Birthday Sluts

/ October 27, 2015

Simon Le Bon (57)
Troy Gentile (22)
Erica Dasher (29)
Kelly Osbourne (31)
Patrick Fugit (33)
Vanessa Mae (37)
Scott Weiland (48)
Marla Maples (52)
Veronica Hart (59)
Robert Picardo (62)
Roberto Benigni (63)
Jayne Kennedy (64)
Fran Lebowitz (65)
Ivan Reitman (69)
Lee Greenwood (72)
John Cleese (76)
Nanette Fabray (95)

Pic: BNU

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Night Crumbs

/ October 26, 2015

Before going to some event, Goopy Paltrow got tangled up in her outfit while getting dressed and decided just to go like that. And I see her making a face that clearly says, “I bet you hating peasants are jealous of my dress because it’s strangling me and you’re not!” – Lainey Gossip 

Rita Ora got groomed by a pedo when she was 14 – Celebitchy

Shannon Beador of the Real Housewives of Orange County ran into her husband’s ex-side piece at a game and it’s amazing that she didn’t burn holes into that trick’s face with her “judgy eyes” – Reality Tea 

Okay, but why is Katy Perry dressed up like a patriotic Norma Desmond? – Drunken Stepfather

Christina Milian looks like a standby Fly Girl from the 90s and I’m into it – The Nip Slip 

Canadian-American fresh orchid Pamela Anderson is as exquisite and graceful as ever – The Superficial 

The Dixie Chicks sprinkled a whole lot of twang on Lana Del Rey’sVideo Games” – Towleroad

Mother of the century Tila Tequila wanted some attention – Starcasm

Jared Leto’s Joker looks like a Juggalo pimp – IDLYITW

How many ruffles had to die to make Jessica Biel’s ugly Victorian funeral ice skating costume? – Popoholic

That cat isn’t stealing that tiger toy! That tiger toy is it’s lovah and it’s taking it to a private place so they can spend some quality alone time together – Hollywood Tuna 

Lance Bass has been possessed by Satan – HuffPo

Note to laser tattoo removal places: Don’t be surprised if in about two weeks Blac Chyna strolls on in after she and Future break up. And I’m being generous by saying “two weeks” – Jezebel

Heidi Klum is going to be CoCo for Halloween, obviously – Popsugar

Amber Rose went on Watch What Happens Live without knowing what happens on Watch What Happens Live Just Jared

Pic: Getty

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Demi Lovato Got Upstaged By A Big Dick

/ October 26, 2015

Demi Lovato was promoting her new album “Confident” at the NYC gay club The Monster when she asked some go-go dancers to perform with her. That stripper pole wasn’t the only hard pole on that stage when a go-go dude in tight white chonies joined Demi and swayed his boner while giving himself a sensual pec self-exam.

Even though all eyeballs were on Hammaconda Jr., Demi kept on, kept on, because she’s used to dealing with try-hard dicks. I mean, she is dating Wilmer Valderrama. Thankfully, everybody got out of there alive, because at one point I thought that boner was going to knock that stripper pole down causing the entire roof to fall on all of them.

The hard dick grind show starts at around the 1 minute mark.

And you probably watched that whole clip and asked, “Wait, Demi Lovato was in that video?

via Queerty

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Naughty Girls Need Priority Boarding Too

/ October 26, 2015

I was going to write about how Ricky Gervais is going to piss off more uptight actors when he hosts the Golden Globes again next year, but who cares about that when there’s highly important news about a real A-list star to cover!

Samantha Fox (or as those of you who were born after 1985 know her as, “Samantha WHO?!”) is currently on her world tour (read: she had one gig in Lithuania) and her private jet must have broken down, because she had to fly on something called Wizz Air. (“Whizz Air, you say?” – Gerard Depardieu) The Sun says the international pop superstar was kicked off of the flight from London to Lithuania because she was a drunken diva train wreck. A source says that the messiness all started when Samantha Fox had to pay £30 for an extra carry-on bag and didn’t get priority boarding at Luton Airport. One passenger said she screamed,  “I shouldn’t have to queue with these people.” Well, she didn’t have to queue with those people, because she wasn’t allowed to board. A rep for Wizz Air wouldn’t say if Samantha Fox was the one who got told to take their drunk ass elsewhere, but did confirm that a passenger got kicked off for drinking a little too much of the sweet nectar.

“A passenger was offloaded due to abusive behaviour towards staff. The passenger seemed to be intoxicated. The effect can be worse in the air.”

Samantha Fox’s rep denied that she was boozed up and said that she was upset, because she paid the extra fee and yet those peasants in economy were allowed to board before her. They say an employee from Wizz apologized to her and put her on another flight.

Everybody in this story, except for Samantha Fox, is in the wrong! First of all, those mean passengers and staff need to find a way to grow a working heart, because Samantha Fox lost her partner of 12 years back in August so she’s probably vulnerable and emotional. Second of all, she’s right. She’s Samantha Fox, she shouldn’t have to wait in line with the regulars. Those uneducated fools should’ve recognized Samantha Fox and not only let her board first, but they should’ve taken another flight so she could have the plane all to herself. I swear, this world is filled with so many rude bitches who have zero respect. She’s Samantha Fox!

And honestly, I only posted this story so I’d have an excuse to post one of her old videos:

Pic: Wenn.com

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Prince Hot Ginge Was The Sexiest Third Wheel At The “Spectre” Premiere

/ October 26, 2015

By the way, I’m typing this on a Braille keyboard, because I’ve had THAT PICTURE of Prince Hot Ginge taped onto my face since Friday. “Did you do something to your hair? You look so much better!” is what I heard all weekend from my family and friends.

The London premiere of the 24th James Bond movie, Spectre, happened tonight and Prince Hot Ginge was there, because DUH, there was an open bar and I’m sure the place was filled with stringy dishwater blondes he could make out with behind the concession counter. PHG brought along those other two, Prince William and Duchess Kate, because they never ever get out of the house and needed a date night.

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Open Post: Hosted By Aubrey O’Day As A Slutty Cruella de Vil

/ October 26, 2015

 

YES! You know that Slutoween has officially begun when a Z-list flower does herself up like a skankified version of a Disney cartoon character to go to some men’s magazine party. I needed something to cleanse my eyeballs of Colton Haynes’ nightmare-inducing skinny Ursula, and thankfully, Aubrey O’Day came along looking like Slutella de Vil at a Maxim Halloween party.

You know, I was going to call Maxim’s Halloween party a bootleg Playboy party, but I’d rather go to a Maxim party. Because at a Maxim party, you don’t have to feel your skin crawl as you watch Hugh Hefner pick out which plastic blondes he wants in his sad sex line of terror and you don’t have to worry about tackling a trick after seeing Bill Cosby hand her a drink. Besides, at a Playboy party, will you see this bronzer-covered rose looking like Cruella de Vil if Cruella de Vil finally went to prison for animal cruelty, got out and had to trade hand jobs for her fix (Dalmatian pelts) in the alley of a dog shelter? I think not! (No, I doubt Aubrey O’Day gets invited to Playboy parties anymore, but that’s not the point!)

Pics: Splash

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