Nicole Richie Isn’t Feeling Well

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

In case you were wondering what Nicole Richie is up to today, homegirl is laid up in a hospital bed with pneumonia. Cut to the pap she has a restraining order out on holding a voodoo doll made out of toothpicks…..

Last week, Nicole denied that she had a case of the Tori Spellings. It looks like she had pneumonia all along. Nicole’s rep issued this statement to UsWeekly: “Nicole has checked into Ceders Sinai where she is being treated for pneumonia. She is doing well.

And Nicole will be doing a lot better as soon as she takes a heaping serving of this (YES, this is REAL news):

via Lindsay Robertson

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

Spectacular is the one word to describe today’s blind. This A list female celebrity chef was overheard in a restaurant the other day. Nothing unusual about that right? I mean people are nosy and we strain our ears. Well, it turns out this celebrity chef who is married was discussing an affair she recently had with this B list male singer with A list name recognition and reputation. She wasn’t shy about discussing the details either. I mean explicit, graphic details about what the two did to each other. Nothing out of the ordinary, but definitely not shy in recounting every last act. It does appear to have been a one time thing, but this is totally not what you expect from our chef and the image she tries to portray to the public. (CDAN)

I would like to think that Paula Deen and Willie Nelson get freaky in a tub full of butter sticks, but I’m going to go with Rachel (I refuse to give her the extra a) Ray and John Mayer? And I really don’t want to know all the things they do with EVOO. More like EVOHNO.

This celebrity had a little malfunction last week. No, it wasn’t a wardrobe malfunction (although she does have great style). It was a technical malfunction. Our celebrity, a television actress, is dating a non-famous guy. While she was out socializing late one night last week, she sent him a very private text message… along with a revealing photo of a private part of her anatomy. Unfortunately, instead of sending it to her boyfriend, she sent it to his mother (whose name was right below his in her directory). Whoops. The morals of this story – which we would love to see as a PSA – are: Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink and text. Don’t drink and photograph your hooha. (Blind Gossip)

This could be anyone, because who doesn’t send pictures of their vag to their boyfriend’s mom? It’s the new Christmas card. My guesses are: Michelle Trachtenberg, Zoila from Flipping Out, Ashley Jizzdale, Teri Snatcher or any of the chicks on 90210?

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Afternoon Crumbs

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

Zac Efron is trying to lure the unicorns to his wannabe magical forest hair. It’s not working. – Lainey Gossip

Giada de Laurentiis makes delicious food names sound like something a gynecologist does to your private parts – Gawker TV

Personally I’d rather see Chuck Bass in lacy lingerie – Egotastic!

Xtina begins shooting the unofficial remake of Showgirls Hollywood Tuna

Ryan Phillipe sucks at hiding – Just Jared

It was Halloween all over again at Tim Burton’s MoMa tribute – Popsugar

Cameras are the work of the devil. Case in point: Mop Head nipples (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

I think Kate Major got confused. Jon promised her a “hand job,” not the other kind of job – Celebitchy

Jennifer Hudson to play Winnie Mandela I’m Not Obsessed

If Julia Roberts suddenly got an extreme case of elephantitis in the face – SOW

What Gay Al Reynolds sees after he closes his eyes at night – Towleroad

Leighton Meester’s face is modeling Xtina’snatural” make-up look – Socialite Life

Janet Jackson should’ve rang up Candy FinniganPopeater

Avril Lavigne’s vagina is not slowing down anytime soon – Hollywood Rag

Somebody stick a block of wood in Chris Brown’s mouth already – Holy Moly!

RiRi’s alien powers are stronger than we thought, because she can shrink her head on command – ICYDK

If only RiRi could’ve used her powers to make her dress longer, or her crotch higher – Cityrag

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Um…Errr…Huh…Ummmm

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

Sofia Vergara was on The View today and they got to talking about how young she looks for having an 18-year-old son. Sofia joked that she had him when she was 13 after she was raped (in real-life Sofia’s son is 17 and she had him when she was 20).

Now, usually when the word “rape” comes up on daytime TV, the lights go down, the studio audience is shuttled out the exit door and Diane Sawyer comes out to ask some “serious” questions. But most The View hens and the audience just laughed away. Well, all of them except for Whoopi Goldberg, who was probably thinking to herself, “But was it RAPE-RAPE?

via Jezebel

Open Post: Hosted By Sidney The Pet Otter

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

Yes, this video of Sidney the “domesticated” baby otter playing around like a newborn kitten made me weak in the soul and lukewarm (as opposed to ice cold) in the heart, but then I got to thinking about the family of otters I once watched viciously attack each other. Shit was REAL.

Seriously, otters look like they are full of rainbows and heart-shaped kisses, but they will bite your nostril off for the last fish eye. They would.

That being said, I guess micro pigs are out and baby otters are in. You know Pararsite Hilton will have one of these by the end of the week. It will end in tears when her new pet otter gobbles up all her beloved coochie crustaceans.

Source: Buzzfeed via Best Week Ever

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Lil Wayne Is Someone’s Father….AGAIN

November 18, 2009 / Posted by:

Today is Wednesday, which means that somewhere in the world is a brand new baby who will learn to look Lil Wayne dead in the eye and say, “Where’s my check, boo?!

RapWeekly reports that Lil Wayne is a father for the second time this year. You know how 2009 has been called the year of death? Well, I think we’re going to come out even thanks to Lil Wayne’s sperm.

Apparently, singer Nivea popped out Lil Wayne’s fourth child over the weekend. There’s not many details and the name of their kid was not released. I’m guessing that Wayne is going to keep it simple by naming his new spawn “#4.” I mean, how is he supposed to remember all the names of his baby mamas and the babies. He’s going to have to start numbering them sooner or later.

Wayne already has a 12-year-old daughter (with his ex-wife Toya), a 1-year-old son (with an unidentified woman) and a 2-month-old son (with actress Lauren London). These are the babies that we know of.

Don’t stare at that picture of Wayne too hard or you may feel a kicking down below. No, it wouldn’t be the frozen burrito you had for a morning snack! It would be Wayne’s fifth child trying to get out.

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