SHOCKING: Kelly Dodd Of “The Real Housewives Of Orange County” Is Planning To Divorce Her Husband

September 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Actually, based on how this season of Real Housewives of Orange County is going, what will be SHOCKING is if any of you know who the hell Kelly Dodd is. Kelly blabbed to the The Daily Mail that her marriage is over, and, if you watch the show, you’re probably serving this with a dose of “Sure, Jan” since Kelly and her husband Michael Dodd also called it quits back in 2012.

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The Disney Channel Is Remaking “Hocus Pocus”

September 28, 2017 / Posted by:

You would think that remaking what is arguably (to me at least) the best movie about witchcraft would be the sort of thing that would surely curse a person for life. But apparently someone at the Disney Channel isn’t afraid of a spooky black cat slipping into their office and spiking their latte with a little eye of newt. Deadline says that the Disney Channel has decided to remake the 1993 Halloween classic Hocus Pocus as a TV movie.

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Tom Cruise Swears That His “Valkyrie” Bubble Butt Is Real

September 28, 2017 / Posted by:

In the opening scene of 2008’s Valkyrie, Tom Cruise gets knocked over by an explosion and as he gets up, he sticks dat ass out and it looks like he’s presenting his hungry hole to a top. An ass aficionado (assicionado?) on Twitter, perfectly named @iluvbutts247, noticed the giant Tempur-Pedic peach on Tom’s ass area, and in their expert opinion, it looked like he was wearing the pillow bump that Katie Holmes allegedly wore as the real Suri Cruise was being grown in a Scientology lab on Gold Base. But while Tommy may be a big fake ass, he didn’t wear one in Valkyrie, or so he says.

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Denis Villenevue In Talks To Direct Beleaguered Cleopatra Movie

September 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Mean girls Scott Rudin and Amy Pascal are not ready to give up on making Cleopatra happen. After the 2014 Sony hack revealed how they really felt about proposed star Angelina Jolie, things looked like they were heading in the direction of a gargantuan celluloid disaster the likes of which had not been seen since, well, since Cleopatra. But now, The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Blade Runner 2049 director Denis Villeneuve is in talks to take on the probably cursed project.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Adorable Popcorn Thief Who Repeatedly Stole From Prince Hot Ginge 

September 28, 2017 / Posted by:

The world is not a fair place at all, and I learned that again today when I watched a video from a volleyball match at the Invictus Games in Toronto. If I was seated next to Prince Hot Ginge in the stands and stuck my hand into his popcorn bag, I wouldn’t have a hand anymore, because the royal guards would chop it off with a sword before dragging me off to a dungeon where they’d shackle my stump to a wall and leave me there for eternity! But when an adorable little girl does it, she’s met with awwwws and ovary-busting faces from PHG. This world really is so prejudiced!

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