RiRi On The Difficult Brown, One-Night Stands And “Hero” Rachel Dolezal

/ October 6, 2015

RiRi doesn’t really have anything to sell right now, besides her daily pap walks, Instagram posts and bottles of stank, but she’s on the cover of Vanity Fair and in the interview, she says words about everything from Chris Brown to casual boning to Rachel Dolezal. If your brain completely erased every memory of Rachel Dolezal, I’m jealous of you. But let me remind you who that mess is. Rachel Dolezal is Sideshow Bob’s transracial second cousin who pretended to be black and was the only thing the media talked about for a little while. You know, she was the Kim Davis of June 2015. We all forgot about Rachel Dolezal until RiRi said her name again. Damn you, RiRi, you woke the fame whore beast! But before we get to that…

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Grace Jones Is Talking Shit About Lady Gaga Again

/ October 6, 2015

I really, really hope that Grace Jones’Reading These Hos Tour” never ever ends, because her beautiful words wrapped in pure bitchiness never fail to take me up, up and away and when I read her interviews I know how Jesus’ apostles felt when he spoke to them. In her memoirs, I Will Never Write My Memoirs, Grace Jones lines up many pop trick of today and slaps them down for copying her. While promoting her memoirs, Grace also slapped down Kanye West for jacking ideas from her and said that he’ll get a face full of her if they ever cross paths. Well, now it’s Lady CaCa’s turn to feel the wrath of Grace again.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ October 6, 2015

The most-loved ATM in Skoghall, Sweden, if not the world! 

ATMs can bring you happiness (example: when you’re about to meet your weed man, who only takes cash, and you’ve walked 4 blocks before finding an ATM that isn’t broken) and ATMs can bring you sadness (example: when it tells you that you have insufficient funds and you scream at it to please break the rules this time and stop being a square) and I don’t remember the last time I used one, but it’s nice knowing that there’s usually one nearby. The people of Skoghall, Sweden (population: 13,000) haven’t experienced the emotional highs and lows of using an ATM in six months, because that’s the last time their town has had one. But that changed the other day and their lives will never be the same again.

Sweden is one of the most cashless societies in the world (they buy everything with Ikea meatballs) and Skoghall lost its last ATM six months ago, so when a new ATM was unveiled in their town, it was a celebration. I’ve been to birthday parties that weren’t as elaborate as the opening of this ATM was. A reporter showed up to cover the important event, a musical duo yodeled out “We have gotten a new ATM” to the tune of Monty Python’s Always Look On The Bright Side and a dude on the roof threw candy into the streets.

The Daily Star claims that this video is 100% real and isn’t a scene from a Christopher Guest movie:

Were the people so mesmerized by that ATM that they didn’t realize that candy was falling from the sky? Maybe it’s because as a kid I learned I had to elbow and trip brats as soon as the piñata broke open, but I would’ve been all over that candy. Or maybe not. Maybe I would’ve been hypnotized by that beautiful cash machine too. It’s the little things (that charge you a fee and don’t work all the time) in life… Skoghall is doing it right, though. Life is too short to not throw a party for a new ATM. Welcome to the world, Skoghall ATM!

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Birthday Sluts

/ October 6, 2015

Elisabeth Shue (52)
Roshon Fegan (24)
Olivia Thirlby (29)
Ricky Hatton (37)
Melinda Doolittle (38)
Jeremy Sisto (41)
Jeff B. Davis (42)
Ioan Gruffudd (42)
Lamman Rucker (44)
Amy Jo Johnson (45)
Jacqueline Obradors (49)
Matthew Sweet (51)
Kevin Cronin (64)
Les Moonves (66)
Britt Ekland (73)
Ellen Travolta (75)

Pic: Mark Seliger

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Night Crumbs

/ October 5, 2015

Kim Kartrashian hates being pregnant and calls it the worst experience of her life. Two things: 1) Her swollen, tortured hooves agree with her and; 2) I’m sure she knows it’s all worth it, because soon she’ll have another dress-up doll to parade in front of the paps!   – HuffPo

Alicia Vikander and Michael Fassbender are probably still doing it – Lainey Gossip

Kosmopolitan has gone from telling you how to have a 15-minute orgasm to making you heave for 15 minutes by calling the Kartrashians America’s First Family  – Celebitchy

The Porn Iguana and Doug Hutchinson’s rotten potato-looking ass are proving their undying love for each other attention by renewing their vows – Reality Tea 

An ice cube sucks on an ice cube in Interview MagazineDrunken Stepfather

I don’t really see the Hammaconda in any of these pictures. I’m guessing it’s hiding because it’s embarrassed by those shorts – The Superficial 

As expected, DJ Tanner was very loving and understanding when talking about Danny Pintauro being HIV positive. But more importantly, Danny Pintauro used to work at P.F. Chang’s! Why am I just finding out about this now? I could’ve enjoyed a plate of Mongolian Beef while staring at Mona Robinson’s grandson – Towleroad

Yolanda Foster’s modeling child thinks Taylor Swift’s Girl Squad is about girl power and not cattiness. I guess nobody told her what “Bad Blood” is about – IDLYITW

Vanessa Hudgens is dressed like an American Apparel grandma and it might be the most “normal” outfit I’ve seen her in ever – Popoholic

Why is Kate Upton wearing one of Mr. Furley’s jumpsuits? – Hollywood Tuna 

ICYMI: The soft peen that made a cameo appearance during The Affair last night – Jezebel

I don’t know who this is, but he has a butt and is showing it off and that’s all we need to know – (NSFW for butt) OMG Blog

Jason Momoa and Emilia Clarke reunited – Pajiba

That shirt Kendra Wilkinson’s wearing: I want it – WWTDD

That paper towel is laced with meth, right? – The Berry 

And let’s end with Orlando Bloom’s nipples – Popsugar

Pic: Wenn.com

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