Is She Still “Not Pregnant?”

October 4, 2007 / Posted by:
Arroz Con Pollo! JLo looks knocked up to me. JLo has been denying that she's knocked up with twins despite rumors. During a performance in Uncasville, Conn. JLo revealed some major bump. She's either on the Britney diet or she's expecting a bundle of joy. I'm going to say it's the latter.
What's with this hiding shit? Just come out and say it! I'm sure Skeletor wants to shout it from the rooftops, because so many of us doubted his jizz even worked! 
Like I said I can't waaaaiiiiitttt for that booty to grow! She's gonna need a couple of shelf brackets to hold that shit up!  
Source: People
Thanks Shaina

Your Afternoon Britney Recap

October 4, 2007 / Posted by:
Since posting two Brit Brit stories this morning there have been a slew of new gossip on this mess. Let's make this quick. The quicker we go, the less it will hurt:
Britney WILL NOT be going to rehab this weekend reports The Insider. Brit was rumored to be heading out to Eric Clapton's joint in Antigua this weekend. She probably found out they didn't have a Starbucks.
Brit's new video for "Gimme More" will premiere this Monday on MTV's TRL at 3:30pm reports People
Dr. Phil told Ryan Seacrest on KIIS-FM this moring that he wants to help BS. He said, "This is a girl who can turn this around, but she has to have someone look her in the eye and tell her the truth…I would be willing to sit down with her… Just the two of us in a room. No agents, no handlers, no cameras."  Eff Dr. Phil! She's Maury Povich material! 
TMZ reports that Commissioner Scott Gordon has laid down the rules which were basically the same as the last time. She gets monitored visitation rights, she must get drug and booze tested twice a week, she must get counseling once a week, she must take parenting classes once a week. The monitor has the right to cancel her visitation rights at any time. If she doesn't take a drug test it will count as a fail. They will all meet again October 26th.
Phew! I'm sure there's a million more stories, but that's all I can take for now. I feel dirty. I need a shower and then a Venti Frap.

Boo Boo Is Hot, But Her Owner Is Hotter

October 4, 2007 / Posted by:
It seems like every week there's a new bitch that beats the world record for being the smallest dog. Well, this time it's Boo Boo from Raceland, KY. 1-year-old Boo Boo is now the smallest dog in the world based on height according to Guinness. She stands 6.5 inches tall. When she was born she weighed 1.5 ounces. Most dicks are bigger than her!
Fuck Boo Boo though, she looks like a slut anyway! Look at those eyes. She's sexing us up with those eyes of hers! I know Boo Boo's game! She puts on those slutty outfits and prances up and down the road stealing other bitch's men, because her ass is tighter and tinier! TRAMP!
Anyway, let's talk about her owner. This woman is AMAZING. Look at her! Can you say "failed Kentucky beauty queen turned Piggly Wiggly cashier." I LOVE HER!
Lana Elswick, Boo Boo's owner and my new idol, had this to say about her tiny bitch, "She has the attitude of a big dog she would let me know if anyone was around and she would try to guard me if she could."
Well, that's good. At least Boo Boo is a slut that sticks by other sluts. Boo Boo and Lana forever!
Thanks Ashlee

You’ve Got Urchins On Your Shoes!

October 4, 2007 / Posted by:
Isn't Cate Blanchett scared of tripping on those furry shoes while she's walking? Those things look diseased! I'm sure they were expensive as hell, but I could've fixed up some good ones for her using some Payless pumps, Elmer's glue and my freshly cut pubes! Yes, they are soft like that.
Here's Cate at the NYC screening of "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" last night.

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