Allison declared her undying love for Butterball’s pre-stuffed turkey on our last episode, and that made some people cry, “SALMONELLA!” So we talk about the dos and don’ts of pre-stuffed turkey cooking (because we’re gourmet like that), and millennials supposedly pranking their parents with questions about nuking a turkey. But before we get into turkey crap, Allison and I dip our brains in a boiling vat of smug by covering Bill Maher shitting on adults liking comic books, and then we talk about Jessie J telling everyone to stop comparing her to Jenna Dewan. We also say words about Dolly Parton’s husband taking her to the romance epicenter known as McDonald’s, Mandy Moore’s 12 wedding cakes, and Priyanka Chopra making Star Jones proud.
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Prince Charles and his newest grandchild Prince Louis are on the cover of The Sunday Times Magazine to celebrate his 70 years of being alive. They really do look so happy, as happy as an oldie who never has to worry about putting a can of tuna back at the grocery store line because his social security check is so small, and as happy as a baby who can buy a pony farm with the gold nuggets he poots into his nappy – Celebitchy
Lady GaGa is showing you the perfect thing to wear when you got to go parachuting with a bunch of goths at 9:00 and cast a sleeping spell on a newborn baby princess at 10:00 – Lainey Gossip
Okay, but why is Sofia Richie using puppy ears as a purse? – Drunken Stepfather
A Simpsons-ized RuPaul is giving me Jody Watley as Dolly Parton and that is the greatest compliment you can give anyone – Towleroad
Err, can Halsey please time travel back to the 90s and give that outfit to the A Different World extra she stole it from? – Popoholic
Lea Michele really wants you to see her getting her butt shot up – Hollywood Tuna
I’m just here for Trash Heap – Pajiba
“Dumb Trash” is no name for a child, thought Kenya Moore, probably – Reality Tea
Bless Mandy Moore for giving delivering some Gunne Sax bridal elegance on her wedding day – SOW
Hell hath no fury like one of The Veronicas scorned by Ruby Rose – Just Jared
Pic: Chris Jackson for Getty/Clarence House
It’s not exactly like the Trump White House has kept good relations with Hollywood (save for Scott Baio), but things went even further south earlier this year when Michelle Wolf was the chosen comedian at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. If you were Democrat, Michelle blew your wig off by comparing Sarah Huckabee Sanders to Aunt Lydia onThe Handmaid’s Tale. I know, that wasn’t nice to do to the gentler Aunt Lydia. Republicans, however, added Michelle’s bit to their Fox News primetime scream-a-thon, so the White House Correspondents’ Association has said they’re replacing comedy next year with a lesson from a biographer. ZzzzzzZzzzZzzz!
World class concert violinist Caroline Campbell is getting a taste of Hollywood-sized notoriety, whether she wants it or not. Her ex-husband, Robot Burger Man aka John Miller, is dating Jennifer Garner and the details of John and Caroline’s divorce are now part of the public record. And while Caroline may not have been paying close attention to that record, the tabloids were. That’s how she wound up learning her divorce had been finalized by reading about it on the internet.
The optimist in me was confident that we’d close out 2018 without any more stories featuring Heather Locklear, the authorities, phone calls to 911, and stressed-out family members. It seemed as though Heather was getting help and on her way to doing better. But TMZ that Heather has been put on a psychiatric hold after her therapist and lawyer realized she needed some serious help. Heather was reportedly at her home on Sunday when someone (it’s not known who) called 911 and paramedics showed up.
Awards season is upon us, so it’s time to start worrying which of our “Golden Age” of Hollywood legends will be receiving honorary awards or presenting, so we can brace ourselves in case they have an advanced case of the olds. Sometimes there’s nothing to worry about as when 96-year-old Betty White showed she’s still got the magic when she came out at this year’s Emmy Awards. And sometimes it’s a painful, awkward, slog as when 101-year-old Kirk Douglas was wheeled out next to Catherine Zeta-Jones’ titties at The Golden Globes. Last night, The Academy of Motion Picture Art and Sciences held their annual Governors Awards and presented Cicely Tyson with an honorary Oscar for her life’s work. Cicely is 93-years-old, and proof that virtuous living and the regular application of moisturizer, can do wonders for your mind, body, and spirit.