Since Charlotte Rampling is doing the slow two-step away from her recent comments that this year’s Oscar boycott is racist against white people (comments she now says were “misinterpreted” and that what she really meant to say was that “Diversity in our industry is an important issue that needs to be addressed“), French actress Julie Delpy has decided to step into this mess and pick up where she left off. Except Julie didn’t need to borrow any notes from Charlotte, because her position is less about race and more about having a vagina.

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The blue and pink coochie graphic of Winter Storm Jonas.

Usually when a weather storm is shaped like genitals it’s shaped like a fat, cut, mushroom-headed dick. Well, Mother Nature decided to switch it up this time and pound the Northeast with a big twat instead.

If the view outside your window looks like the inside of January Jones’ ice cold heart, then you’re most likely in Winter Storm Jonas right now. Two days before Winter Storm Jonas squirted snow and ice all over the Northeast and the Mid-Atlantic, this cooch-looking weather graphic made the rounds. I know, a storm named Jonas that’s shaped like a poon. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. This isn’t the first time that a vagina has made Kevin Jonas scared and cold. It also sort of looks like the City of Brotherly Love is getting poked by the Jonas clit.

One reader who sent this to me called it a blue vagina and I didn’t appreciate that. “Blue vagina” immediately made me think of “blue waffle” and nobody needs to think of that ever again.

And if you’re currently inside of the icy Jonas vagina, I hope you’re staying safe and have stocked up on the essentials. The essentials, of course, being booze, weed, Chili Cheese Fritos and a hard drive full of already downloaded porn.

via Deadspin (For Brandon and Lea S.)

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Julia Jones (35)
Tito Ortiz (41)
Ewen Bremner (44)
Lisa Snowdon (44)
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Gail O’Grady (53)
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Richard Dean Anderson (66)
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Rutger Hauer (72)
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Chita Rivera (83)
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The hillbilly chipmunk and the Hemsworth who isn’t Thor got re-engaged. The only good thing that can come out of this is that Miley Cyrus’ oh-so-edgy-hippie-raver act rubs off on Liam Hemsworth and he starts posting pictures of his pink-dyed dick bush and stripper glitter-covered ass cheeks on Instagram – Lainey Gossip 

Please, everyone knows that Brad Pitt’s new face was made with the pristine skin of the virgins that St. Angie Jolie catches and drains of blood – Celebitchy

Prepare to overdose on potent class when you lay your eyes upon Mimi in a Louis Vuitton bikini – Drunken Stepfather

Fox tried to pay Gillian Anderson half of what David Duchovny was making, but Scully was not having it – Jezebel

Oh, Justin Bieber just really, really wanted Ariana Grande Latte to spit on his donut hole – The Superficial 

Ramona Singer from The Real Housewrecks of New York City is going to start selling hair. If it’s the same quality as Ramona Pinot Grigio, you’d probably be better off buying your hair from a dirty mop – Reality Tea 

Macklemore put out an almost 9 minute-long song about white privilege and he shits on Iggy Azalea and Miley Cyrus in it. I’m going to need to do something stronger than the good shit to press play on that – IDLYITW

I already have Monday brain, because it took me way too long to realize that Megan Fox’s kid doesn’t have a black plate taped to his face in real life – Popoholic

Ray-J just fell in love… – WWTDD

Watching this hot piece get out of a tub full of putty tells me that putty would still make a better ass lube than KY Jelly – Towleroad

WONDER CHICHIS presented by Kelly Brook – Hollywood Tuna 

What in the hell did this dog do to deserve to be compared to Jabba the Trump?  – The Berry 

Will Smith’s first wife denie$ that she caught him butt servicing Benny Medina – Boy Culture

Jon Gosselin went on a TV show to cry about something again – Starcasm

Stephanie Tanner is engaged and PLOT TWIST, she’s not engaged to Harry Takayama! – Popsugar

Zac Efron’s doctor still hasn’t cured his allergic reaction to shirts and again, I’m not going to bitch about it. But I am going to bitch about how the prop department needs to pump up his bulge – Just Jared

Pic: Getty 

Kate Hudson’s ASSistant posted this picture of her putting her nalgas on display in a bathtub all the way back in November and no one really saw it until today when UsWeekly wet farted up the story behind her behind.

Kate supposedly started dropping her 36-year-old cooze on Nick Jonas’ 23-year-old peen back in September, but things were only casual and they stopped bumping it for a while. A source tells UsWeekly that Kate wanted to lure Nick back into her fuck parts so she got her assistant to post a picture of her cub bait ass on Instagram. I know, there’s so much water in that tub and yet she’s still thirsty. Since Nick is a gold medal-winning gay baiter, Kate should’ve written “Gay Club Here” over her butt cheeks if she really, really wanted him to pay a visit to her ass.

Kate’s Jonas bait worked because they’re doing it again. Kate’s uncensored ass crack is after the jump.

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EUGENE BOSTICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I’m going to be Tori Spelling this month, because I’m going to bounce checks left and right thanks to the fact that I really broke the budget on that picture and those special effects. But it’s worth it and more importantly…..

After nearly 17 million votes (give or take 16,999,9980 votes), Eugene Bostick, Texas’s Patron Saint of Dogs and the leader of the doggy train, has become the first Hot Slut of the Year since 2009. St. Eugene was Hot Slut of the Day on September 24, 2015, he became Hot Slut of the Month on October 12, 2015, and on this historic day he has been crowned our new Hot Slut King. Eugene was up against The DGAF Pussy and Roger the Buff Kangaroo. Here’s how the votes went:

The DGAF Pussy – 31.94%
Roger The Buff Kangaroo – 26.37%
Eugene Bostick – 41.69%

Eugene now joins Bai Ling, Harvey Price (It was the early days of Dlisted, okay?), Phoebe Price, Spaghetti Cat and STAINS in the HSOTY Hall of Fame. Take your victory lap, Eugene!

Thanks to everyone who voted and thanks to everyone who dropped a HSOTD idea into my inbox last year. Till next year when Eugene Bostick passes off the crown to Joan Collins!

Pic: Bob Booth/Forth Worth Star-Telegram