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Pic: @aliciakeys

In the event you’re one of the thousands of people who are currently living My Snow-Called Life (copyright: Ken Jennings) and want some extra heat, here’s something that should warm you up. Steven Tyler was stranded New York City after an appearance on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert, so he decided to kill some time yesterday by going for a stroll in the snow with his daughter, Mia. Since the only people out in the snow are either pandas or reporters telling you to stay inside, Steven and Mia accidentally wandered into a live blizzard broadcast by CNN. That’s when Steven got all kinds of cute. Maybe it’s because he was all bundled up like a toddler. Regardless, you’re going to want to grab an absorbent towel, because Steven Tyler waving to his grandson Milo at the 0:33 mark will melt all the icicles off your heart.

"I'm going to hunker down" for the storm, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler tells CNN. #Blizzard2016 https://t.co/eXrawJSoci https://t.co/ZpfmmrvCJU

— CNN (@CNN) January 23, 2016

The only thing I can’t figure out is why Steven Tyler was walking through the snow. You’d think at least one of Steven’s dogs would have offered to strap on a harness and pull him around in a sled. Wait, what am I saying? Those dogs are rich; the only thing they’re doing is sipping a hot mug of Alpo by the fire.

Pic: Steven Tyler

It looks like we can upgrade Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom’s situation from “Flirting” to “Engaging in low-pressure social activities together.” Be careful you two, or your relationship is bound to get whiplash from moving so fast.

Shortly after the booze-induced brain fog wore off from the night before, everyone ran to the cafeteria and started whispering about how Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom were seen “flirting” and “sharing a vape pen” during a Golden Globes afterparty. Clearly they enjoyed all that flirting and vaping, because UsWeekly says were seen together backstage during a performance of a play in Culver City on Thursday night. But did they share a vape pen???

Evidence of Katy and Orlando’s casual date also showed up online when they took a selfie with the play’s star and he threw it up on Instagram. However, the most IMPORTANT part of this story is that it looks like Katy and Orlando were on a double-date with 90s legend (in my mind) Vinessa Shaw! It’s OK, I’ll forgive you for not noticing such an significant detail; your eyes no doubt skipped right past Kimberly Mullen from Ladybugs and went straight to Orlando Bloom’s bad boy earring. If you want to know what the play was about, I wouldn’t ask Katy Perry. I’m sure she spent the entire time texting her friends: “OMG am sitting next to Allison from Hocus Pocus.”

Speaking of Orlando’s sexy cool dad earring, here’s more of Orlando strolling out of The Nice Guy last night wearing pretty much the exact same outfit he wore on his date with Katy Perry. Fun Fact: the photo agency tells me he left The Nice Guy and went to a strip club. Dirty clothes and a trip to the strippers? Watch out, John Mayer, you’ve got some competition!

Pics: Instagram, Splash

Which is weird, because you’d think that admitting you’ve recently been within 10 feet of the physical manifestation of an egg salad fart is something you’d never, ever admit to. Then again, I shouldn’t be that surprised; when it comes to the Duggars, the shame bridge was covered in gasoline and lit on fire long ago.

Josh Duggar’s wife, Anna Duggar – seen above in happier times before everyone learned that her husband was the definition of gross – hasn’t really said much since her husband shuffled off to sex rehab in August. The only recent update we got about Josh and Anna was that he might have busted a conjugal visit fetus into her babymaker. Well, I guess Anna was getting tired of strangers approaching her on the street, grabbing her by the shoulders, and whispering “Honey, you need to look at your life“, because she released a statement on the Duggar family website (via People) yesterday about how she’s doing. She also casually mentioned her visit with Josh in sex rehab, but thankfully, she kept it nice and vague.

“Many have asked how I am doing. So many have asked that its actually humbling and touching. 2015 was the most difficult year of my life. Yet, amazingly I’ve found that in my own life crisis God has drawn near to me (“He’s near to the brokenhearted” Psalms 34:18) and my faith has been more precious to me than ever before. Just recently I visited Josh. It was an important step on a long difficult road. I want to thank all of you for your prayers and your messages of hope. I can never express how your kindness and prayers have brought encouragement when I needed it most—outpacing the grief and discouragement at every turn. I trust that God will continue to show His love and tenderness toward us and bring beauty from ashes—somehow—as only He can do. Please continue to pray for me, Josh and our children.”

Anna, you don’t have to ask for more prayers; I’m sure God is up to his ears in Duggar-related prayers. Sure, the majority of said prayers are people seeing the name “Josh Duggar” pop up in their news feed and praying that they’re not about to read more gross details about his life, but still. God has probably had to hire extra staff to handle all those incoming Duggar-related prayers.

Pic: Anna Duggar

When Nick Carter was arrested two weeks ago for being all kinds of drunk at a place called the Hog’s Breath Saloon in Florida and choking out a bouncer because they wouldn’t let him pour any more booze down his throat, even Florida was like “Slow down, Nick Carter – that’s TOO Florida.” Apparently Nick Carter has finally realized that, yeah, he got a little too Florida that day, and now he wants you to know he’s sorry about it. Nick typed up a little apology on Twitter yesterday. Tip: Nick’s tweets are 1000x more entertaining if you pretend they were written by Mummy Nick from the video for “Everybody“.

I am human and at times it can be a struggle to balance a healthy lifestyle. I'm not perfect and for that I am sorry.

— Nick Carter (@nickcarter) January 23, 2016

When we fall we have to get up and keep on walking. I hope you stay by my side and continue to walk with me.

— Nick Carter (@nickcarter) January 23, 2016

Is it just me or does it sound like Nick yanked his apology tweets from a Christian bookstore’s Facebook wall? No, I’m sure he thought them all up himself with no help from either his lawyer or the Backstreet Boys’ PR person. One person who probably didn’t help him write it was his brother Aaron Carter, because he was too busy dealing with his own mess. TMZ says Aaron flipped out on a fan at a concert in Virgina earlier this week after they asked him to sing “I Want Candy“. Apparently Aaron wasn’t into that shit, told the fan “I’m 28, honey, and I’m grown” and walked off stage for a bit. TMZ has the video of Aaron’s “I’m grown” moment, which you can watch here.

Okay, but to be fair to that fan, if Aaron wasn’t going to sing “I Want Candy“, what else did he have planned? Three different versions of “Aaron’s Party” followed by an acoustic performance of “Crazy Little Party Girl“? Somewhere in Hell, a tortured soul is like “Hey, I have that album!”

Pic: Splash

Because Sarah Palin’s Meth Libs endorsement speech is still assaulting our brains (I literally can’t get the words “bitter-clingin” out of my head), Saturday Night Live decided to call up the world’s foremost expert in Sarah Palin cosplay and see if she’d be willing to drag her a bit during the cold open. Clearly there’s no amount of Jonas snow that could keep Tina Fey away from the chance to bust out some crazy Sarah Palin performance art, because she showed up. Although to be fair, I’m pretty sure anyone would risk frostbite on their butthole if it meant the opportunity to wear that gorgeous “I’m reporting your ass to the HOA” wig and Sarah’s super classy beaded jacket.

So basically the joke here is that a stinky earwax-covered Q-tip like Donald Trump thinks that Sarah Palin is busted ball of crazy. I don’t know about that; after all, he did just tell people he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and not lose any voters. I think that’s what’s known as the dumbass pot calling the dumbass kettle dumb.

For those of you wondering “Wait, didn’t Tina Fey just host SNL?“, yes, she did. But technically last night’s host was professional trick whooper Ronda Rousey, who was decent for someone who has been hit in the head so many times. She was joined by musical guest Selena Gomez, who did a spot-on impression of a Bratz Babyz Crazy Karaoke doll.

I did enjoy Tina’s not-so-subtle shout out to Sarah Palin’s loser son Track. I’m sure that as soon as Sarah figured out how to switch the dictation settings on her iPad from English to ‘Laskan (Sarah don’t do books and pens), she made a note that says: “Tell Track’s lawyer that he should plead not guilty of nothin’ but committin’ some crimes.“