Shailene Woodley’s Solution To Teen Pregnancy: Masturbation Ed.
Shailene Woodley has a movie to promote (a real movie, right Shailene?), which means it’s time for more vaguely-holistic wisdom. Shailene has taught us many things over the years like the importance of feeding your vagina Vitamin D – the real kind, not the other more-fun kind. She’s talking about vaginas again, and if you can believe it, her advice falls pretty low on the Shailene Scale of Nonsense (I’m looking at you, eating clay).
Jimmy Fallon Played With Donald Trump’s Rabid Hair And It Didn’t Bite Him Back
The butt blister in a baggy suit who is currently running for President of the United States went on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon last night, and a surprising thing happened: Jimmy Fallon barely asked Donald Trump any hard-hitting serious questions. But Jimmy Fallon now knows the answer to the question, “What does Trump’s b-hole walls taste like?”, because he spent part of the interview with his tongue up in there. And yes, Jimmy wiggled it a bit.
Calvin Harris Is Maybe Shading Taylor Swift Through His Latest Song
Something tells me Taylor Swift is not going to order a jacket with that patch on the back of it. Just a hunch.
Calvin Harris and Taylor broke up almost four months ago, and he’s still finding ways to pull her hair when they cross each other in the cool locker hall. Calvin came for Taylor on Twitter, he came for her on Instagram, he maybe-shaded her relationship with Tom Hiddleston in the video for “Olé“, he came for her again to British GQ. Now he’s maybe-hating on her in his latest song. As it turns out, there’s someone out there who can drag a breakup for attention longer than Taylor Swift. Continue reading
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNERS For September 15th!
Hot Slut Of The Day!
The pair of frilly granny under-crackers that have caused a SCANDAL in a small village in England!
When parents walked their children to the grade school in Stokeinteignhead, Devon earlier this week, they had to immediately cover the pristine eyes of their innocent angels after they spotted a pair of sinful and indecent lacy knickers hanging out to dry in the garden of 65-year-old grandma Rozamund Perrin’s home. Memaw Roza had know idea that her fancy chonies were recently causing the pure souls of the children to be tainted with filth until she got a note in her mailbox later that afternoon. The letter from an anonymous crazy, we’ll call Prudey McPantyHater, let Roza know that it is highly inappropriate for her undies to be in plain sight of children! It’s just underwear, not used anal beads, but that prude still has a point. I’m sure in the far future when a local hooker gets caught for the 90th time selling ass for a tiny crack pebble and the police ask them what went wrong in life, they’ll say, “My innocence was gone when I saw a pair of lacy panties hanging out on a line to dry.”
Birthday Sluts
Amy Poehler (45)
Nick Jonas (24)
Marlon Teixeira (25)
Teddy Geiger (28)
Travis Wall (29)
Ian Harding (30)
Kyla Pratt (30)
Max Minghella (31)
Madeline Zima (31)
Sabrina Bryan (32)
Katie Melua (32)
Fan Bingbing (35)
Alexis Bledel (35)
Flo Rida (37)
Tamron Hall (46)
Marc Anthony (48)
Rossy de Palma (52)
Molly Shannon (52)
Richard Marx (53)
Orel Hershiser (58)
Jennifer Tilly (58)
David Copperfield (60)
Christopher Rich (63)
Mickey Rourke (64)
George Chakiris (82)
Pic: Dey Street