Serena Williams Might Retire From Tennis If She Gets Pregnant Again

June 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Serena Williams is called the G.O.A.T. for a reason, and it wouldn’t shock me at all to see her fifty years from now beating someone half her age on the court from the comfort of her Jazzy scooter. That might not happen, and not because scooters will be replaced in the future by a robot called the GRANN-E that carries the elderly around. Serena revealed to InStyle that she gets pregnant again, there’s a possibility she’ll retire from tennis.

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Mel B Is Still Insisting The Spice Girls Are Reuniting

June 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Because divorce lawyers don’t come cheap, Mel B still has her fangs sunk into the idea of the Spice Girls getting back together for easy money since there are people like me who’d see they are coming to town and think, “Eh, why not?” If a nuclear war were to ever happen, and LAWD knows it looks like it might, I’m pretty sure the only thing left would be Scary Spice insisting the Spice Girls are days from launching a reunion tour. That’s why when she was the guest co-host of the fourth hour of Today this morning, she blabbed about how she and the other four – Victoria Beckham included – will be going on tour soon. Sure, Jan. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By Bootleg Robert Redford And A Freshly Bathed Leonardo DiCaprio 

June 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Sharon Tate’s sister just found a new favorite picture to wipe her post-shit ass with….

The Quentin Tarantino Manson Murders movie, that nobody but those involved want, is currently shooting in Los Angeles, and to give us a little sneak peek of the foolery that will be bestowed upon us when this shit comes out next year, Leonardo DiCatchAHo posted this picture on Instagram of himself and Brad Pitt as western actor Rick Dalton and Rick’s stunt double. Okay, but if Brad is going to be somebody’s stunt double, he looks like 50-something Robert Redford’s stunt double. Brad Pitt is trying to be Robert Redford so bad that he’s close to shitting out some Newman’s Own popcorn. Oh wait, that’s Paul Newman. I guess all hot white movie star dudes from the olden days look the same to me.

Leonardo on the other hand… It’s amazing what a Silkwood shower, a Hazmat spray down, an industrial-strength comb, the best Petco groomers in the country, man Spanx, and a beard machete can do. Leo is looking good, and I’m sure nobody is happier than his young piece of the moment, because she was probably sick of getting flea bites on her lips every time she went down on him.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood also stars Margot Robbie (as Sharon Tate), Dakota Fanning (as Squeaky Fromme), Al Pacino, James Marsden, Kurt Russell, Damian Lewis (as Steve McQueen), Timothy Olyphant, Burt Reynolds, Michael Madsen, Zoe Bell, Tim Roth, Emile Hirsch, and Luke Perry.

You know, there is a reason why this movie exists. It exists to give Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio the opportunity to apologize to Luke Perry for having the careers he should have! Justice 4 Luke Perry!

Pic: Instagram

 

A Magazine Claims That Priyanka Chopra Will Be Engaged To Nick Jonas This Summer

June 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Last month we learned that 25-year-old Nick Jonas and 35-year-old Priyanka Chopra were rumored to be dating. A few weeks ago we learned that things had gotten serious enough that Nick brought Priyanka as his plus-one to a relative’s wedding. And now, according to an entertainment magazine from Indian, they’re just weeks away from getting engaged. Sorry Pete Davidson, but it looks like you’re not the only famous 20-something to impulsively rush out and buy a ring for the lady you’ve been seeing for a minute.

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Terry Crews Will Not Appear In “The Expendables 4” Because He Wouldn’t Drop His Sexual Assault Suit

June 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Terry Crews spoke about his own #MeToo experience back in October when he alleged WME agent Adam Venit grabbed his crotch at a party in 2016. While a lot of people were admiring Terry for his bravery, there were some who weren’t happy he opened his mouth at all. And according to Terry, he’s now being punished for it.

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