While it might have sparked the “DUHHH!” heard ‘round the world, Pete Davidson was on The Tonight Show last night promoting what sounds like a 10-second cameo in a Robert Pattinson movie. Of course, Pete did more than promote that movie – he also used the appearance to finally confirm that he will soon be Mr. Ariana Grande. Continue reading
Karlie Kloss, Who Is Dating Jared Kushner’s Brother, Induces Eye Rolls For Tweeting About Immigrant Crisis
Karlie Kloss is currently boning Joshua Kushner, brother of Ivanka Trump’s hubby and Senior White House Advisor Jared Kushner. Karlie and Josh are pretty vocal Democrats on a normal day, but when Karlie took to Twitter to say children need to stop being ripped from their parents at the border and change is needed Some responded, “Bish, then bring it up to your man’s bro in the White House in two weeks at the family Fourth of July barbeque.” Continue reading
Ann Coulter, the hemorrhoid that a Ninth Circle rat chewed off of Lucifer’s asshole and barfed into a puddle of acid where it mutated into a shit-spewing demon, accused the detention camp children of being crisis actors. Well, Melania Trump heard what Ann Coulter said and decided to show a bitch what crisis acting really is when she showed up to the New Hope Children’s Center in McAllen, TX today and pretended to care about the 60 immigrant kids and teens from Central America who are being detained there. But before Melania acted like she cared, she told us that she really doesn’t by wearing a jacket that read “I Really Don’t Care. Do U?” as she boarded the plane headed to Texas. In Melania’s defense, she was probably forced to wear that because it’s the new official uniform of the Trump family.
During the election, Jimmy Fallon earned himself a whole bunch of hate by acting like a fangirl while interviewing Donald Trump on The Tonight Show. Almost two years on, and Jimmy has had some time to reflect on his (arguably, extremely poor) choices. According to Jimmy, he’d do it differently if he had to do it again.
2018 is turning into the Year of the Pickle. History’s most famous pickle slut Snooki is back on TV, Sonic created something the Vlasic stork would shit out if he got butt boned by a snowman, and now KFC is taking up a corner on the pickle stroll by selling a pickle fried chicken sandwich for a limited time. “Pickle fried chicken sandwich” makes me think that KFC took a pickle, slathered it in their artery-clogging fried chicken batter, and threw it into a vat of heart attack-inducing syrup (read: oil) until it crisped up and looked exactly like my liver does after a holiday weekend. But in a press release, KFC says it’s just a fried chicken sandwich with some pickle sauce drizzled on it. (Prepare to be hit with a stupid phrase from the olden days) WEAK SAUCE is more like it.
“People are crazy about pickles, and pickle-flavored products are becoming today’s trendiest menu item,” said Andrea Zahumensky, KFC U.S. CMO. “Pickles and fried chicken are a match made in heaven, with tastemakers everywhere pairing these flavors. Our guests have been clamoring for more pickles – especially since we launched the Crispy Colonel Sandwich™ – so we’re giving them what they want by coating our Extra Crispy™ Chicken with a mouthwatering pickle sauce that delivers a craveable punch of pickle in every bite!”
And since this is KFC we’re talking about, that pickle sauce is probably GMO water infused with lab-made pickle flavoring. That sandwich is basically what you’d get if Phoebe Price and Snooki bumped ‘ginas. Okay, I think in dissing it, I just sold myself on it.
Johnny Depp and his former business managers at The Management Group (TMG) are currently deep in several lawsuits. Johnny has sued them, accusing them of secretly spending his cash and leaving him with nothing. TMG is suing Johnny, saying it’s his own fault for going broke.
We’ve only really heard Johnny’s side of things through leaked legal documents, but Johnny recently sat down for a 72-hour interview with Rolling Stone at his home in London to clear the air. Metaphorically, of course; even the strongest air purifiers are no match for whatever is lingering on Johnny Depp.