These charismatic British sparklers of the “Brexit” movement!

On June 23rd, the people of the UK will vote on whether or not Britain should quit the bitch that is the European Union or stay. Brexit is just “Britain” and “exit” pushed together and it’s a short way of saying that the UK is breaking up with the European Union. The BBC has an easy-ish to understand guide about the UK’s EU referendum, but really, the only thing you need to know about it is in this captivating patriotic musical jewel starring the Brexit Beauties.

The Washington Post says that this video and song came from the mind of Mandy Boylett (the natural blonde on the right). Mandy’s masterpiece “Britain’s Coming Home” is a parody of a popular football song called “Three Lions.” If you press play on that video, you may only last a few seconds with it, because your brain will probably vote to leave it since it won’t be handle to handle all of the talent, magnetism, impeccable lip-synching skills, glamour and star power.

These two are like the long-lost Spice Girls and their Spice names are Ghost Pepper Spice and Jalapeño Spice, because they’re way too hot and overpowering to handle. The Trump Jam Girls ain’t got shit on these stars!

They’re taking all your FISH, UK!

Of course, talent like this usually brings out the jealous haters. Several anti-Brexit Beauties haters dropped their thoughts in the YouTube comments:

Shit likes this makes me want to vote to stay.

I would be surprised if we weren’t kicked out of Europe after this

This has to be a ploy by the in campaign to gain supporters for in campaign. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea in the out campaig ?

I wouldn’t be surprised if this song won it for the “leave” party. The people will vote with the Brexit Beauties, because if they don’t, these two may make another song and hearts won’t be able to take it. Or this wreck of a video will make everyone physically move away, leaving these two behind, which would cause the UK to collapse in financial ruin. Either or!

(For Pope, not the Pope, just Pope)

Javier Bardem (47)
Justin Bieber (22)
Kesha (29)
Lupita Nyong’o (33)
Jensen Ackles (38)
Liya Kebede (38)
Donovan Patton (38)
Esther Cañadas (39)
Tate Stevens (41)
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (42)
Ryan Peake (43)
George Eads (49)
Paul Hollywood (50)
Booker T (51)
Maurice Benard (53)
Russell Wong (53)
Tim Daly (60)
Catherine Bach (62)
Ron Howard (62)
Alan Thicke (69)
Dirk Benedict (71)
Roger Daltrey (72)
Robert Conrad (81)
Harry Belafonte (89)

If you ever wanted to know what it would look like if you caught Matt Damon sucking off Ben Affleck under a big coat, here you go. (Side note: Ben totally blew out a huge butt burp while Matt was in that coat.) – Towleroad

Monica Lewinsky was at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party and her boring ass dress gets a no from me. Monica really should’ve went for it by wearing a blue dress with a bedazzled cum stain on it. Meanwhile, Gennifer Flowers was probably attending Penthouse’s Oscar party at a Hooter’s in New Jersey. – HuffPo

Speaking of Gennifer Flowers, her website is a garden of potent glamour – GenniferFlowers.com

No, some beauty website called Total Beauty didn’t purposefully confuse Whoopi Goldberg for Oprah Winfrey because they knew it would get them a whole lot of attention and clicks. Nope, not at all – Lainey Gossip 

Who cares about Caitlyn Jenner when Mimi really delivered the classiness by wearing fishnets over pantyhose? – Celebitchy

Even after her piece faked cancer, Vicki Gunvalson has been asked back for the new season of The Real Plasticwives of Orange County – Reality Tea

First Ashley Graham and now Chestica Simpson. The caged titties look is so now! – Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Lawrence’s Republican family members in Kentucky held a funeral for her career after she wrote that essay about the gender wage gap issue – The Superficial  

Raven-Symone doesn’t know how elections work – WWTDD

Chris Rock lied to us. The Girl Scouts did not sell $65,000 worth of cookies at the Oscars – Jezebel

Jessica Alba was at the Vanity Fair Oscar party because EVERYONE with at least 2 fucking IMDB credits was there – Popoholic

It’s because of Japanese potatoes, goddammit! – Hollywood Tuna 

Gigi Hadid’s nipple “accidentally slipped out” (read: they spent 8 hours rehearsing that nip slip) at the Versace show – (NSFW) The Nip Slip 

Denzel Washington said fuck it to the Oscars and ate popcorn at a basketball game instead – Popsugar

Needs more peen prints – The Berry 

Rest in peace, Captain Hocken from Naked Gun – Boy Culture 

Salma Hayek recently posted on Instagram about how her 9-year-old dog Mozart was found shot to death on her ranch in Washington State. I immediately screamed, “MURDER!” But it turns out that it was an accident and the investigation is closed.

The Seattle Times says a neighbor told investigators with the Thurston County Sheriff’s Office that he fired a pellet gun at Mozart Hayek because the dog was causing trouble. The neighbors say that Mozart attacked his two dogs so he fired a pellet gun to scare the dog off. It did a whole lot more than scare Mozart off. That pellet sent poor Mozart’s soul to heaven. The neighbor claims that he didn’t know that he shot Mozart. A vet said that a lead pellet hit one of Mozart’s arteries and he bled to death.

Salma wasn’t at her ranch at the time. A caretaker went for a horseback ride with a few of Salma’s dogs. When they got to the end of the road, the dogs, including Mozart, heard the sound of barking and ran toward the neighbor’s house. The caretaker didn’t go after them. The wife of the neighbor who shot Mozart said that he regularly used to go onto their property to fight with their dogs. Her husband finally had it and fired what he thought was a warning shot. She said that they’re very sorry that Mozart died.

“I’m still coming to terms with all of this, as you can imagine. We didn’t even know we killed a dog. To find out we killed a dog that belonged to a high profile person, I’m in shock. My heart is broken. I’m really sorry that the dog died.”

Investigators ruled the shooting as “justified,” but they still passed the case over to prosecutors who will review it.

So many questions. Why hasn’t Salma built a fence? Why did the caretaker just let the dogs go like that? Why didn’t the neighbor scare Mozart off in a harmless way like blast an LMFAO song at him? (Scratch that. That’s not harmless.)

I know that both of their ranches are probably many acres big, but this is definitely going to cause a whole lot of tension. My neighbor’s dog once pissed on my front door mat in front of me and I never stopped throwing them dirty looks. So I can’t even imagine the kind of looks Salma is going to throw at the neighbor who shot her dog.

Rest in peace again, Mozart.

Pic: Instagram

I went in to today assuming that no news reported today would be able to hold a candle to Leonardo DiCaprio finally getting his hands on the gold-plated trophy of his dreams. But non-Oscar news has really come hard today. First there was the story about Chris Jones’ fugitive penis, and now we have a story about a retail brawl starring a pocket-sized stand-up comedian who isn’t Kevin Hart. Although Kevin Hart does make an appearance in this story a little while later.

According to TMZ, Katt Williams – who looks a whole lot less like Katt Williams when he isn’t wearing his usual Hunger Games pimp drag – was arrested earlier today in Gainesville, Georgia for getting into a fight with an employee at a pool supply store. Police say it started as a verbal fight that escalated into a regular fight when Katt threw something at the employee (my guess is a package of Star Wars dildo-style pool toys), which was then  followed by a punch. When police arrived, they claimed to have found Katt Williams waiting for them on the ground with his hands behind his back. TMZ says he was released on $5000 bail.

If this story is giving you déjà vu, it might be because you’ve heard it before. Back in 2012, Katt Williams got into a verbal fight that turned into a slap fight with an employee at a Sacramento Target store. Basically, Katt Williams needs to get a fucking Amazon Prime account and start doing all his shopping online, because he clearly can’t handle the in-store experience.

Now, remember two seconds ago when I mentioned that Kevin Hart? Katt’s recent disturbance doesn’t end at starting fights with store employees. BET says that during a comedy show in Atlanta on Saturday, Katt hissed at Kevin Hart for being a “puppet” and accused him of sucking dicks to get ahead. Once again, if this sounds familiar to you, it might be because you’re remembering back to 2012 when Katt Williams wanted you to know that he’s 100% sure Jamie Foxx is gay.

That’s a weird coincidence, right? Pretty much the exact same shit happened four years later. Katt Williams is the leap year of messes. And here’s Katt Williams’ current nemesis at the Oscars last night.

Pics: Gainesville Times, Wenn.com

Last week, it seemed like there was trouble in the squad (Side note: Hello, my name is Michael. I’m a grown up and I just wrote “trouble in the squad.“) when Lorde was seen with Taylor Swift enemy Diplo. Diplo once said that someone should start a Kickstarter to buy Taylor Swift an ass. I figured that Girl Squad Captain Taylor would immediately tell Lorde to shred her Hello Kitty membership card and then ask for the copy of the key to the treasure box where they keep the friendship bracelet supplies. But I don’t think that happened, because here’s Taylor Swift (giving you Dollar Tree Elvira Hancock) and Lorde (giving you constipated and stoned Emily the Strange in an Ice Capades show directed by Tim Burton) at Vanity Fair’s Oscar party last night.

But maybe something is up. Lorde does look like she was sedated and is only posing with Taylor because Taylor threatened to expose secrets that could ruin her career. You know, secrets like she really hates the color black, she loves the color pink, Nicholas Sparks is her favorite author, she really feels whole when she smiles and nothing brightens up her day like sunshine. But then again, Lorde always looks like a goth ghost who took too much Ambien, so everything’s probably fine. However, nothing is fine with the blood explosion messiness that Gwen Stefani wore.

While Blake Shelton looked like the most dressed up dude at a hillbilly wedding, Gwen Stefani looked like she was about to star in Carrie On Ice!

It looks like her belly button is barfing blood. She looks like a slutty blood clot. We get it, Gwen. You’re hot. You still got it, bitch. I’m all for a trick trying to get attention by showing her granny panties in a sheer dress, but Gwen could’ve done it without wearing an ensemble that makes me want to throw tampons, Band-Aids and cotton balls at her.

And here’s more pictures from last night’s VF party including some of Justin Timberlake being annoying and Anne Hathaway wearing Mrs. Roper’s favorite disco freakum muumuu.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com