Cameron Diaz is Popular

May 10, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Cameron Diaz told Meredith Viera what I've been saying all along about stupid celebrities! She said, "Life is like high school and celebrities are the popular kids." It's true and I'm still that stupid (but hot) fag sitting in the corner of the cafeteria writing in my journal:
 
"Dear Diary, Cameron's pussy smells so bad. I can smell it from here and she's wearing surf pants. Gross. I hate her, but her boyfriend is hot. Talk to you later..Michael." 
 
Things haven't changed much! In other greasy-pizza-faced news, she told Meredith that she was operating on 3 hours of sleep. The reason? Cameron was busy watching some sex slime show! A source said, "The show had two topless girls rubbing slime on each other and wrestling, followed by a simulated 'sex show' conducted behind a silk screen. Cameron was staring the whole time."
 
What a lesbo. Dumbass probably didn't realize it was slime and thought the girls were just naturally greasy. I'm sure this made her felt safe and loved, because she realized she wasn't the only greasy human lizard in this world. 
 
Source: Female First
 
 
 

Johnny Depp Might Be Marrying This

May 10, 2007 / Posted by:
 
The myserious illness of Johnny Depp's 7-year-old daughter inspired him to propose to the baby mama, Vanessa Paradis. Johnny and Vanessa's daughter, Lily-Rose, was in the hospital last month after contracting E.coli shutting down her kidneys. Lily is fully recovered and ready to take part in her parent's wedding.
 
The couple have been together for 8 years and are looking to make it legal in the French village of Plan de la Tour this Summer.
 
Johnny needs to hand over that AMEX and make Vanessa get those bottle openers fixed first. While she's doing that she might as well drag Amy Winehouse along too. 
 
That being said, I think this is my favorite Hollywood couple. They hate the drama which is boring for us, but good for them. 
 
Source: Starpulse – Image: SplashNewsOnline
 

No Sex for Eva

May 10, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Eva LongWHORIA is currently in Paris making arrangements for her upcoming wedding to Tony Parker. He's like French or something that's why they are getting hitched in France. They will wed on July 7th and Eva has ordered a no-sex rule until they are legal.
 
She said, "Luckily, we're getting married after the play-offs and then we need to consummate the marriage. I scheduled it that way." Consummate? Who the hell uses that word anymore.
 
Upon hearing this news Tony said, "PHEW!!!! Can we keep that rule even after we're married?" 
 
 
Source: EL – Images: SplashNewsOnline
 
 
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Bijou Phillips Hates Czechs

May 10, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Piece of trash, Bijou Phillips, filmed Hostel 2 in the Czech Republic and apparently didn't fall in love with the people.
 
She boldly said, "The people in the Czech Republic are fucking assholes. Every person from every country that has gone to the Czech Republic thinks the people there are assholes."
 
Whoah. She's talked to every person from every country? Busy, busy…Phillips…
 
Methinks this didn't stop the bitch from letting the dudes of the Czech Republic from running a train on her ass.
 
Source: Starpulse
 
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Blake Lives Another Day!

May 10, 2007 / Posted by:
 
Not surprisingly, LaKiki was voted out of "American Idol" after she found herself in the bottom with Blake. Even though Blake sucked balls he wasn't voted out. That leaves Melinda DoLots and Jordin joining Blake in the Final 3 which means this crap is almost over! 
 
Last night, Ryan Gaycrest also announced a new spin-off show called "The Great American Band Search." It's basically like Idol, but for bands. Great!! I'm guessing this is going to make the Eurovision Song competition look like a night at the Grammys.
 
I'm still saying Blake's stupid beat-boxing ass is going to take this.
 
Don't worry about LaKiki. She'll probably play Effie White in every single production of Dreamgirls from Topeka to Thailand.
 
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