This furry weight champion of the world!

This is like Ronda Rousey vs. Holy Holm all over again! Not much is known about this thrilling Sunday morning fight video between a highly skilled professional boxing pussy and a stuffed tiger. The only thing I know about this video is that the boxing pussy was obviously trained by Mickey Goldmill, because it’s got the skills of Rocky Balboa running through its paws. It’s also obvious that this match was wrapped up before it even started. The sight of that badass pussy-slapping pussy made the tiger freeze up with fear and bitch knew not to do shit. You can almost hear it scream, “MERCY!” Yes, I’m actually narrating a fight between a cat and a stuffed animal. My life, this is what’s become of it.

The only way to watch this video is with the mute button on and “Eye of the Tiger” blasting.

And I can’t wait to see this rematch on pay-purr-view.

via Tastefully Offensive

Dick Van Dyke (90)
Taylor Swift (26)
Amy Lee (34)
Tom DeLonge (40)
Debbie Matenopoulos (41)
Christie Clark (42)
Bart Johnson (45)
Jamie Foxx (48)
NeNe Leakes (48)
Steve Buscemi (58)
Morris Day (58)
Wendie Malick (65)
Ted Nugent (67)
John Davidson (74)
Christopher Plummer (86)

Pic: Classic Showbiz

Don’t worry, Adam Sandler’s wife, if my husband wore the feet demons known as UGGs with a pair of bright blue basketball shorts out to brunch, I too would be walking with my head down in an “I’m not with him” way.

Adam Sandler released his latest maybe-future Razzie winner, The Ridiculous 6, to the world yesterday, and you would think that would be the most shameful thing Adam Sandler would do this week, but no. That honor goes to getting papped wearing a pair of brown shorty UGGs on a brunch date with his wife Jackie on Thursday. I know Adam Sandler is fully committed to looking like a hungover frat boy on laundry day, but UGGs? And in 2015? Adam NO!

Literally the ONLY thing that is absolving him of such a sin against eyes is that you can totally see the outline of his junk in those hideous basketball shorts. And yes, I feel super gross about staring at Billy Madison’s crotch area for as long as I did. Pray 4 my choices.

Pics: FameFlynet

“Is it that it’s totally healthy?” thought all the Instamoms. Well, if you replace the word “healthy” with “toxic“, then yes. That’s exactly what she means. Paraffin-faced goddess Megan Fox recently told Entertainment Tonight (via UsWeekly) how she really feels about social media, particularly kids on social media. And yeah, Megan Fox isn’t having any of it.

“I think it’s really toxic for our youth culture. There is a hierarchy in schools of who’s the cool kid based on who has the most followers and who has the most likes. It’s a really terrible message to wake up every day and have your kids going, ‘Who liked my photo?’ and ‘Who’s following me?'”

Megan’s side-eye at social media wasn’t limited to just kids. She also admitted that she quit Twitter after only five days because she kept getting not-right Tweets from Megan Fox-obsessed children.

“When I was on Twitter for five days, I would have 12 and 13-year-old kids going, ‘If you don’t follow me back, I am going to kill myself.’ I was like this is fucking awful. Parents should pay attention to that and have your kids off of it. You’re not ready for that shit when you’re a teenager. You need to be an adult before you can start messing around with that. It’s irresponsible and it’s dangerous.”

I agree – parents should pay attention to that kind of stuff. Imagine if you had a kid and you found out they were begging the actress from Transformers for a follow-back? That would be next-level devastating.

Megan does have a point about social media being like high school. One time I added someone I worked with as a friend on Facebook and they wrote “We’re just work friends” on my wall. Thankfully I didn’t have to deal with that in high school. I mean, I did – but least in high school, it was only the people within earshot of my locker who heard that shit.

Pic: Wenn.com

I was considering Photoshopping Beyonce’s head over Judy Garland’s on the poster for the 1954 version of A Star Is Born, but I’m pretty sure that’s how you write yourself a one-way ticket to Hell.

So, way way back in March, when we first heard that Bradley Cooper had replaced elderly grimace Clint Eastwood as the director of another A Star Is Born remake that was happening, we were reminded of the rumor that Clint originally wanted Beyonce to star in that shit. However, she decided to move on to a much bigger project called Blue Ivy Carter. Well, according to Page Six, Beyonce is back in. That loud furious clicking sound you just heard was one of the more tech savvy members of the Beyhive changing the title of A Star Is Born to A Legend Is Born: The Story of BEYONCE!!!! on IMDB.

A source claims that B. Coop’s remake of A Star Is Born probably won’t happen until the end of 2016 or the beginning of 2017, but he already has his star. The source says Beyonce is “a go” and was looking for an “iconic dramatic role.” What? “Looking“? I’m sorry, but Beyonce’s wig is clearly on too tight if she is unable to remember the iconic blank-eyed thespian greatness that was Xania in The Pink Panther. The source adds that development of A Star Is Born is taking such a long time, because B. Coop recently laid two giant turds (Burnt and Aloha) and he wants to get in at least one non-stinker before his remake.

Speaking of acting, Beyonce has apparently been taking acting lessons, I guess because she doesn’t want to go from “Razzie-nominated actress Beyonce” to “two-time Razzie-nominated actress Beyonce“. Today your thoughts and prayers should be with the poor unfortunate soul who has to utter the words “Um…let’s try that scene again.” I’m sure they’re damn near frozen half to death from repeated exposure to Beyonce’s ice-cold “Bitch, no” face.

Pic: Wenn.com

Number 7 on TIME magazine’s “Person of the Year” list and runner-up on the Kardashian Korporation’s Excellence In Publicity Kount Down (the winner of course is Kim – it’s always Kim) Caitlyn Jenner spoke to TIME about her transition (via Cosmopolitan), and she gave a little advice to others going through the same situation. Technically, the best advice Caitlyn Jenner could ever give to anyone would be how to pry Kris Jenner’s life-sucking claws off your soul and the speed at which to run far, far away from the Kardashian Khompound, aka two things Caitlyn Jenner is an expert at. But instead, she talked about presenting a “good image” by not looking like a dude in a dress:

“One thing that has always been important for me, and it may seem very self-absorbed or whatever, is first of all your presentation of who you are. I think it’s much easier for a trans woman or a trans man who authentically kind of looks and plays the role. So what I call my presentation. I try to take that seriously. I think it puts people at ease. If you’re out there and, to be honest with you, if you look like a man in a dress, it makes people uncomfortable. So the first thing I can do is try to present myself well. I want to dress well. I want to look good. When I go out, as Kim says, you’ve got to rock it because the paparazzi will be there.”

She says “man in a dress” like it’s a bad thing. Excuse you, Caitlyn, but some people have made a very respectable career out of looking like a man in a dress.

To be honest, I’m not surprised Caitlyn is all about “presentation” and “image“; I’m pretty sure that’s the main message of the Pledge of Fame Whore Allegiance that Kris Jenner makes them all recite every morning. “I pledge allegiance to the glam, and to the ass which made our family famous, one selfie under Kim, with money and Botox for all.”

Speaking of looking good because the paps will be there, here’s Caitlyn Jenner’s rich teenage daughter proving that she’s totally not a shit doggy mommy by taking her dogs “shopping” (ie. posing for the paps in front of the window with the least-obstructed view) yesterday.

Pics: Splash