Paris is “Special” and Will Only Serve 23 Days

May 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Paris Hilton hasn't even stepped into a jail and she's already getting her time cut in half for good behavior. Jail officials have cut her some slack and reduced her 45 days to 23 days, because she sucked them off.
 
The L.A. County sheriff's office announced that they recognize her good behavior including showing up at her recent court date. Paris will also serve her 23-days in a special unit. These cells are specifically reserved for high-profile inmates who might otherwise be targeted by fellow prisoners. She will also get an hour a day to make phone calls, watch TV and shower. 
 
This is a vacation if you ask me. I doubt she will serve more than 2 days. She hasn't even started serving and they've already reduced it which means they will probably cut it more when she shows up to jail. I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm sure she'll even cry about this and when she gets out after 2 hours of serving she'll do the talk show circuits and talk about how hard it was.
 
Oh well! My dreams have been shattered. What else is new?!
 
Source: MTV – Image: Gallery of the Absurd
 
 
 
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The Little No Neck That Could

May 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Melinda Doolittle sang her last no-neck note on American Idol as she was voted out in  SHOCKINGOMGULTRAHSOCKINGJESUSCHRISTTHEWORLDMUSTEND elimination show last night. DoLots was starting to get on my nerves, but I figured she would get her "oh shucks" ass into the finals.
 
Simon Cowell said the night before that he wanted to see her in the finals and look what he did now! Something tells me no-neck is going to be A-ok.
 
Question? Do you think she sings so well, because the notes don't have to travel as far from her stomach to her mouth..you know with her not having a neck and all? Just a theory.
 
This leaves Blake "please don't beat box" Lewis and Jordin "ugly betty" Sparks. These results are making some think that Jordin was a plant from the beginning by the producers. 
 
Click here to read the entire article, but I say it's a little far fetched.
 
 
 
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Where’s the Camel Toe?

May 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
CoCo not showing her camel toe makes all the camels in the world shed a tear. There's even a documentary about it.
 
CoCo somehow greased herself up and slithered into that ensemble for the Maxim party last night with her pimp daddy. This party was seriously battle of the silicone. Imagine CoCo and Amanda LePore trying to hug each other? I would not be the one standing in the middle left with a glob full of sticky mess. Well, I'd get the sticky mess from being so turned on.
 
 
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Lindsay Lohan Take Note, This is What a REAL Woman Wears to a Party

May 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Amanda Lepore proved to us and the world why she should've been Maxim's Hottest woman in the world at their party last night. Perfection from head to toe.
 
Look how that woman in the back is like mesmerized by Mandy's nipple from tranny HELL. It reminds me of when I was a kid and nothing pleased me more than popping baloons. My instincts kick in and I just want to take a needle and start a poppin!
 
 
 
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There’s a Pot of Coke at the End of the Rainbow

May 17, 2007 / Posted by:
 
This is what Maxim chose as their hottest woman in the world and they celebrated this decision last night in NYC. Lindsay Lohan is either celebrating gay pride or decided to go as a slutty Rainbow Brite.
 
She later changed into a blue glitter number and posed like a true cokehead with Calum Best.
 
Oh Lindsay! Dip yourself in Oxyclean, lose the blonde and get yourself together. Somewhere Mariah Carey is sketching these dresses. You know she wants that rainbow one in every color.
 
 
 
 
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