Mao, the ginger pussy who loves him some banana!

Meet Mao, the newest pussy to go viral  (File those last six words under “shit you will hear a nurse practitioner say at a walk-in clinic in Hollywood today”) thanks to his undying and addictive love to bananas. Mao delivered the visual definition of “nom nom nom” by going insane on a banana. Mao is a pussy possessed and I think I saw his eyeballs roll to the back of his head several times. That cat is bananamatized and goes all the way in on that curved deliciousness in front of the camera. That’s just how Kim Kardashian became a STAH. I can’t wait for Mao’s E! reality show.

This is what love looks like:

Half of us are saying, “Fuck, I have a gutter brain,” and the other half are saying, “Oh my GOD. Bananas have a protein that cats are deathly allergic to. RIP MAO!” But we can all agree that the word “love” was invented to describe the feelings Mao has for that banana.

via Buzzfeed (For Rose)

Geri Halliwell (43)
Charlotte McKinney (22)
Adrianne Curry (33)
Romola Garai (33)
Travie McCoy (34)
Marisa Miller (37)
Melissa George (39)
Soleil Moon Frye (39)
Ever Carradine (41)
Asia Carrera (42)
Vera Farmiga (42)
Merrin Dungey (44)
M. Night Shyamalan (45)
Michelle Yeoh (53)
Faith Prince (58)
Catherine Hicks (64)
Barbara Windsor (78)

Pic: Attitude UK

Blake Shelton is threatening to sue InTouch Weekly for saying that his alleged affair with country singer Cady Groves was the reason why his marriage ended. I know that Blake and Miranda didn’t have kids, but was this Cady person ever a nanny to their llamas or camels or horses? Because if not, I don’t buy it. It’s all about boning the nanny right now – Lainey Gossip 

The new season of Couples Therapy really is an A-list extravaganza – Reality Tea 

While scrolling through Miley Cyrus’ MTV VMA promo pictures, I nearly prolapsed out of shock from not seeing her topless. And then my eyes landed on her wearing green screen pasties – Drunken Stepfather

Josaiah Duggar and his courtin’ partner broke up, but they will always have their first side-hug – Celebitchy

The Deadpool trailer is here and it has curse words in it, so cover up your pristine virgin ears – The Superficial 

The Stonewall trailer needs more rioting drag queens – Towleroad

I, for one, like Kate Mara’s Dollar Tree Mia Farrow haircut – IDLYITW

Pimp Mama Kris’ skills are slipping if the best piece she can get for one of her main hos is Nick Jonas – Jezebel

The big-tittied blonde model who isn’t Kate Upton is still getting papped – Popoholic

A woman is suing FOX for $300 million, because she claims she’s the real Cookie Lyon. In her defense, suing a trick for $300 million is such a Cookie Lyon thing to do – OMG Blog

But has Louis CK made the Mayor of NYC watch him jack-off in a dressing room yet? – Pajiba

Four words: Corgi on a surfboard – The Berry 

In-N-Out would NEVER do this kind of disgusting shit. Okay, maybe they would and if they did, I’d still eat it – Hollywood Tuna 

Mimi got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and her twins truly didn’t give a shit about it – Popsugar

Macklemore had a baby. Well, Macklemore didn’t, but you know what I mean – Just Jared

And just when I thought that “Everything Is Awesome” song couldn’t get even more annoying…. – SOW

Pic: Wenn.com

It’s already time to vote for the 7th Hot Slut of the Month this year. To quote my old auntie, “Time soars when you’re being fun.” (She always fucks up popular phrases) This month, your choices are a J-pop metal band, a dangling dildo artist, the lion-killing dentist hunters and the Mexican Maxi Pad Queen! I think I just described all the new shows on TLC’s fall line-up. As usual, the first three were chosen by your Facebook likes and the fourth choice is the wild card pick, which my ass chooses. Here’s the final 4:

Ladybaby  – The J-pop metal band from the acid wonderland of Japan.

The Dildo Decorator of Portland – The genius artiste or artistes who turned Portland into a beautiful dick dreamland by dangling dildos from the power lines.

The Dentist Hunters – The two messes who trolled the dentist who killed Cecil the Lion by sneaking around his neighborhood with Nerf guns and stuffed lion toy bait.

Patricia Navidad – The actress/singer from Mexico who slapped down the feminine product haters who made fun of her after her maxi pad free fell off of her crotch during a live performance on TV.

Voting is below and the winning Hot Slut will be announced on Monday. Vote WITH YOUR LIFE!

You can always count on Frances McDormand to show up in the background and make a face that fully expresses your thoughts.

It’s been a little over a year since Robin Thicke devoted an entire album to trying to get his then-wife Paula Patton back. The album flopped and Paula responded to his pathetic acts of begging by filing for divorce in October 2014. Robin and Paula’s divorce became official in March of this year. 38-year-old Robin started dating his new piece, 20-year-old model type April Love Geary, in October and it seems like he’s moved on, but I’m not sure I would call dating the Nick Jr. version of your ex-wife “moving on.” But whatever, Robin’s douche heart is supposedly wrapped all the way around April and he wants to make her his wife #2.

Life & Style claims that Robin proposed to April and she said yes, because DUH$$$. A source says that Robin knows they haven’t been together for that long, but he doesn’t want to lose her. They also have so much in common. Robin plagiarized Marvin Gaye and she plagiarized Paula Patton’s looks. The source said this:

“Robin’s moving really quick with the relationship. Both his parents have told him to take some time and not rush into marriage again so soon,” the source shares. But he’s not listening to those pleas. “They go almost everywhere together. He’s totally obsessed with her.”

Robin’s rep tells Billboard that it’s not true and he’s not engaged. But I don’t know, Robin seems like the type to have a premature mid-life crisis.

If this turns out to be true, then I hope April convinces Robin to marry without a prenup. Because think of all the torture she’ll have to go through while being married to Robin Thicke. Robin will probably call her Paula, make her wear outfits that Paula wore and tell her to give him a lap dance as Paula while he sings songs from his album Paula. Not to mention that April can’t even legally have a drink when Robin gets on her nerves out in public. The definition of “how dreadful.”

And here’s Robin and April in NYC last June.

Pics: Wenn.com

Madam Tussauds in Las Vegas unveiled their first Nicki Minaj wax figure yesterday and well, I guess those bitches were on a tight deadline and an even tighter budget, because that doesn’t even come close to looking like her in the face. 2006 Nicki Minaj looks more like current day Nicki Minaj than that wax figure does and that’s saying everything. Yes, that wax figure’s ass is probably made of the same materials that Nicki’s actual ass is made of, but the similarities end there. It looks like they took the butt off of a Jennifer Lopez wax figure, glued it onto a rejected Selena wax figure and called it a day.

Pics: Wenn.com