng up yr hor mouf on tevees,” on his presidential stationary today. Because Stormy Daniels violates the NDA she signed with Trump every time she publicly talks about their alleged one-night fuck. And she earned herself another $1 million violation today when she talked about it on The View with her panty cream-inducing stubble head lawyer Michael Avenatti.
Stormy didn’t really say anything she hadn’t already said on 60 Minutes, but she did bring the pecking hens of The View something new. She brought them a sketch of the goon she claims threatened her and her daughter. The sketch has got the internet playing a big ole’ game of Harpo, Who Dis Goon?
Based on the testimony provided by all of the sources that crawled out of the woodwork last week, it seemed as though Khloé Kardashian’s new baby girl, True, had fully strengthened the bond between her mommy and cheater daddy, Tristan Thompson. According to TMZ, that would be…false. Much like the seams on the back of Khloé’s pants, her relationship with Tristan is barely hanging on by a thread.
When Khloé announced the name of her daughter yesterday, she said that True had “stolen our hearts,” adding “we are overwhelmed with love.” Khloé may have name-dropped Tristan, but according to sources that spoke with TMZ, that’s about as close as she’s gotten to him.
Khloé has not spoken to Tristan for several days because she’s still furious after finding out he repeatedly cheated on her, and embarrassed her in the process.
Khloé is still in Cleveland at Tristan’s house, but only because all the baby stuff is there. Once a doctor clears her to fly, she’s going back to L.A. Tristan is also at the house, and sources say they haven’t been alone together since leaving the hospital. That could have something to do with Kris Jenner, Kendall Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Kourtney Kardashian all having flown out to see Khloé.
Despite allowing him to be in the delivery room last week and all the rumors that she had fully forgiven Tristan for cheating, she is nowhere close to forgiving him. And neither is her family. According to TMZ, everyone is pissed at Tristan, including Rob Kardashian, who is allegedly “raging.” Rob, it’s okay, but you don’t have to be jealous. I promise, it’s only a matter of time before you’re the Kardashian with the messiest co-parenting situation once again.
Back in 1998, Disney did the world a solid by inadvertently creating a hunky bisexual icon when they had Li Shang get the under-tunic-feels for Mulan, even though he thought she was a dude. With their planned live-action remake, Disney appears to be asking for take-backsies on the bisexuality because a casting call indicates that they are swapping out the character of Li Shang for some super straight dude named Chen Honghui.
Don’t worry, guys. Anthony Scaramucci is doing just fine. He’s doing better than fine, in fact. The President’s shortest-lived (and probably shortest-limbed) mouthpiece got out while the getting was good. He’s back with his wife and has added celebrity restaurateur to his resume. So, if you’re looking for a place to host a “singles” event where, according to Page Six, “sugar daddies” can “hook up with pliant young women seeking ‘arrangements’”, The Mooch can help! Just come on over to Tony’s Hunt & Fish Club in Manhattan and find you a hot young piece at bargain prices! Bada bing!
The mystery of who dropped $7,000 for Russell Crowe’s leather Cinderella Man jockstrap at auction has been solved. But before you go thinking John Oliver is some kind of weirdo who really wanted Russell Crowe’s jockstrap for a “personal” collection, it’s not like that. It will soon be making its way to one of the last remaining Blockbuster stores in Alaska.