Alien Baby #2?

July 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Here we go again! Katie Holmes has started the baby rumors again by showing off a little bump at last night's "Hairspray" premiere in NYC. Last month, Katie was rumored to be knocked up when she was snapped with a minor bump. That rumor was quickly squashed when she papped the next day in a mom bathing suit and no baby bump. Their reps have denied the couple are bringing Xenu's next heir into the World.
 
Silly rabbits! That's where Tom keeps the controls! I wouldn't doubt it though. Look at all the attention they got from Suri. It's a little too soon though. Tom's new movie doesn't come out for a while. Trust that she'll get Chris Klein to knock her up again by then. Tom probably watches and jacks it in the corner. OMG! A Tom jack-off face is not something I want to see.
 
 
 

I Hope That’s A Light Beer

July 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
What happened to ICE?! God Dayum! Val Kilmer used to be walking sex and now he's a walking turkey drumstick! Somebody get that girl a colonic and something with fiber. 
 
Well…at least he can play the Penguin now in the new Batman movies.  That being said, I'd still push the roll up and ride that fat pony. Fat pony with cankles.
 
 
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Too Soon To Party

July 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Lindsay Lohan popped out of rehab after six-weeks and immediately got back to the party scene. She partied in Las Vegas over this weekend and last night she was spotted at Winston's.
 
Dr. Drew of "Loveline" told MTV that it's a little too soon for Blohan to back into the swing of things. He said, "The problem is that early in treatment, you don't have this active craving, and you think you can walk into an environment and be around the old triggers and not have it result in using, which is a common mistake."
 
Lindsay is apparently so secure with her sobriety that she's put a booze detector on her ankle. She isn't required to wear one, but her rep seems to think it makes her look serious about her recovery.
 
Her rep said, "It's not court-ordered, it's a pain in the ass, it's heavy and it's not fashionable — and we all know Lindsay is extremely fashionable. She doesn't have to drink when she goes to clubs — she can hang out with friends, and she loves to dance."
 
We should take bets on how long it'll take her ass to be caught drunk or with drugs. I'm guessing it will take longer than we think. I'll say……by the end of August. I hope this snatch gets her act together, but going out every night after 6-weeks of treatment doesn't look promising. That's like going to IHOP right after fat camp. Mmmm….IHOP. Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity!
 
 
 
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Good Timing

July 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Tom Brady started dating Gisele Bundchen shortly after he split from Bridget Moynahan. Well, Bridge turned out to be pregnant with his baby. Tom and Gis seem to be happy and he's even flying his family out to spend time with her at her Italian villa. There looks to be trouble in paradise though and the reason is Bridge's due date.
 
Bridge is due to pop out Tom's baby on Friday. Friday is Gis' Barfday! AHAHAHAH! Best timing ever! Bridge better hold those legs together until Friday. If Gis and Tom stay together that will eff up that day for them forever! Celebrate with your only child or celebrate with the skank you left your knocked up girlfriend for?
 
Source: Page Six
 

Jon Lovitz Is My Hero

July 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Five months before Brynn Hartman killed her husband Phil Hartman, they held a Christmas party at their home. Jon Lovitz and Andy Dick were both at that party. Phil and Jon both flipped out when Andy openly did cocaine and gave some to Brynn. Everybody knew that Brynn was sober for over 10 years and Jon seems to think that Andy is the one that opened her up to that world again.
 
Jon said that last year he ran into Andy. Andy told him, "I put the "Phil Hartman hex" on you – you're the next one to die.' I said, 'What did you say?' and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don't hit women."
 
Jon told Page Six that he ran into Andy again last week where it all came to head. He said, "I wanted him to say he was sorry for the 'Phil Hartman hex. First he says, 'I don't remember saying that.' Then he leans in and says, 'You know why I said it? Because you said I killed Phil Hartman.' Which I never said. Then he asked me to be in his new movie. "I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, 'I don't want to be in your movie! I don't want to be in your life!' I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I'm not proud of it . . . but he's a disgusting human being."
 
Witnesses say that Jon picked Andy up and smashed his head into the bar several times. They say blood was pouring from Andy's nose. Um….that was probably from the coke being shaken around in there.
 
Who knew Jon Lovitz could kick ass like that? Andy has it coming. He's effin annoying.
 
Andy's a sick fuck, so he was probably into getting beat up. 
 
 
 
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