Nico Tortorella Drank Hilary Duff’s Breast Milk

/ February 17, 2019

In his on-going quest to be that much extra, Younger actor and polyamory activist Nico Tortorella drank his co-star Hilary Duff’s breast milk in an Instagram Story (via E!). There’s a lot to unpack here but the biggest takeaway is that Lizzie McGuire is well and truly dead for many of us after this sordid, lactose tolerant story.

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Miranda Lambert Got Surprise Married To Her NYPD Boyfriend Of A Few Months

/ February 17, 2019

Well I’ll be a corn shucker’s silver dollar pancake! Last week boot scootin’ salad tosser Miranda Lambert went and surprised us all (not really) by throwing some lettuce on a stranger in a steak restaurant. Not that Miranda needs an excuse to toss a salad in public whenever she feels like it, but now we know the real reason why she did it! Miranda was just releasing some pre-wedding jitters. That’s right, Miranda has gone and surprised us all again (not really) by getting secret married to her new boyfriend of a few minutes.

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Darren Criss Got Married

/ February 17, 2019

The slyly THOT-ful Darren Criss, 32, got married. The Glee refugee and television serial killer married his lady love of eight years, Mia Swier, in New Orleans yesterday according to Us Weekly. Darren wore an all-white tux. What a slap in the face to all of us that white tux is. Why not keep it elegant yet simple by wearing a tuxedo speedo, Darren? You’re always wearing wacky shit anyways!

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Chicago PD Are Investigating Jussie Smollett As An “Active Participant” In His Own Attack

/ February 17, 2019

Despite the Chicago Police Department denying earlier reports that they thought Empire actor Jussie Smollett staged his own hate crime victimization, they’ve changed their minds and have now come to the conclusion that it was probably staged. Not even Lee Daniels, the master of soap opera fuckery, could come up with a messier storyline. Lee probably should’ve given Jussie a job in the writer’s room.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ February 17, 2019

Chicken and Waffles cereal from Post!

Have you ever woken up with a strong desire to hit your mouth with a spoonful of fried chicken and waffle bits floating in a leche pool? If so, you’re probably a wake and bake stoner, and a wake and bake stoner of the strangest kind. You’re also in luck, because Post cereal has made your fucked-up culinary dreams come true with Chicken and Waffles cereal.

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Birthday Sluts

/ February 17, 2019
Barry Humphries (85)
Sasha Pieterse (23)
Ed Sheeran (28)
Bonnie Wright (28)
Chord Overstreet (30)
Daphne Oz (33)
Selita Ebanks (36)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (38)
Paris Hilton (38)
Jason Ritter (39)
Ashton Holmes (41)
Kelly Carlson (43)
Jerry O’Connell (45)
Bryan White (45)
Billie Joe Armstrong (47)

Pic: Instagram

Taylor Hawkins (47)
Denise Richards (48)
Dominic Purcell (49)
Tuesday Knight (50)
Chante Moore (52)
Michael Bay (54)
Larry the Cable Guy (56)
Michael Jordan (56)
Lou Diamond Phillips (57)
Loreena McKennitt (62)
Rene Russo (65)
Becky Ann Baker (66)
Brenda Fricker (74)
Vicente Fernandez (79)
Hal Holbrook (94)
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