With one of Kim Zolciak’s leftover wigs, a Sharpie and the absence of dignity, you too can be all you can be and more! We should all bow our heads, because this is greatness – Crunk + Disorderly
I don’t have a clue who Rafael Nadal, but he should do this more often – Lainey Gossip
Vanessa Hudgens tries to out-purdy Zac Efron at his own premiere. That bitch. – Egotastic!
Christina Hendricks must have come directly from her audition for Chicago – The Superficial
I will blow whoever (you can end right there and it will still be factually correct) leaks the tapes of Mel Gibson’s conversations with Our Lady of Cheetos – Hollywood Rag
Holly Madison really needs to stop wearing toddler dresses from the 50s – Hollywood Tuna
The Empress of Lucite’s boy slaves are well trained (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather
What Larry King looks like when he’s trying to get out of the tub – The Chive
Kate Winslet is giving us her version of Mariah Carey circa Vision of Love era – Popoholic
Will I be banished to the lanai in Hades if I say that Betty White’s clothing line isn’t doing shit for me? – Towleroad
The Photoshop Awards: Jon Gosselin’s vanishing fupa in InTouch – Celebitchy
So that’s where all the follicles on Jude Law’s hairline went! They migrated to his stomach – Popsugar
Thor is totally 2010’s vague answer to the He-Man movie – Just Jared
Dawn of the Douchebag – Cityrag
Leonardo DiCatchAHo in Rolling Stone – ICYDK
Brad Pitt in a visor – I’m Not Obsessed
This news makes me happier than the time I successfully turned my eyelids inside/out after trying for hours. No, I’m not talking about the news that Christina Applegate’s womb is currently being invaded by a fetus who might cause her to caca herself when it comes out. Don’t ask me why (no, really…don’t), but the other night I spent way too long reading about the labor shits.
Anydiarrheaplacentacasserole, the good news is that Christina announced that she’s expecting a BABY!!! with her fiance Martyn Lenoble (who is giving me puckery Dolph Lundgren vibes) without declaring that she also leaped over the moon like other assholes. YES! Christina gives me hopes that we will soon celebrate the extinction of moon jumping! Christina will make a perfect mother for that fact alone. And she will really really make a perfect mother if she names her baby New Allante.
If the Last Supper took place in the middle of a Hot Topic and was crashed by a rabid raccoon infected with the Courtney Loves, it would looks just like this video for Pretty Reckless new song. 16-year-old Taylor Momsen ruins a perfectly good meal (and several goblets of the sweet nectar) in the name of manufactured blasphemy while her band mates look like they would rather be getting their asses eaten out by a porcupine puppy. And that click you just heard was Roman Polanski and Mel Gibson simultaneously adding this holy water mess of a video to their favorites.
Here’s a few pictures of Taylor taking the walk of shame to the Warped Tour stage in Maryland yesterday afternoon. The yawn on the chick wearing my 1980s summer camp outfit says it all.
In case this hasn’t graced your life yet, here’s a pug singing the shit out of the Batman theme song. I really hope that Batman heard that pug’s call and swooped in to give him a Halls or a Ricola or some shit. Damn. Although, this pug still sounds a million times better than Miley Cyrus.
And if you’re a purist, here’s the unscrewed original:
In a sixth audio tape that Radar released yesterday, Mel Gibson doesn’t deny shit when Oksana Grigorieva accuses him making Lucifer’s cackle stronger by hitting their baby daughter Lucia. Mel’s lawyers told the child abuse claim to blow them, but OctoSana has picture proof! Radar Online just so happened to get a hold of OctoSana’s proof and they published it just like they did with that picture of her with cracked veneers.
The picture of a then 2-month-old Lucia is here, so hold up your magnifying glass. Radar claims that the small abrasion on Lucia’s chin was caused by Mel’s fist during a fight with OctoSana.
Oksana told authorities that she was holding Lucia when Mel punched her in the mouth and then in the left temple, causing her to fall backward onto a bed.
She says the Oscar-winning actor/director then put a forearm across her throat and used the palm of his free hand to cover her face, causing her to gasp, struggle and fear for her life.
“Oksana said right after the incident, she observed blood and a small abrasion on Lucia’s chin, which was not there before the incident,” said a source, who is familiar with the law enforcement investigation.
“She photographed the abrasion that night.” Those photos are now evidence.
The picture has already been seen by the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department and Child Protective Services.
To me, the picture looks like the “before” in an ad for Proactiv’s new line of baby products. I see a baby pimple. But Mel Gibson would decapitate a baby bird with his teeth if it dipped its claws into his Jacuzzi, so I don’t put anything past him. And instead of pixelating Baby Lucia’s eyes, someone should pixelate Mel’s face permanently.
In other Mel Gibson and a Vasectomist Should Hang Out news, TMZ reports that he allegedly threw OctoSana’s 12-year-old son into a table at a party last year when the boy tried to playfully knock a cigarette out of his mouth. OctoSana’s side called it abuse, but Mel’s side said the boy accidentally fell by himself and he never harmed him.
OctoSana’s son obviously hasn’t read the surgeon general’s warning on every pack of cigarettes which states: Don’t ever try to knock one of these out of Mel Gibson’s mouth.