Line Up The Blonde Models! Leonardo DiCatchAHo Is Single Again!

/ January 4, 2016

That picture of Leonardo DiCatchAHo is from the L.A. premiere of The Revenant last month. We should’ve known that his model-hungry dick was on the loose again, because that twinkle in his eyes tell me that he’s looking forward to jumping into an ocean full of blonde model poon to find his new piece-of-the-moment.

In “This Has Happened Before And It Will Happen Again” news, People says that 41-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio and his girlfriend of a few months Kelly Rohrbach are done. No, things didn’t come to an end after Leonardo spotted a disgusting wrinkle growing on her 25-year-old face and immediately called Sports Illustrated to have her replaced with a newer and fresher model. A “source” tells People that they are both just so, so busy. Leonardo is busy hustling his ass hard for that Oscar and Kelly’s busy doing what exactly I don’t know…

“They have been broken up for a few months now. They are very friendly and it’s super amicable. They are both so busy and he’s got a big movie coming out and she’s one of the biggest super models in the world. There is no other person in the picture.”

That source was either Kelly, Kelly’s publicist or someone who doesn’t know what the words “biggest,” “supermodel” and “world” mean.

Continue reading

Read more…

Colton Haynes Came Out…Maybe

/ January 4, 2016

A few years ago when he was on MTV’s Teen Wolf, Colton Haynes’ lawyer tried to scrub the Internet of the pictures of him getting into some twink-on-twink action for the now dead gay magazine XY. Colton Haynes’ team didn’t want the innocent eyes of the children tainted by the images of him doing gay stuff! Well, those days are gone and Colton Haynes may or may not have subtly come out.

On Saturday, Tumblr user pornandmariah (ha) declared how excited they were about discovering Colton Haynes’ secret gay past. Colton read pornandmariah’s post and answered by saying that his gay past was never on the shush:

coltonhaynescomesoutmaybe2015

Colton also tweeted this:

When I read the headlines this past weekend about Colton Haynes of Arrowcoming out,” I expected to see video of him yodeling at the top of his lungs about his undying love for dick while waving a rainbow flag as he rode on a hoverboard down Santa Monica Blvd. I was ready to wish him a Happy New Queer, but his response and tweet are pretty coy. Maybe by “Was it a secret?” he was referring to his gay twink spread in XY? Maybe by “No fear this year” he meant that he’s the new face of No Fear (Is that shit still around?). It’s times like these when I really need a Rosetta Stone emoji edition. Because maybe all of his emojis translate into: “Yay! I love peen!”

And here’s Colton Haynes in Miami on New Year’s Eve Day:

Pics: Splash

Read more…
SHARE

The Greatest Prophet In History Jaden Smith Is The New Face Of Louis Vuitton Womenswear

/ January 4, 2016

Actor, rapper, down-low Scientologist, rich kid, world-renowned scientist, inventor of gender fluidity, Twitter poet, stoned toddler and reincarnation of Moses, Jaden Smith, can add the title of “supermodel” to his resume now. The 17-year-old genderless Galileo was named the new face of Louis Vuitton Women’s Spring/Summer 2016 campaign. Louis Vuitton’s creative director, Nicolas Ghesquiere, posted a picture on Instagram of a coma eye’d Jaden wearing a skirt and a shirt made out of my abuelita’s macrame plant holder while posing next to three models who look like Charlie’s Angels if Charlie’s Angels were hungry alien praying mantises from a faraway planet where happiness doesn’t exist. I thought the model all the way to the left was The Curious Case of Ali Lohan until I realized that’s impossible. If Ali Lohan shot a Louis Vuitton campaign, Page Six would’ve already posted a story about how Dina “White Oprah” Lohan slurred out the words,” Do yooze know who I am? My daughter is the fashe of Louise Veetwan,” as she got kicked out of a club on Long Island.

Nicholas added this little note on Instagram:

“Happy to introduce Jaden Smith @christiaingrey in the new SS16 @louisvuitton ad Campaign photographed by Bruce Weber.”

Jaden Smith’s Instagram name is @christiangrey, which only makes sense because it came from the mind of Jaden Smith.

You know, I am all for this, because the more time Jaden Smith spends enlightening the modeling world with his sleep walking poses, the less time he’ll have to make more cinematic turds. It’s a good thing.

And here’s another one of Jaden without his Not-So-Mighty Power Rangers:

We’re all probably rolling our eyes at this pose. Jaden and Louis Vuitton probably think that pose is super high fashion, but please. All of us do that pose when we fall asleep while typing at our desks on a Monday morning.

 

Read more…
SHARE

Justin Bieber And Stephen Baldwin’s Daughter Make Their Attention Whore Love Official On Instagram

/ January 4, 2016

I’m starting my 2016 off with the sicks. I caught some kind of sinus infection cold thing while I was in Denver for New Year’s and strangely enough, my usual HOlistic treatment of choice (weed, booze, porn and Slim Jims) hasn’t killed it yet. I know, weird. So the past few days, I’ve been hacking up disgusting phlegm balls that look like a cross between mutilated Ghoulies and the butt discharge of Jabba the Hutt. But yet, spitting up globs of alien jizz haven’t grossed me out as much as this picture of Justin Bieber sucking face did. I know, my bitter ass obviously doesn’t understand pure love.

Stephen Baldwin’s Instagram model daughter, Hailey Baldwin, has apparently been Justin Bieber’s casual hook-up trick for a little while now. A couple of months ago, the Biebs told Billboard that he and Hailey Baldwin weren’t a thing. But last night, she may have been officially upgraded to main piece when the Biebs posted a picture of them airing out their armpits while touching lips on Instagram. That’s the “raise your hand if you’re sure you’re a thirst bucket” pose. The two spent the holidays together in Anguilla and St. Barts.

So, let’s see, Hailey Baldwin is doing Justin Bieber who did Selena Gomez who may be doing Niall Horran who is in One Direction with Harry Styles who may be double bearding with Kendull Jenner who is friends with Hailey Baldwin and Gigi Hadid who is doing Zayn Malik who was in One Direction with Niall and Harry.  Those messes are the Wonky McValtrex, Brandon Davis, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Starving Nachos, Mischa Barton and Harry Morton of 2016. And I’m just bracing myself for when some magazine inevitably calls them “the new Brat Packagain.

And after the cut are a few more Instagram pictures of Young Hollywood High’s most annoying couple, including a picture of Justin Bieber looking like the star of Nick Jr.’s remake of Miami Vice.

Continue reading

Read more…

Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ January 4, 2016

The Magic Carpet Dog!

Holiday break is over and some of us have to peel our hungover, lazy ass carcasses from the couch where it’s been for a few days while binge-watching Making A Murderer. (Side note: Barb Janda should be everyone’s hair beauty icon.) So let’s get back into this bitch hard with an extremely important breaking news video of a dog sitting on a pink blanket as his human takes him for a beautiful ride filled with dreams and magic. Sorry, Princess Jasmine, but no trick has ever ridden a magic carpet blanket like this trick.

Before this video, hoverboards were good for only 2 things: dazzling Catholics in the Philippines and giving hos a laugh as they watch someone eat ground after falling off of one. And now there’s 3 good uses for a hoverboard. A human thew a blanket over one and took his dog for a ride. I can show you the wooooorld….

That’s pretty much me in 2016. My lazy ass is going to sit on a blanket as I’m dragged around while thinking to myself, “When is this stupid shit going to end?!” Happy 2016!

via Arbroath

Read more…
SHARE

Birthday Sluts

/ January 4, 2016

Vanity (57)
Coco Jones (18)
Charlyne Yi (30)
Erin Cahill (36)
Jeannie Mai (37)
Graham Elliot (39)
Jill Marie Jones (41)
Harmony Korine (43)
Julia Ormond (51)
Beth Gibbons of Portishead (51)
Yvan Attal (51)
Dot Jones (52)
Dave Foley (53)
Till Lindemann (53)
Patrick Cassidy (54)
Michael Stipe (56)
April Winchell (56)
Julian Sands (58)
Patty Loveless (59)
Ann Magnuson (60)
Tina Knowles (62)
Grace Bumbry (79)
Dyan Cannon (79)

Pic: Getty

Read more…
SHARE

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >