Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ January 21, 2019

Wally, the emotional support alligator!

One Pennsylvania man (no, I didn’t mean to type “Florida man” even though this feels like some news straight out of The Fuckery State) saw your emotional support peacock and emotional support pig, and raised you an emotional support alligator. Now, if I was sitting next to a bead-eyed, scaly creature with terrifying teeth and it wasn’t Karl Lagerfeld, I’d be wishing I had an emotional support tiger to protect me emotionally and physically in case that gator snapped. (If I was sitting next to a bead-eyed, scaly creature with terrifying teeth and it was Karl Lagerfeld, I’d be wishing I had some holy water and a crucifix to protect me from the Death Eaters’ scariest member.) But a man named Joie Henney, whose emotions are being protected by a gator, tells Penn Live that his emotional support alligator Wally is just like a dog. Why am I now picturing Wally licking his own scaly b-hole and rubbing his lipstick all over Joie’s leg while humping that shit?

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Birthday Sluts

/ January 21, 2019
Emma Bunton (43)
Boo Boo Stewart (25)
Kelly Rohrbach (29)
Luke Grimes (35)
Izabella Miko (38)
Jerry Trainor (42)
Cat Power (47)
Ken Leung (49)
Charlotte Ross (51)
Robby Benson (63)
Geena Davis (63)
Jeff Koons (64)

Pic: Instagram

Paul Allen (66)
Billy Ocean (69)
Jill Eikenberry (72)
Plácido Domingo (78)
Jack Nicklaus (79)
Jam Master Jay (1965-2002)
Ann Wedgeworth (1934-2017)
Telly Savalas (1924-1994)
Christian Dior (1905-1957)
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Open Post: Hosted By Timothée Chalamet Rapping About Math As “Lil’ Timmy Tim”

/ January 20, 2019

He’s not THAT bad. Wouldn’t you rather listen to “Lil’ Timmy Tim” as opposed to Kanye? When Timothée Chalamet was a high school kid at some prestigious performing arts school in Manhattan (which was probably, like, yesterday), he had to take Statistics. This is disappointing because you would figure you would go to a Fame-type school to AVOID math.

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Original “Suspiria” Director Dario Argento Isn’t About The Remake

/ January 20, 2019

Famed Italian “giallo” director Dario Argento is known for his stylish and much-imitated horror flicks, with the most revered one being 1977’s “I think my dance instructor might be Satan!” cult epic Suspiria. Dario Argento was interviewed by Radio Rai 1’s Un Giorno da Pecora (via The Film Stage) and the host brought up 2018’s remake of Suspiria by “Call Me By Your Name” director Luca Guadagnino that starred Tilda Swinton and that bore from the 50 Shades trilogy. Suffice to say, Dario wasn’t thrilled by the remake and probably acted like those incel-types by trying to tank it on Rotten Tomatoes out of spite.

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Naomi Campbell And Liam Payne Flirted On Instagram. What Does It Mean?!

/ January 20, 2019

It was bad enough to feel solidly over the cusp of middle age when the teenage lads from One Direction broke up (or went on an indefinite hiatus, if you are a glass half full kind of Directioner). Then some of the boys started popping out babies and I felt down right Social Security recipient old. This morning I feel like the Cryptkeeper took a dump on my head with the news that Naomi Campbell and Liam Payne flirted. Yes, supermodel and professional phone thrower Naomi Campbell, age 48 and Liam Payne, 25 were flirting on Instagram so that 100% confirms that they are practically married already.

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The Sun Says Brad Pitt And Charlize Theron Are A Thing

/ January 20, 2019

Yeah, it’s The Sun but it’s Sunday, so let’s run with it, shall we? Charlize Theron and Brad Pitt are reportedly a thing now, after “kindling their romance over the Christmas period.” And they were supposedly introduced by Charlize’s craggy and cranky ex Sean Penn! Sure, you’re slightly shaking your head at how this one is total bullshit by my, wouldn’t it make the veins in Angie’s forehead pop with rage if it was true? Charlize doesn’t waste time trying to cultivate a saintly image at the UN! She shills perfume in beautifully shot television ads, makes movies, and lives her damn life. We like that in a screen goddess!

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