Afternoon Crumbs

November 29, 2010 / Posted by:

Louie Spence is waaaaay too hot for The Hoff to handle – Holy Moly!

“I will suck yo crotch for a nom” – Justin Timberlake to Mr. Oscar – Lainey Gossip

Kanye West gets a whole lot of BITCH BOOM BYE at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – The Superficial

Spider-Man’s bulge is the new Harry Potter peen of Broadway – Towleroad

Xtina’s face says “the dick is good” and her new man’s face says “the money is good”Popsugar

Peppermint-coated gonorrhea for your eyes (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Screw Lindsay Lohan and her cigarettes, who’s that piping hot douche in thumbnail #6? – Hollywood Tuna

Now all the Kardashians are hitting the stroll – Celebitchy

At least somebody is wearing that Abbey Dawn crap – Popoholic

Eva Longoria is producing a TV show I might just watch. I mean, it sounds like a Mexican Dynasty. I’m in. – Just Jared

Been there, done that, have the X-rays to prove it- OMG Blog

When Leslie Hall met KelisCrunk + Disorderly

I’d hit it X 24 – The Berry

I’m pretty sure Hulk Hogan was the photographer – I’m Not Obsessed

Tara Reid is standing upright all by herself – Hollywood Rag

Dave Grohl busts a move with a giant one-eyed, wart-ridden peen – Cityrag

Regis Philbin wishes he could get hard. Good. Night.- Necole Bitchie

And then Mimi can name one baby Butterfly and the other one Fantasy – ICYDK


My Life Is Now Complete

November 29, 2010 / Posted by:

If there was ever an image I’d get tattooed to the inside of my eye lids, this would be it. It’s the forever glamorous Detective La Toya Jackson and the forever gorgeous La Duquesa de Alba sharing the same frame at the International Horse Fair in Sevilla, Spain yesterday!!! This is like watching a unicorn catch a falling star in its mouth. Now the words “beauty” and “magic” know where to go when they need a shot of inspiration.

You might already be on your knees worshiping this picture while listening to this post via Microsoft Sam. If that’s the case, keep bowing! While you do that, I’m going to call my optometrist to ask if he can stain glass this piece of photographic art to my contact lenses.

I Mean It This Time, FREE WILLIE!!!

November 29, 2010 / Posted by:

Willie Nelson looks like a big meanie just snatched a joint out of his hand, because they did! This mug shot was taken shortly after Border Patrol in Texas caught Willie with six ounces of weed over the weekend. Willie was charged with a misdemeanor and freed on $2,500 bail, but TMZ says that it’s far from over. Texas doesn’t ever play around so there’s a chance they could stick Willie’s old ass behind bars for more than 2 years. It’s a good thing Dolly Parton can hide a double bowl bong, 4 marijuana plants, a lighter wand, a food dehydrator and a heat lamp in her titty canyon.

A criminal defense attorney who practices in Austin tells TMZ that there’s a good chance Willie could get sentenced to a minimum of 6 months and a maximum of 2 years in the chokey. The director of NORML, an L.A. based marijuana law reform organization, thinks Willie should tell the jury that he bought the good shit in California (where medical weed is legal) and forgot it was on the bus.

If Willie Nelson is jailed for 2 years, every single marijuana plant will shrivel and dry up from intense heartbreak. Then all of us will have to spend the good part of our day blowing good shit smoke towards Texas hoping that Willie gets contact high by sticking his mouth out of the tiny jail house window. Err. Since I put it that way. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing after all….

Open Post: Hosted By The Dance Of The Seven Ecstasy Tabs

November 29, 2010 / Posted by:

Sometimes the beat just grabs a hold of your body, flips you around and commands you to move like an “Egyptian dilophosaurus with ADD” (0:05 mark), and a “paraplegic iguana waving for help” (0:27 mark), and a “dying nympho catfish” (1:10 mark), and “Lady Gaga in the electric chair” (1:33 mark), and “Frankenstein walking on hot coals” (2:06 mark).

You can’t ignore the beat (or the waves that hit your body from taking the RIGHT kind of ecstasy).

via Videogum


James Franco And Anne Hathaway Will Host The Oscars Together

November 29, 2010 / Posted by:

Since Charo’s cuchi cuchi thrusts are way too hot for primetime and the producers of the Academy Awards can’t afford to pay for the booze on Betty White’s rider, they have pulled two random names out of the Oscar statute’s ass and have asked them to host next year’s show.

Deadline Hollywood says that James Franco, who will probably be nominated for 127 Hours, and Anne Hathaway, who will probably be nominated for a Razzie for Love and Other Drugs or Valentine’s Day, will host the Oscars together next year!!! BRAND NEW DRINKING GAME! Every time a song bursts out of Anne Hathaway’s mouth, do a shot! And every time James Franco jokes about being a stoner, do a pot brownie shot! This is a win! Here’s the official statement from the producers:

“James Franco and Anne Hathaway personify the next generation of Hollywood icons— fresh, exciting and multi-talented. We hope to create an Oscar broadcast that will both showcase their incredible talents and entertain the world on February 27. We are completely thrilled that James and Anne will be joining forces with our brilliant creative team to do just that.”

At first I was like “HUH!?“, but then I remembered James Franco saying that he can’t keep his hands off his dick. The Oscars are about 127 hours long (give or take a few days), so that means we’ll most likely get at least a dozen shots of James’ hand hugging his peen. And his nutsack better wear a bow tie. It’s the OSCARS! Have some fucking decorum, please!

Shouldn’t He Be The One Wearing The Bikini Top?

November 29, 2010 / Posted by:

This is why the world will never make sense. A-Rod can casually flaunt his ripe and juicy mango slices out in the open while Cameron Diaz has to keep hers clothed or face LIFE IN A MEXICAN PRISON!!!!!1!!!1! (I type that like it’s a bad thing). Cameron’s chichis obviously want to be seen, because look how they are slowing inching towards her back knowing that’s where the damn sun shines! Not right.

Anyway, here’s Cameron and her sometimes piece A-Rod hosing each other down in Mexico over the weekend. Cameron is killing me softly with her array of facial expressions. Bitch looks like the Joker channeling Greer Childers.

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