Bob Barker’s Back Has Put Him In The Hospital

/ October 23, 2018

TMZ is reporting that at around 1pm yesterday, a fire crew rushed to 94-year-old Bob Barker’s house in Los Angeles after he reported some major back pain. For those wondering, no – I don’t believe he slipped on a Plinko chip. Bob woke up with a messed-up back, and his family called professionals to bring him to the hospital. Bob was seen being wheeled into the hospital on a stretcher. Bob was sitting up and seemed responsive.

Bob’s business manager William Prappas tells USA Today that Bob was still being evaluated on Monday evening, that he was awake, alert, and more comfortable than when he arrived: “Hopefully he’ll be back home soon.

TMZ says Bob was just at the doctor last week for a follow-up visit to a fall he had in July 2017. Bob hit his head after taking a tumble in his bathroom, but he was fine after a quick trip to the hospital.

Death probably isn’t ready to take Bob just yet. Death flashed back to the golf course fight scene in Happy Gilmore and thought, “His back, huh? So you’re saying his fists are still good. Yeah, I’m not about to get my ass whooped as he calls me a bitch.

Pic: Wenn.com

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Sarah Silverman Got Shit For Saying She Let Louis CK Jack Off In Front Of Her, And Now She’s Sorry 

/ October 23, 2018

Sarah Silverman was on The Howard Stern Show and she talked about her friend, joke-teller and dick-puller Louis CK. As everyone knows from their skin crawling off their body and running off far, far away, Louis CK admitted that he terrorized women with his dick by pulling it out and jacking off in front of them without their permission after several women said that he made them feel a new kind of uncomfortable by jacking off in front of them without their permission. After being gone for more than enough (aka not nearly enough time), Louis CK is on somewhat of a comeback tour (I mean, he’s gotta make that $35 million back, poor him), and his friend/fellow comedian/former jack off show audience member of one Sarah Silverman is helping him out.

Sarah spoke with Howard Stern about reconciling the #MeToo movement and the advancement of women’s rights with being friends with a guy who used to jerk it in front of unwilling females. Sarah said that she too had been a witness to Louis giving himself a happy ending, but she was different from the other girls because she was totally down with it some of the time. This is when “Being One Of The Boys” takes a sharp right turn into NOPE.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ October 23, 2018

Erik Agard, the Jeopardy! champion who earned some major internet points by spitting out a meme when he didn’t know the correct Final Jeopardy! answer.

Erik Agard is a 24-year-old University of Maryland graduate, a crossword puzzle master, and the owner a magnificent dandelion fro. Erik went into last night’s Jeopardy! battle with one win, and he also went into Final Jeopardy! with more money than both of his rivals combined times three. So all Erik Agard had to do was play it safe and he’d go on to another battle. The category was “Places In The News” and the clue was:

In a hint of the future, in 1973 Marjorie Post gave it to the U.S. govt. as a warm-weather presidential retreat, but it was returned.

The brain under Erik’s stunningly spectacular hair halo came up with a blank. But instead of pulling a guess out of his culo, or writing nothing, or doing what I would’ve done which is write my go-to-answer for everything “BETTY WHITE,” he trolled Alex Trebek by quoting the meme: “Oh No baby, what is you doing???

As Alex’s nemesis, Sean Connery, cackled into the night, Alex’s face turned into a question mark and Erik said, “Too live right now.” Surprisingly enough, You Doing Baby isn’t an estate once owned by Marjorie Post. But since Erik only bet $1,000, he won the game and his two-day jackpot hit $40,001.

The thing is, I actually knew the answer to that clue and I’m dumber than a dried jizz ball clinging to an extra dry pube. So I’m throwing that “What is you doing baby?” right back at Erik!

Pic: YouTube (For Meg!)

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Birthday Sluts

/ October 23, 2018
Ryan Reynolds (42)
Amandla Stenberg (20)
Ireland Baldwin (23)
Margaret Qualley (24)
Emilia Clarke (32)
Briana Evigan (32)
Jessica Stroup (32)
Miguel (33)
Izabel Goulart (34)
Meghan McCain (34)
Cat Deeley (42)
Kaleena Kiff (44)
Kate del Castillo (46)
Steve Wilder (48)
Dr. Sanjay Gupta (49)
Brooke Theiss (49)
Augusten Burroughs (53)

Pic: Instagram

Robert Trujillo (54)
Doug Flutie (56)
Nancy Grace (59)
Sam Raimi (59)
Weird Al Yankovic (59)
Martin Luther King III (61)
Dwight Yoakam (62)
Ang Lee (64)
Michael Rupert (67)
Pelé (78)
Baby Jane Holzer (78)
Philip Kaufman (82)
Barron Hilton (91)
Michael Crichton (1942-2008)
Johnny Carson (1925-2005)
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Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 20 – All Hail Granny Laurie Strode 

/ October 23, 2018

Allison and I both saw Halloween over the weekend, so we prove that we’re the new Siskel & Ebert (if Siskel & Ebert knew nothing about movies and had trash taste) by talking about it, rating it, and worshiping at the badass memaw feet of Laurie Strode. But before we do that, we get into Amy Schumer telling Maroon 5 to quit the Super Bowl halftime show, Prince William’s jealous bone possibly shaking over how much attention Duchess Kate and Prince Hot Ginge are getting, and the morbid replica of the Titanic. Allison also imagines what Amy Schumer’s baby is going to look like and I cast myself in a porn starring Chris Hemsworth and his hot friend.

And for our Halloween episode, we’re asking listeners to send in their real scary stories. So e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com if you’ve got one!

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Night Crumbs

/ October 22, 2018

There’s so much ugliness going on in the world right now that I owe it to the people to shed some hotness on their lives by shedding my top and letting my nipples light up their loins” thought Chris Hemsworth before going topless on the beach in Byron Bay. He’s right, but I’m sure that right after this picture was taken, the beach went dark, and it was from a giant frothy wave that formed. And no, the wave wasn’t made of water. It was made of the panty pudding that shot out of the beachgoers who saw this Thor nipple show live and in person  – Lainey Gossip

Amy Schumer is pregnant with a baby she made with her boyfriend-of-a-minute turned husband-of-a-minute, so expect her stand-up act to go from non-stop jokes about her being a drunk slut to non-stop jokes about her being a drunk slut with a baby – Just Jared

The only thing I’m getting from this picture is that Padma Lakshmi is such a foodie that she makes her makeup artistes use peanut butter as bronzer on her – Drunken Stepfather 

Austin Wolf, the porn star who posted a mile high fuck video that got a Delta flight attendant suspended, winked at Delta Airlines while accepting an award for Best Daddy. Meanwhile, why do I have a feeling that the suspended flight attendant is about to get a lawyer to wink at Austin Wolf while serving him with a lawsuit? – Towleroad

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