Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Pillsbury Fudge Jumbles!

In the early-80s, Pillsbury finally produced the revolutionary answer to the question that humanity had been asking for centuries: What would be born if a cookie busted a nut up into a brownie and the brownie got knocked up? (Or: What would be born if the Pillsbury Dough Man took a crash course in creating monsters from Dr. Frankenstein and surgically put parts of a cookie and a brownie together?) Pillsbury called Fudge Jumbles a “new dessert idea” and it blew the minds of anyone who had never eaten a brownie with cookie pieces in it. Fudge Jumbles came in several flavors. It was basically a dessert mix that you’d swirl fudge into. Fudge Jumbles didn’t last. The world just wasn’t ready for a way-too-forward cookie brownie fudge thing.

And the end of that commercial probably didn’t help with sales. I mean, what I got from the end is that if you poke the Pillsbury Dough Boy too hard, out comes Fudge Jumbles. And do you really want to eat something fudgy and jumbly that came out of the Pillsbury Dough Boy? Don’t answer that. I don’t need to know that about you.

Pic: YouTube


Birthday Sluts

June 21, 2017 / Posted by:

Prince William (35)
Rebecca Black (20)
Sharna Burgess (32)
Lana Del Rey (32)
Kris Allen (32)
Jujubee (33)
Michael Malarkey (34)
Edward Snowden (34)
Jussie Smollett (35)
Benjamin Walker (35)
Brandon Flowers (36)
Chris Pratt (38)
Erica Durance (39)
Maggie Ziff (43)
Juliette Lewis (44)
Sonique (49)
Carrie Preston (50)
Gretchen Carlson (51)
Lana Wachowski (52)
Doug Savant (53)
David Morrissey (53)
Marcella Detroit (65)
Meredith Baxter (70)
Michael Gross (70)
Mariette Hartley (77)
Jane Russell (1921-2011)

Pic: Getty


Night Crumbs 

June 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Jenny Slate and Jon Hamm were papped leaving the movies together. So either they’re friends who go to the movies together or they’re dating. Jenny isn’t walking all bowlegged (aka the walk one does after getting destroyed by The Hammaconda), so I’m going with “friends” for now….. – Lainey Gossip 

Welcome to Day 2 of the slow whoring of Kenya Moore’s wedding and hired new husband – Reality Tea

Tiger Woods has gone off to rehab to deal with his pill problems – Celebitchy

It takes true talent to slip a pierced nip while holding a ciggy as waves splash against you – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Dear Claudia Jordan, try again when you’re holding a ciggy and a wave is splashing against you – (NSFW) The Nip Slip 

America would rather watch a dad get hit in the nutsack than watch Megyn Kelly interview a giant nutsack – Jezebel

Boy George crooned out an easy listening version of YMCA for charity – Towleroad

See, shit like this happens when you try to replace Harrison Ford as Han Solo!  – Pajiba

How sweet and gracious of the legendary Dame Joan Collins to pose with one of her little fans – SOW

“Hello, welcome to Talbots! My name is Lucy, let me know if you need anything”Popoholic

That lamp is out-modeling Kendull JennerHollywood Tuna

Who cares about Chris Pratt! Tell me more about that muscled-up Hot Pocket next to him – Popsugar

Mobb Deep of Prodigy died in Las Vegas at the way-too-young age of 42 – Just Jared

Pic: John Sciulli/Getty


Poor Johnny Depp Was Almost Forced To Sell All His Art, Houses, Cars, Yacht And Soul

June 20, 2017 / Posted by:

As we’ve all heard, Johnny Depp is in the middle of a lawsuit with his former business managers at The Management Group, and the only thing both sides can agree on is that his current financial situation is as messy as he looks. Johnny is suing TMG for $25 million for mismanaging his money and committing fraud by taking out loans in his name without permission. TMG is countersuing Johnny for breach of contract. TMG also blames’ Johnny’s money woes on him spending $2 million a month on shit like $30,000 worth of wine. Deadline says that TMG filed documents that they say proves that Johnny knew he was losing money fast and that they warned him that he needed to curb the spending or his cash problems would get shittier than the skid marks in his boxers.

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Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate And Prince William In Bootleg “My Fair Lady” Cosplay 

June 20, 2017 / Posted by:

In London right now, it’s apparently hotter and wetter than a b-hole exposed to shirtless pictures of Prince Hot Ginge. So a waterfall of sweat may be pouring out of your armpits just from looking at Prince William and Duchess Kate in stuffy clothes at Royal Ascot today, but fear not. I’m sure they wore frozen bloomers and nipple pasties, and mini air conditioning units were hiding under their hats. And if one droplet of sweat formed on their royal foreheads, the race would’ve been put on hold, and as the horses and jockeys slowly died of heatstroke while waiting on the track, Prince William and Duchess Kate would’ve cooled off in an air conditioned tent. So don’t sweat for them!

Today was day two one of the Royal Ascot horse races and it brought out THE QUEEN and the royals who don’t really matter (read: the royals not named Prince Hot Ginge). Prince William and Duchess Kate wore stunning ensembles borrowed from a low-budget community theater production of My Fair Lady, and I’d like to think that at one point, DK screamed, “Move your bloomin’ arse,” at the horse she bet on.

Whenever I think of Royal Ascot, I think of Ladies Day (aka Refined Blossoms Day), so I was hoping to see pictures of a drunken Duchess Kate humping a trash can as a drunken THE QUEEN spanked her with a pocketbook. The closest I got to that was Duchess Kate nearly grabbing the Countess of Wessex’s chichis to stop her from falling.

Prince Philip was there and I don’t even want to know what he groaned out while watching that Countess-On-Duchess action.


RIP Acting (500ish BC – 2017 AD): Daniel Day-Lewis Is Done With Being An Actor….Again

June 20, 2017 / Posted by:

History says that the art of acting was born before 534 BC when Thespis took the stage and played a character in a play. Well, the art of acting had a really good run, but the game is done now that the ac-TOR of all ac-TORS, Daniel Day-Lewis, has announced to the world that he’s retiring forever! Today, the comedy and tragedy masks are both crying over acting being done!

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