Uber hasn’t had a great April when it comes to famous-ish passengers. Last week, Busy Philipps claimed her life was at risk after she climbed into an Uber driven by a creepy guy with an even creepier guy in the backseat. Now plus-size model Tess Holliday is claiming a recent Uber ride put her her self esteem at risk, thanks to a body-shaming Uber driver.
Shannon Purser, who was Barb on Stranger Things and plays Ethel Muggs on Riverdale, came out as bisexual on Twitter yesterday. 19-year-old Shannon declared her love of both peen and poon after fighting with Riverdale fans on Twitter about whether or not the show partakes in queerbaiting. In the show’s first episode, Betty and Veronica kiss during cheerleading tryouts. They never go beyond that kiss and they never get into a relationship or anything. To me that kiss (yes, I watch Riverdale) was purely meant to be shocking since they did it to make the cheer team. Some fans didn’t like that the show shamelessly used faux-lesbian shit for ratings and had no intention of developing a real and organic relationship between Betty and Veronica.
The drama all started when Cole Sprouse (who plays Jughead Jones on Riverdale) burped up a tweet (that he later deleted) about how the show’s haters are either eggs or “someone who looks like they graduated Hogwarts with a magical liberal arts degree.” Shannon burped up a response to his tweet (which she also deleted) by telling him not to forget “angry Beronica stans” (aka fans who want Betty and Veronica to get together).
Somewhere, a sad trumpet is playing Taps for waist trainers, for it seems they’re no longer the favorite excuse for how a Kardashian’s body suddenly looks different. Now it’s the flu. The illness that takes your ass halfway into the afterlife with vomiting, chills, cold sweats, hallucinations, and diarrhea is apparently Kim Kardashian’s new weight loss plan. And as you already know, a whole lot of people recently dragged her for admitting so.
Last night, Kim went to dinner in Los Angeles looking like a human tapeworm.
Kim Kardashian West last night pic.twitter.com/pTIiwcKFO4
— KKW (@KimKLegion) April 19, 2017
UsWeekly says Kim explained why her body looked a tad smaller by tweeting that she had lost 6lbs thanks to the flu.
“The flu can be an amazing diet. So happy it came in time for the Met lol #6lbsdown”
The two brain cells shuffling around in Kim’s cranium must have been busy trying to help her decide which shade of beige looks best wrapped around her butt, because they clearly weren’t there to whisper “Um, people might not lol at referring to the flu an amazing diet.” Some people on Twitter dragged Kim for glamorizing an illness and questioned whether she would say the same thing to her daughter if she got sick with the flu. Kim eventually deleted the tweet.
Personally, I think Kim deleted the tweet after Kris Jenner caught wind of Kim giving away diet tips for free. “Kim, you should know better! If you’re going to promote an unhealthy way to lose weight, at least try to register it as a trademark. The Flu™ could have been a bigger Instagram scam than Flat Tummy Tea!”
Today’s theme is turning out to be: Sex and Tennis. Please let the theme continue! I really hope a locker room sex tape starring Feliciano Lopez and Fernando Verdasco leaks. (Yes, I had no idea who those two were until four seconds ago after Googling, “Who are the hottest tennis pieces?“)
Not that the possibility of being a child support check provider to an Instagram model was on his mind, but now it’s really not on Drake’s mind. Because Drake is too busy taking a crash-course training in how to be a birth coach and nanny now that his one-time boo is knocked up. As Beyonce grows the newest holy messiahs in her womb, Serena Williams is growing the future ruler of tennis in her body.
Remember yesterday when an Instagram model named Layla Lace provided several receipts showing that she’s pregnant and the father is Drake? Well, someone else has come forward with their own receipts showing that Layla Lace made it all up.
For the fifth – yes fifth – time, Julia Roberts has been chosen by People magazine (aka People with Aggressive Publicists magazine) for their annual World’s Most Beautiful issue. I honestly didn’t think People could get more predictable with their pick than when they threw Jennifer Aniston on the cover last year, but here we are.