Steve Unger, the Dancing Pepaw of Utah whose hot, sweet moves were stopped by some dance-hating police officers. This shit is Footloose: The Latter Years.

Nearly every single day, 68-year-old retired anesthesiologist Steve Unger puts on a colorful ensemble, sticks his earbud headphones in, plugs it into his phone, brings up the dance music and rolls out moves that bring a touch of happiness to this shitty, shitty world. Steve dances up to 10 miles a day through the streets of Holladay and he’s known as the town’s resident dancing man. Kids wave to him and everyone loves him. Well, everyone except certain cops who fucked with his boogie back in August.

The Salt Lake Tribune says that on the afternoon of August 24th, Dancing Man Steve was waiting for his car to get fixed in nearby Cottonwood Heights when he decided he should spend the time busting out moves on the street. So like usual, he turned himself into the human form of a car dealership air dancer and danced, danced, danced! Dancing Steve’s moves are welcome in Holladay, but Cottonwood Heights wasn’t having it. The cops arrested him and charged him with disorderly conduct, failure to disclose identity and interference with arresting officer. The cops claim they got complaints from hating whores who said that Dancing Steve was distracting drivers and jumping into the street. Dancing Steve says he didn’t tell the cops who he was when they asked, because he did nothing wrong and when he asked them if he’s a danger to the community or to himself, they said, “No.”

On Wednesday, Dancing Steve did himself up in a dandy suit and danced on over to the court house to face the charges. At that time, the case wasn’t thrown out and a jury trial was scheduled for November. Prepare to pucker, because here’s Dancing Steve letting his boogie out at the court house.

Those moves must have knocked some sense into prosecutors, because shortly after that hearing, they dropped the charges against Dancing Steve. But that didn’t stop Dancing Steve from testifying before Legislature’s Law Enforcement and Criminal Justice Interim Committee about police conduct in Utah.

JUSTICE 4 DANCING STEVE! Now that he doesn’t have that dumb case to deal with, he can dance on back to Los Angeles to continue to be Drake’s one and only choreographer. I mean, the Dancing Pepaw of Utah came up with those moves in the “Hotline Bling” video, right?

Baby Jane Holzer (75)
Amandla Stenberg (17)
Ireland Baldwin (20)
Briana Evigan (29)
Jessica Stroup (29)
Miguel (30)
Izabel Goulart (31)
Meghan McCain (31)
Cat Deeley (39)
Ryan Reynolds (39)
Kaleena Kiff (41)
Steve Wilder (45)
Dr. Sanjay Gupta (46)
Brooke Theiss (46)
Augusten Burroughs (50)
Robert Trujillo (51)
Doug Flutie (53)
Nancy Grace (56)
Sam Raimi (56)
Weird Al Yankovic (56)
Martin Luther King III (58)
Dwight Yoakam (59)
Ang Lee (61)
Michael Rupert (64)
Pelé (75)
Philip Kaufman (79)
Barron Hilton (88)

Sophia Loren hates selfies and thinks some young tricks need to step away from the plastic surgeon’s scalpel. I’d like to think that Sophia Loren was coming for the Kartrashians, but then again, I’d also like to think that Sophia Loren doesn’t know what a Kartrashian is. And excuse me while I bow down to her double eyebrow situation. You can never have too many exquisite eyebrows! – Celebitchy

Jeremy Renner went on Twitter to respond to the hate he got for saying it’s not his job to try to change the gender wage gap situation. I don’t even know what his tweet means. It sounds more like something you’d tweet about marriage equality. Did Grumpy Cat’s human face twin get his issues mixed up? – Lainey Gossip 

Khloe Kartrashian released another book, which is great news for everyone, because we’ve all been saying how under-exposed she is – Drunken Stepfather

Simon Cowell and his fur pie tits are replacing Howard Stern on America’s Got Talent – Reality Tea 

Sarah Silverman’s chichis are magnificent – The Superficial 

Sochi dog saver and Olympic freeskier Gus Kenworthy has come out as gay – Towleroad

And this is what his nalgas look like since I know you were wondering – OMG Blog

If you’re in need of a trash bag, just pull one off of Nicole Scherzinger’s sleeve – Popoholic

Christie Brinkley is still drinking the same virgin blood that Keanu Reeves drinks – Hollywood Tuna 

Just what I needed today: a tribute to David Bowie’s bulge in Labyrinth – Egotastic

Marky Mark wants to fuck Will Ferrell’s hair – SOW

I want to move into this post – The Berry 

Money: Yahoo lost lots and lots of it on Community – Pajiba

Okay, remember how I repeated that rumor that Sandra Bullock adopted another baby? Well, yeah, she didn’t – Just Jared

Here’s Luke Wilson and his hairy nips? Would you? – Popsugar

Okay, but where is virgin bride’s daddy going to hang this “Certificate of Purity“? I’m going with over the toilet – Starcasm

Pic: Wenn.com

Fresh off of his “joke” about how he’s definitely drinking Donald Trump’s Kool-Aid, Anthony Mackie is back to give us more drops of wisdom from his mind. While promoting Our Brand Is Crisis (aka The Lady From The Blind Side Goes To Bolivia), Anthony did an interview with The Daily Beast where he said that democracy isn’t for every country and some people just need a dictator. Um, how Anthony Mackie hasn’t been added to the cast of The View is beyond me! Anthony didn’t stop there. He gave his thoughts about who should direct the Black Panther movie.

In case you’re not a Marvel nerd, Black Panther is a superhero who used to be the king of a fictional African nation. Chadwick Boseman is playing the title role in the Black Panther movie and Ava DuVernay, the director of Selma, was rumored to be in talks to direct it. She denied that shit and said she isn’t going to direct it. Anthony, who plays The Falcon in the Marvel movies and begged to be Black Panther, tells The Daily Beast that he doesn’t think the movie necessarily needs a black director. And then he gave an analogy that truly made me laugh out loud:

“I don’t think it’s important at all. As a director your job is to tell a story. You know, they didn’t get a horse to direct Seabiscuit! The thing is I don’t think the race of the director has to do with their ability to tell a story. I think it’s all about the director’s ability to be able to relate to that story and do it justice. I think men can direct women, and two of my greatest work experiences were with female directors. So I think it all depends. May the best man—or woman—win.”

I laughed, but Anthony did make me think. I mean, Seabiscuit should’ve been directed by a horse. Damn us humans for taking jobs away from horses! I thought Seabiscuit was awful, but I’m sure I would’ve loved it if a horse directed it. If anything, I would’ve loved the behind-the-scenes footage showing Martin Horsese directing Tobey Maguire. Thank you, Anthony Mackie, for giving me this image.

And now that Anthony mentions it, the Black Panther movie should be directed by an actual panther.

Pics: Wenn.com, iStock, Deviant Art

Our modern day Aphrodite, CoCo, has been growing her daughter, Chanel Marie, in her pink diamond-encrusted womb for a little while now and with every day that goes by, I’m more and more surprised that she hasn’t given us the true definition of pregnant elegance by doing a naked photo shoot for Hustler yet. But today, she did gift us with a tiny ounce of pregnant elegance by Instagramming this picture of her wearing the latest from Frederick’s of Hollywood’s maternity collection while posing with David Tutera. You know, David’s the one from My Fair Wedding on WE tv and also the one whose ex accused him of being a hooker whore-loving dick addict. That one.

Never mind that David Tutera has morphed into the villain from LazyTown, CoCo is once again showing the masses how it’s done. If you currently have a CASE OF THE BABIES and you’re not dressing like this, burn all your maternity clothes and immediately buy several completely sheer turtleneck gown things. This is the only maternity look you need.

The Internet formed a prayer circle around Lark Voorhies a while ago and that prayer circle doubled a few months ago when we all learned that she married a dude who was allegedly wanted by police in Arizona for threatening to murder a store owner. Lark’s mother said a while ago that she has bipolar disorder and doesn’t properly treat it, so we all thought, “What could go wrong in that marriage?!” It seemed like one of those “This Is Not Going To End Well” things and well, it’s ended, and her soon-to-be ex husband claims the entire marriage was a disaster.

Last April, Lark Voorhies made Jimmy Green her third husband in Las Vegas after meeting him on Facebook a year earlier. Just a few months after they got hitched, Lark’s mom Tricia got a restraining order against her new son-in-law. Even though Tricia didn’t want Jimmy anywhere near her, she still spent time with her daughter. Jimmy tells TMZ that Tricia is the reason why his marriage ate shit after only a few months and why he changed his Facebook status to single.

TMZ says that Lark is the one who filed for divorce. In the documents, she says that she doesn’t want to pay Jimmy any spousal support.

Jimmy tells TMZ that he would’ve been the one to file, but he doesn’t know how. I just…. I mean…. Jimmy either didn’t have the money to file or he’s not from L.A. Because I was born and raised in L.A., and the first thing they taught us in elementary school is how to file for divorce. They figured that we’d be doing that a lot in our lives.

Pic: Wenn.com