Daisy Fuentes And Richard Marx Remind You They’re Still A Thing By Getting Married Again
When Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Aspen back in December, my brain though “Well that’s nice” and then promptly filed said information into the trash, along with what I ate for lunch and the plot of the 1985 film Perfect. So obviously I got a raging case of Groundhog Day when I saw that Daisy Fuentes and Richard Marx got married in Los Angeles last night. Thankfully, my brain doesn’t empty the trash that often, so I was able to go in and confirm that, yes, these two are already married and, no, I’m not losing my mind.
According to Karent Sierra (yes, former RHOM cast member Karent Sierra), the guest list at Daisy and Richard’s Aspen wedding was limited to close family only. So Daisy and Richard decided to throw themselves a second Aspen-themed wedding because none of their friends were at the first one. Daisy and Richard didn’t do the whole vow thing, but they did have bunch of fake snow and played a video of their Aspen wedding on a constant loop.
E! says the guest list at Daisy and Richard’s second wedding also included Ringo Starr, Kenny G, and David Foster. Oh my god, that’s like a waiting room’s dream.
Daisy and Richard apparently took the Aspen theme all the way to the reception dress code by asking their guests to show up wearing “Aspen attire.” Okay, someone failed here. Neither Daisy or Richard, or any of their friends were wearing Aspen attire. There wasn’t a single pair of neon ski pants, neon ski boots, Bollé goggles, or white turtleneck to be seen. And yes, I’m basing everything I know about “Aspen attire” on this Juicy Fruit commercial.
Pics: Daisy Fuentes, Karent Sierra
The Porn Star Who Was Suing Josh Duggar Dropped Her Case
Danica Dillon threw a lawsuit at Quiverfull Garbage Pail Kid Josh Duggar last November for causing her emotional and physical pain by allegedly getting really rough with her during sex. Danica has now dropped the lawsuit and says that she made it all up. In related news, the Duggars have just filed a copyright infringement lawsuit against Danica Dillon because telling blatant lies for profit is their game and they don’t appreciate her stealing it!
The Coen Brothers On #OscarsSoWhite: “The Oscars Are Not That Important”
Because every Hollywood type and their dog are being asked their thoughts on this year’s Oscar boycott (I’m pretty sure there’s a reporter holding a mic up to the dog from The Danish Girl as I type this), Joel and Ethan Coen were recently asked how they felt about the #OscarsSoWhite situation. The Coen Brothers have won four Oscars and have been nominated for a billion more (the film they wrote Bridge of Spies is nominated for six this year), so you’d think they would have lots of thoughts on the subject. As it turns out, the Coen Brothers don’t exactly give a Fargo-dipped fuck about any of this.
Behold, One Of The Greatest Singers In America!
One time when I was at my mom’s house, we were watching Access Hollywood, or another one of those type of shows, and they showed a clip of Jessie J. My mom wasn’t joking when she said, “I didn’t know that Pink is from England.” I should’ve said to my mom that I didn’t know she just got back from a long vacation on another planet, because that Susan Powter-ass wannabe in front of us is one of the greats of all-time! Yes, she would’ve slapped me for talking smart, but she needs to know who our new Whitney Houston is!
Jessie J (aka that Q-Tip who yodeled out Grease Is The Word at the beginning of Grease Live) tells Women’s Health UK (via The Sun) that it gives her the sads knowing that her own homeland of the UK doesn’t appreciate her for the legendary gift that she is. Thank God for America, though, because Jessie J says that in this country we recognize her as being one of the greats. If you actually know what a Jessie J is, this is your cue to make the same confused face she’s making in that pic. If you don’t know what a Jessie J is, don’t bother Googling. You’ll just be re-directed to Dictionary.com’s definition of “delusion.” The legend (in her own peroxide-bleached mind) said this about herself:
“It makes me sad. I’ve done the Grammys, the VMAs… My profile in America is that I’m kind of celebrated as one of the greatest singers — and I love it. I want to be up there with the Celine Dions, Whitneys, Beyoncés, and Arethas. I go hard because I hope and pray that one day people look back and go, ‘She could really fucking sing.’”
Jessie J should’ve specified which America, because it sure as hell ain’t North, Central, South, West or East. But really, Jessie J has always been like room temperature tap water to me. But now I’m a fan! I mean, I don’t think she’s one of the greatest singers in America. However, I do think that she’s one of the greatest comedians in the world!
Pic: Women’s Health UK
Katy Perry’s Latest Date With Orlando Bloom Almost Got Crashed By John Mayer
Katy Perry and her current maybe-boyfriend Orlando Bloom are still doing the whole casual relationship thing (their matchmaker, that vape pen, must be so proud), and according to Page Six, shit almost got nine levels of awkward on their last date.
Katy and Orlando were attending a birthday dinner the Sunset Tower Hotel on Wednesday night with a whole mess of famous types, like Jennifer Aniston and Jason Bateman. And as luck (or that vengeful bitch karma) would have it, guess who just so happened to saunter into the Sunset Tower as they were having dinner? Patient zero for vaginal vinegar poisoning himself, John Mayer. A witness claims John skipped the bar and made a beeline for the elevators, and they *think* it’s because he knew two of his ex-girlfriends were inside. Or maybe he hauled ass to the elevators because he was six seconds from a butt blowout? You don’t know, witness!
Of course there is a chance John Mayer knew Katy Perry was in the bar with his replacement. I wouldn’t put it past that sneaky bimbo to use his boner like a divining rod and track down his exes. But clearly his inner Jiminy Cricket told him to leave them alone, and Katy and Orlando were able to enjoy their date without having to do that fake as hell “Oh heeeyyyy” when you run into an ex in public.
As for how things are going between Katy and Orlando, Page Six says several witnesses confirm that Katy and Orlando’s flirt game is still strong.
“Orlando and Katy had that new-relationship glow about them. They were cuddling and flirting with each other all night.”
Meanwhile, another witness described Orlando like this: “He looks like an old baby.” I have no idea what the hell that means either, but I love it. I’m sure there are at least a dozen Hollywood-types asking their plastic surgeons “Can you make me look like an old baby?” as we speak.
Pic: Splash
Cuba Gooding Jr. Spills The Secrets Of Tom Cruise’s Beauty
Cuba Gooding Jr. was on Watch What Happens Live last night to promote Shapiro Brows: The Mini-Series Event and that shifty Siamese Cat named Andy Cohen got him to talk about whether or not Scientology’s sexiest pin-up Tom Cruise has pulled, nipped, tweaked or pricked his face. As everyone knows, Cuba and Tommy did Jerry Maguire together and they’ve stayed friends. During a game of the Spill the Tea! last night, Andy asked Cuba to spill the tea on the secret to Tommy’s beauty.