Now that Jeremy Renner’s latest child support fight with his ex-wife is over, he can move on to bigger battles. Like trying to convince his stylist to throw a couple more of those gorgeous crystal beaded roses on his tuxedo jacket next time. “Come on, how many times do I have to tell you? Jer’s gotta sparkle.”

Back in July, Jeremy’s ex-wife Sonni Pacheco continued her quest to get money by accusing him of owing more than $48,000 in unpaid child support for their 3-year-old daughter Ava Berlin. On top of the $48,000, Sonni also wanted Hawkeye to fork over an extra $1,600 a month for Ava’s preschool tuition payments. If you happen to see Sonni Pacheco doing a little happy dance at an ATM today, you’ll know why. TMZ says that Jeremy is giving Sonni more child support money. Jeremy’s child support payments will go from $13,000 to $16,000 a month. He has also agreed to cut Sonni a $24,000 check to cover the cost of her lawyer and accountant. No word on if he has also paid back that $48,000 he allegedly owed her in unpaid child support.

When Sonni first asked for more money from Jeremy two months ago, he allegedly texted her back “I don’t have the cash to give you.” And yet, Jeremy somehow managed to find several thousand extra dollars to give her. It’s a miracle! Or maybe it’s not a miracle, but merely Sonni’s expert-level get money skills at work. Sonni asked for an extra $1,600 and she got $3,000. Sonny should really consider buying up some of those recently-closed ITT Tech campuses and open her own for-profit school. Sonni could get paid to teach the next generation of aspiring her secrets to landing a lucrative money-hustling gig (possible name: 9 Months to $uccess). It’s a win-win for everyone!

Pic: Wenn.com

Ursula’s vegan diet has brought many changes beneath the sea. Poor Spongebob will never be the same. – Shane Yorston

Upvote winner:

Pic: Cheezburger

The hot boss lady in an ITT Tech commercial from the olden days!

For as long as my mound of smegma and sludge brain can remember, ITT Tech commercials have played on TV, but yesterday I learned that I have to adjust to not seeing those commercials anymore. Because ITT Tech shut down all 130 of their campuses in the U.S.! I didn’t think that was even possible. That’s like Harvard shutting down! Most of ITT Tech’s 8,000 employees are out of a job and their 35,000 students don’t have classes, which they already paid for, to go to. ITT Tech has been investigated by the authorities in the past for earning several PhDs in scheming by allegedly grifting their students, but they closed up after nearly 50 years because the Department of Education banned them from enrolling new students using financial aid. ITT Tech has to pay $152 million within 30 days to help cover student refunds.

ITT Tech was a for-profit school that was the country’s most-esteemed technical institute. Sorry, MIT. It taught their students the future of tech and its illustrious alumni included Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Elon Musk and Post-It inventors Romy White and Michele Weinberger. (That alumni information has not been confirmed in any way, but I’m assuming it’s 100% fact since ITT Tech was the first and foremost institute of technology and invention.) One of the ways ITT Tech lured in their victims, I mean students, was with their legendary commercials that seemed to mostly play during Jerry Springer and other daytime talk shows.

Continue reading

Chrissie Hynde (65)
Evan Rachel Wood (29)
Devon Sawa (38)
Oliver Hudson (40)
Shannon Elizabeth (43)
Tom Everett Scott (46)
Angie Everhart (47)
Rudy Galindo (47)
Leslie Jones (49)
Toby Jones (50)
Diane Warren (60)
Mira Furlan (61)
Corbin Bernsen (62)
Michael Emerson (62)
Julie Kavner (66)
Gloria Gaynor (67)
Dario Argento (76)

Pic: Pinterest

The London premiere of Bridget Jones’s Baby went down last night and Renee Zellweger brought back her signature squint as well as her man whose name I always forget. I just call him Kelsey Stern since he looks like a slightly passable Frasier impersonator in a Howard Stern wig – Lainey Gossip

Chloe Grace Moretz regrets giving the Kartrashian Koven any attention, and yet she continued to give them attention by talking about those sewer slags in an interview – Celebitchy

And I’m sure Lisa Vanderpump will throw snobby eyes of judgement at Eden Sassoon’s scissor tattoo – Reality Tea

Um, someone should tell Irina Shayk that’s not how you sit in a chair – The Nip Slip 

Screw an asteroid, the planet Mercury should be renamed “Freddie Mercury” in his honor – Towleroad

RiRi, Fifth Harmony and all the other pop tricks can officially retire, because this teacher out-sings them all! – OMG Blog

Monica Bellucci’s chichis took a dip for a magazine – Drunken Stepfather 

They tell me these are pictures of Charlotte McKinney’s tits, but they’re so blurry that they could be pictures of Ben Affleck in a blond wig. I know, impossible. His tits are bigger – The Superficial

I see that Jeannie Darcy was Ann Coulter’s stand-up coach. Don’t get me started – Jezebel

That chick from Game of Thrones looks hot – Popoholic

Dakota Fanning looks like the silver tinsel Christmas tree I bought from Urban Outfitters one year – Hollywood Tuna 

Leslie Jones made her return to Twitter to tell us what we’ve already known for decades: there’s no better medicine than The Golden Girls – HuffPo

AJ McLean is going to be a daddy again – Popsugar

We all lost faith in the meaning of real love after hearing that Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston are done, but there’s hope! Kendull Jenner and Harry Styles may be back together again  – Just Jared

Calvin Harris is bumping fuck parts with Eiza Gonzalez – IDLYITW

Pic: Getty

Tip of the year: If your crazy ass wants to get revenge on an ex-piece by torching his car, make sure you have the right car before doing so. You’ll end up in the chokey either way, but at least you also won’t have to deal with the embarrassment of fucking up your own revenge stunt.

Continue reading