Jake Gyllenhaal went on Conan O’Brien’s show last night to solve the mystery of how tall Jake Gyllenhaal is. That’s the dumbest mystery of all mysteries and what’s even more dumb is that Conan didn’t say, “Well, since I’ve got this measuring tape in my hands, you may as well take off your pants and chonies so we can measure something else…” – Lainey Gossip 

Speaking of dicks, here’s a dick with a hard dick (and yes, I would) – Drunken Stepfather

Jill Zarin was in a car crash, but THANK GOD, she survived it and was well enough to speak to Radar about it – Reality Tea 

Kate Winslet thinks she’s too smart for therapy, which probably means she needs a lot of therapy – Celebitchy

Oh, it’s just Scientology being Scientology – The Superficial 

Leonardo DiCatchAHo didn’t want to share his vape pen with Miley Cyrus. Now, I don’t know if Miley Cyrus is gross for wanting to suck on Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s vape pen or if Leonardo DiCatchAHo is smart for not sharing his vape pen with Miley Cyrus – IDLYITW

I just stared at Kendull Jenner’s kamel toe for way too long – Popoholic

Selena Gomez wore some kind of Versace cheerleading uniform in Flare – Hollywood Tuna 

Scott “Please Just Look Pretty And Don’t Speak” Eastwood is probably fucking that big-tittied blonde model who isn’t Kate Upton – Just Jared

Sean Hayes and his husband are lip dubbing again – Towleroad

Because humanity isn’t shitty enough…. – Egotastic

Chasing Life has quit chasing ratings and is done – SOW

WORST SOUL TRAIN LINE EVER – Jezebel

I’d hit it, I’d hit it, I’d hit it, I’d hit it X 10 – The Berry  

Doctor Who is getting spun off – Pajiba

Another month, another motley crew of Hot Slut of the Days who are fighting for the title of Hot Slut of the Month! And by “fighting” I mean “not doing anything,” because all of them don’t know and don’t care about this shit. But some of us do, which is why I suggest that you thoroughly research each candidate before voting. Or just close your eyes, press a finger against your screen and vote for whichever one you’re touching. That’s how I decide who to vote for in the presidential elections.

This month’s HSOTM battle has two saints, an asshole and a fashion icon in it. As always, three of the finalists were chosen based on Facebook likes and the fourth one was picked by me. I picked Eric the Asshole Bird, because we speak the same language. The finalists are:

Eric the Asshole Bird – The feathered bitch from Australia who cursed out the family dog and who would be Dlisted’s Speaker of the House if there was such a thing.

Sandra Garratt’s Multiples – The stunningly casual 80s fashion collection of easy-to-wear multiples that Kanye West wishes and dreams he created.

Tillie – The modern day Lassie who stayed by her best friend’s side as that pooch was stuck in a cistern for a week.

Eugene Bostick – The Dog Saint of Texas who built a doggy train for all of the abandoned dogs he’s taken in.

You can vote below. The winning HSOTM will be announced next Friday!

Singer, sometimes actress, sometimes symbol of elegance and full-time body image talker Demi Lovato did a photo shoot for Vanity Fair earlier this week to promote her album Confident and when photographer Patrick Ecclesine showed up, she let him know that she had three rules:

1. Do not talk about that shady bitch Kathy Griffin!

2. Do not talk about that shady bitch Kathy Griffin!

3. Do not talk about that shady bitch Kathy Griffin!

No, Demi didn’t want to wear any clothes on her body, she didn’t want any makeup on her face and she said the words that’d make a Kartrashian scream in terror: No Photoshop! Demi’s great-granddaddy died the day before the shoot, so she had a major case of the sads, but told Patrick that life’s too short and her album is about “confidence” (in case you couldn’t tell by the title of it). So she took off them panties, slicked back that hair, popped that ass out and got natural. When someone I love dies, the last thing I’d want to do is pose ass crack naked in front of a camera, but we all grieve differently.

Demi says in a video interview about the shoot that she didn’t think she’d ever be in a place where she’d be comfortable with posing in the raw:

“In the past, I suffered from eating disorders and I basically went from hating every single inch of my body to working on myself and trying to figure out ways to love myself, love the skin that I’m in. I learned, after working very hard on my spirituality and my soul and my body, that you can get to a place where you love the skin you’re in. And I’m excited to share that with the world.”

I know what people mean when they say to “love the skin you’re in,” but whenever they say it, I picture Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs smiling a creepy smile while wearing the suit he made with the skins of his victims. Aaaand on that note, here’s Demi serving up an A++ eyebrow game and un-Photoshopped nalgas in Vanity Fair.

After thirty layers of puke covered my eyeballs from looking at that nasty Bill Cosby picture, I needed an extra-strength palate cleanser and I got one in the form of Grace Jones busting out some Legends Gone Wild shit during a signing for her memoirs at the Barnes & Noble in NYC’s Union Square last night. Grace Jones showed up two hours later, but she made it up to her loyal subjects by gracing their eyes with her 67-year-old nipple knobs.

Everybody in that place better have bowed down to Grace’s nips. Because long before copycat wannabes like Miley Cyrus, Lady CaCa and RiRi were sucking on their mama’s tetes, Grace’s nipples were partying with the best of them. I’m sure that on any given night at Studio 54, you could find Grace’s right nipple cutting a line for Bianca Jagger while her left nipple stirred a martini for Andy Warhol. Those nipples have seen and done it all. They’re still at it too. I heard that at last night’s signing, she gave her fingers the night off and signed copies of her book with her do-it-all nips.

Pics: Wenn.com

I know. I need to be straight-up hit in the face for assaulting your eyes with that nasty picture.

Several more Bill Cosby accusers came forward this week, bringing the grand total to over 50. Even though nearly everyone on this planet has accused Bill Cosby of drugging and/or sexually assaulting them, he’s never been charged with assault, because of a thing called “statute of limitations.” That may change soon. The Los Angeles Times says that prosecutors in L.A. are looking over allegations made in 2008 against Bill Cosby. The LAPD already investigated it and turned over their findings to the D.A. who will decide whether or not to throw charges at him.

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Universal Pictures UK tweeted this first picture of Bridget Jones on the set of Bridget Jones’s Baby. (Note: I’m really disappointed in them for not calling it Bridget Jonesing For A Baby.) The third Bridget Jones movie isn’t based on Mad About The Boy, the third book in Helen Fielding’s series. It’s based on columns written by Helen Fielding and in it, Bridget’s diary has been replaced with an iPad and Hugh Grant’s character has been replaced with a new character played by Patrick Dempsey. That’s great (or not) and everything, but it’s shitty that they replaced Renee Zellweger with Chelsea Handler. That’s who that is, right? No, that actually kind of looks like Bridget Jones and I see a little bit of her signature squint.

Thanks to that diabolical smirk and the way she’s clutching that iPad, it looks like a still from a horror movie. It looks more like a still from Rosemary’s Baby instead of Bridget Jones’s Baby. Please tell me that in the third movie, Bridget Jones is knocked up with the spawn of Lucifer.