The other members of No Doubt (her ex-bf from her teen years, the guy in the diaper, and the…there’s another dude right? He’s tall?) finally admitted to themselves what the rest of us have known since the mid-90s. They’re merely overly dramatic doodler Gwen Stefani’s back-up band! With realization comes action, and they’ve tossed her out on her tartan bondage pants and 70s coke whore wigs and gotten a new guy!

Yeah, they’ve replaced their female lead singer with a dude. His name is Davey Havok, and he’s normally fronting a band called AFI. You know you’ve annoyed the very lifeforce out of your band when they replace you with someone of the opposing gender.

Billboard sez (via E!) that the band recruited Havok to take Gwen’s place when she’s busy flying solo (and cheesing it for the cameras with Blake Shelton for the umpteenth time. Seriously, spend a night at home. We get it. Cross-promotion is the newest fuck position. Check).

Obviously they got sick of waiting around while she named children badly and spun around in that stupid judging chair. They’ve reportedly already recorded a full album and are shoppng it around for a record deal. There’s no word yet on whether they’ll be using “No Doubt” as their band name. They should use “Full of Doubt” because this shit’s going nowhere. I’m not trying to hate. I liked “Spiderwebs” as much as the next 90s power pop-appreciating homosexual but let’s be truthful. Someone named Davey caterwauling a cover of “Don’t Speak” is not the look. Although, seeing as that’s the worst song of all time, it would probably be an improvement.

As you’ve probably read, Gwen dropped the track listing for her new record as well as the first single. You can listen to “Make Me Like You” below.

Check out more pics of Gwen mean-muggin’ the paps and taking her kid to church in North Hollywood last weekend in the gallery.

Pics: WENN

Good for her. I see Emma Thompson and I are both writing Babs Johnson’s name on the presidential ballot come November. As reported by London Live (via Vanity Fair), The Grand Duchess of DontGiveAFuck-stan (Exhibit A: that outfit) was attending the British Film Awards when she was asked about this year’s pale and tragic Oscar nominations. Q: How would you solve the lack of diversity at the Oscars, Em? A: Kill em’ all and let Bruce Vilanch sort it out!

“Let’s face it, the Oscar membership is mainly old, white men. That’s the fact of it. So, either you wait for them all to die,” said before jokingly offering up another option. “Or kill them off slowly—I mean, I don’t know. There’s so many options, aren’t there?”

There really are – bludgeoning, stabbing, shooting, riding lawn mower, wedgies…(no, for real)

Nanny McPhee’s got a point despite her newly admitted tendency towards sadism. “Slowly?” Yeesh.

Emma also described the whole controversy as “hilarious,” noting that “it’s no change there. It’s not as if [the Oscar nominations have] ever been awash with people of color.” Emma doesn’t just throw shoes, she throws truth!

Check out more pics of Emma Thompson at the press night for Guys and Dolls at the Savoy Theater in London last month in the gallery.

Pics: WENN

Breakfast Club!

Every morning before sunrise when Madonna gets into her coffin to sleep, she lets out a breath of regret, because she still can’t believe that she left the band Breakfast Club before they really hit it big with the song of 1987 “Right On Track.” It was the biggest mistake of her life and imagine what her career could’ve been if she stuck with them.

Breakfast Club was a band from NYC that was born in 1979 and lasted until the early 90s. Madge was the drummer of it (and she dated the lead singer) for a minute in the early 80s and she quit that bitch to join a different band. They had a few singles and their one album came out in 1987. Wikipedia says that they recorded a second album but they never put it out. They’re apparently planning to put it out this year.

“Right On Track” was their only hit. I’m a shitty child of the late 80s, because I don’t have “Right On Track” in my iTunes playlist named All-Time Classics. But my ears were filled with pop nostalgia the other day when a liquor store I was in played it. The only thing more perfect than the song was the video, which is pretty much what a barf puddle from the late 80s would look like. It looks like it was shot on a bootleg Pee-wee’s Playhouse set and it has a chorus of singing chickens in it. What more could you want? They were also ahead of their time fashion-wise because they dressed like Johnny Depp in Benny & Joon long before Benny & Joon was made.

But more importantly, Breakfast Club will be treated like VIPs when they get to heaven because they put pink Earth angel Angelyne in their video. They are automatically saints for that reason alone.

Henry Rollins (55)
Prince Michael Jackson I (19)
Mena Suvari (37)
Feist (40)
Katie Hopkins (42)
Robbie Williams (42)
Kelly Hu (48)
Carolyn Lawrence (49)
Neal McDonough (50)
Hugh Dennis (54)
Pernilla August (58)
Denise Austin (59)
Peter Gabriel (66)
Stockard Channing (72)
Jerry Springer (72)
Carol Lynley (74)
Peter Tork (74)
George Segal (82)
Kim Novak (83)
Emanuel Ungaro (83)
Chuck Yeager (93)

Um, that hot piece Henry Cavill should shave some fur off of his stomach and glued it to his bangs because they’re struggling a bit… – Lainey Gossip 

The greatest love story in history, George and Amal Clooney, were at Berlinale. I like her dress but only because it’s very Alexis Carrington Barbie – Celebitchy

Love Magazine took a break from stuffing itself full of Kartrashians to stuff itself full of the Hadid sisters – Drunken Stepfather

I read this headline as “Ted Cruz cast in a porn” and sadly I said to myself that I’d fap to that. Standards and dignity: I have none – WWTDD

Good news, anti-vaxxers! Kevin “I Fucked My Cousin” Gates is on your side – The Superficial 

Rubber Muppet Sonja Morgan went on rubber Muppet Khloe Kartrashian’s show to talk about how she’s fighting with rubber Muppet Bethenny Frankel again – Reality Tea 

Miranda Kerr is either growing a billionaire fetus in her womb or she’s got a little caviar bloat – IDLYITW

If I threw one egg at my mom, I wouldn’t be able to throw a second one because she’d chop my hands off – Hollywood Tuna 

Being an extra in Kanye West’s fashion show sounds like Hell personified – Jezebel

A tiny bit of the raw emotions trickled out of Ellen DeGeneres while talking about gay rights with President Obama – Towleroad

Kristen Wiig as Peyton Manning: I’d hit it – OMG Blog

Jennifer Lawrence donated $2 million to a children’s hospital – Just Jared

Coachella is still a couple of months away but it looks like its queen is already ready – Popoholic

Hilary Duff is in a bikini on the beach and the paps taking her picture were probably so confused. They were like, “She’s not walking to her car, do we take her picture anyway?” – Popsugar

Weekend programming note: Sadly, Carla didn’t work out as Dlisted’s new weekend writer and I’m going away for my sister’s birthday, so our resident guest blogger J. Harvey will be filling in on Saturday and  Sunday. Be sure to ask him for nudes. I’ll be back full-time on Monday!

Pic: Getty

That is some “Touch me in the morning, then just walk away” tease.

Alexander Skarsgard is currently at the Berlin International Film Festival where he’s pimping out his movie with Michael Pena called War on Everyone. War on Everyone is a comedy about two corrupt cops in New Mexico who blackmail every criminal they deal with. So it sounds like it’s like True Detective if True Detective was on Comedy Central. We’re all probably wondering if ASkars gets naked in this shit and if he does, for how long (if you read that as “how long is it,” that works too) and is it going to be released in IMAX 3D? None of the synopses about this movie mentioned that. I know, how unprofessional and incompetent of those synopsis writers. I hope at least ASkars wears a loin cloth in this since he doesn’t in that Tarzan mess.

There was a press conference at Berlinale for the movie today and ASkars made tips moist and clits tingle when he turned around and served up some “Why don’t you come up sometime and see me?” flirtiness. If Tarzan flops hard and he’s ran out of Hollywood, he can always be a pose coach at Barbizon.

Pics: Wenn.com