Open Post: Hosted By Elizabeth Berkley Finally Embracing The Fact That She’s Part Of Cinematic History

/ June 28, 2015

On the list of shit I regret, “Not Going To The Showgirls Screening At The Hollywood Forever Cemetery On June 27, 2015,” is right up there with, “Not Buying Cases Of Jell-O 1-2-3 Before They Discontinued That Deliciousness,” and, “Giving Myself Those Tragic Sun-In Highlights In The 7th Grade.

Cinespia held an outdoor screening of the reason why cinema was invented last night and Gina Gershon wasn’t there. (If Gina Gershon was there, I would’ve become an Aqua song and tried to turn back time so that I could be there.) But Elizabeth Berkley was there, and in front of thousands of Showgirls fans, she had a come to God moment about being in the most important HIGH ART movie of our time. After Showgirls tanked (because the world just didn’t understand art when it splashed them in the face like pool water splashing against Nomi Malone’s tits while fucking Kyle MacLachlan), Elizabeth was dropped by her agency, she stopped dancing and she didn’t even name Showgirls in her book.

But Jessie Spano finally woke up. At last night’s screening, which was her first screening in 20 years, she said that it was a real “full circle” moment for her and not just because the disciples of the Church of Showgirls formed a circle jerk as a reaction to being in the presence of the great Nomi Malone. via Defamer

On Instagram, Elizabeth posted a clip of the “Versayce” scene and also echoed what she told the sea of Showgirls devotees:

Such a special full circle moment tonight at a very special screening for 4,000 #showgirls fans!#hollywoodforever When it first came out years ago, the sweetness of a premiere eluded me since it had been met with such disdain and controversy. Amazing how life works in mysterious ways. Thank you for the love you showed me tonight…I’m #grateful it has served you as your guilty pleasure and as your anthem to go after your dreams. Thank you for writing a new chapter to this story

I’m sure Elizabeth will give the same speech at the Oscars in about 10 years when the Academy finally pulls its head out of its ass and honors Showgirls for its achievement in EVERYTHING.

Read more…
Tags:
SHARE

Kanye West Got His Stage Crashed At Glastonbury

/ June 28, 2015

Kanye West headlined the Glastonbury Festival on Saturday night, and British comedian Simon Brodkin bum-rushed the show as his “Lee Nelson” character. Instead of realizing he’s had this coming for a long time and playing along, Kanye acted like a gaping asshole. Which is not a character. He had security yank Brodkin away. He also demanded that the guy backstage who pushes the play button press pause so he could start “Black Skinhead” over again. Cut to a Scientology-approved yert in which Beck is nodding approvingly. Then cut over to Karlie Kloss’ hotel room where Taylor Swift is French-braiding Karlie’s hair and beginning every sentence with “Imma let you finish but Lee Nelson had…” before tee-hee-heeing.

“Lee Nelson” mimed that he was rapping during his brief appearance and those mere seconds were better than any performance that Kanye has ever given. There was more life, more soul, more spirit in Mr. Brodkin’s actions than in anything Kanye has ever done. Kanye realized this. Seeking validation, he later informed the crowd that they were “watching the greatest living rock star on the planet!” The definition of humble:

Glastonbury was equally problematic for Kim Kardashian West. Some resourceful youngster in the crowd made a flag depicting Kim Kardashian sucking off Ray J.

Screen Shot 2015-06-28 at 12.45.24 PM

Finally! That sex tape that ruined all of our lives is useful.

Check out Kuntye and wife boarding a helicopter for the festival:

Pics: Wenn.com

Read more…

CNN Mistook A Sex Toy Flag For An ISIS Flag

/ June 28, 2015

I seem to be the only person who has spotted this, and nobody seems to be raising any questions or pointing it out,” she said.

Yesterday, CNN correspondent Lucy Pawle dialed up anchor Suzanne Malveaux to report that she had seen an ISIS flag being displayed in the middle of London’s Gay Pride parade. You know us gays. Butt sex = a gateway drug for terrorism.

It wasn’t an ISIS flag. It was a flag satirizing ISIS using depictions of buttplugs and dildos. Basically someone was flying a flag that is similar to the one that flutters over Michael K’s street corner. She seriously thought that there was a gay ISIS faction? Girl, they drop us off of buildings. I’m guessing they wouldn’t have gotten an Evite to march between Dykes on Bikes and the human ponies from the fetish club.

To her credit, she did finally note that Arabic isn’t written using fuck toys. I’ll cut her an inch of slack because the flag looks identical to an ISIS flag. I’ll also shake my head sadly for her because this gal doesn’t recognize a dildo. Lucy, none of your friends have ever invited you to one of those parties where you get drunk and sample vibrators instead of scented candles? Get new friends, bitch.

Watch the video of CNN mistakenly reporting that ISIS had infiltrated the gay community (my eyes just rolled out of my head, fell to the floor, and my teacup poodle is now chasing them) below.

Read more…
SHARE

Prepare To Actually Feel Sympathy For Paris Hilton

/ June 28, 2015

Are you someone who’s been slighted in the past by Paris Hilton? True, her continued presence in the world slights everyone.  I’m typing specifically about those who may have been bullied by her, or bore a racist comment from her, or you’re her gyno cuz’ that can’t be a great gig. If so, consider yourself Emily Thorne-level revenged. An Egyptian television show played the most nightmarish prank on her that I think I’ve ever seen played on a person. This is almost on the level of “I fake kidnapped your baby.”

Paris was in Dubai, because of course she was, and the Ramez in Control show tricked her on to a small commuter plane. The plane looks like a resort shuttle bus with wings. That’s the first sign that something’s gone awry. If your plane isn’t plane-shaped, don’t get on it. Hilton was under the impression that she was merely going on a 15-minute aerial tour of the city. Instead, they completely destroyed her by faking that the plane was going to crash. The pilot made the plane plummet and everything.

As Paris screams and demands to know what is happening, they make it worse. They tell her that she’s going to have to jump out of the plane and parachute to safety. They even throw professional skydivers in disguise out the back, pretending that they’re forcing them to jump. You can almost clock the exact moment when Paris’ single brain cell melts down. It’s also the exact moment that she obviously shits her Agent Provocateurs. You know that she’s really scared and not acting because she briefly embraces the person beside her who is of a different ethnicity than her.

They finally land the plane, and let Wonky know that it was all a gag. Frankly, I would have kicked the dude in the balls and probably shoved his face in the nearest spinning propeller. She’s merely stunned and notes that the prank was next level. She also reveals that dying in a plane crash is her worst fear. Her worst fear used to be that a former minion would supplant her as Reality Show Whore Queen of the World, but that actually happened.

According to Gossip Cop, the show was able to use the footage because Paris signed a release before they got her on to the plane. As Michael K opined, this prank could only be improved if it had been played on Paris’ asshole brother.

Pop some popcorn and watch Paris Hilton get psychologically tortured in the video below. FF to 12:00 to get right into it. You’re evil if you laugh even a little. Spoiler alert – I’m evil.

Read more…
SHARE

Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ June 28, 2015

Flower Cat!

This little video starts off pretty a normal. A girl (although, judging by that voice, she may be a Teletubby), who probably just inhaled ten giant clouds of helium, serenades her pussy before planting a flower hat on the cat’s head. Tastefully Offensive thinks that the flower broke the pussy and made his brain issue an error 502. But I’m not sure if a flower virus is to blame for that cat shutting down all systems. Maybe just maybe his human’s “Michael Jackson during castration” voice had something to do with him going full script error shut down. I mean, that voice shut down my browser a couple of times.

And here’s pussy’s rebooting face one more time:

flowercatgif2

Whatever the reason may be, you now have a GIF to go with the way you feel on a Monday morning when your alarm goes off.

Read more…
SHARE

Birthday Sluts

/ June 28, 2015

Mary Stuart Masterson (49)
Lacey Schwimmer (27)
Kellie Pickler (29)
Tamara Ecclestone (31)
Rob Dyrdek (41)
Alessandro Nivola (43)
Elon Musk (44)
Aileen Quinn (44)
Steve Burton (45)
Mike White (45)
Tichina Arnold (46)
Chayanne (47)
Gil Bellows (48)
John Cusack (49)
Jessica Hecht (50)
John Elway (55)
Michael Jacobs (60)
Kathy Bates (67)
Mel Brooks (89)

Read more…
SHARE

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >