Marion Cotillard Is Pregnant And Isn’t “Distressed” About The Brad Pitt Rumors
I didn’t think she would, but Marion Cotillard has decided to drop a farté (that’s French for fart, right?) on the rumors that she boned Brad Pitt while shooting Allied and that she’s got a Pitt baby growing in her womb. Marion did confirm in an Instagram post that she’s knocked up, but said that the father of her second baby is her piece of 9 years Guillaume Canet. The Daily Mail said that Marion was “distressed” about the rumor, but she says she really doesn’t give one fuck and left a special note for the “haters.” Yes, today I learned that Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard uses the word “haters” and is serious when she uses it.
As Expected, Chelsea Handler Really Has The Sads Over The End Of Brangelina
Yesterday, my thoughts and prayers were with the president of the West Coast chapter of the Brangeloonies, Chelsea Hander, because I know that Brangelina is her favorite couple in the history of love. Chelsea has said time and time again that Angelina Jolie has a wonderful soul, a kind spirit, is a girl’s girl and she wishes they were best friends. So I just knew that all day yesterday, Chelsea was probably crying out hot vodka tears while she lay in the fetal position on her bathroom floor and punched at the sky as she screamed, “Why, God, why?!” (Side note: I’m jealous of Chelsea’s dog, because I wish I could get drunk for free by licking up her vodka tears.)
I thought that Chelsea would need to take a lengthy sad-bbatical to deal with the break-up of Brangelina, but she somehow pulled her emotions together and was able to shoot an episode of her Netflix show. As her dried and chapped tear ducts quivered (since she already cried out all the liquid in her body), Chelsea gave a heartfelt eulogy for Brangelina. And of course, I mean the opposite of all of that since Chelsea hates St. Angie more than she’d hate getting eaten out by a piranha with an overbite.
Filming Sex A Scene Is A “Turn On” To Hugh Grant
Hugh Grant may look bored as hell in that screen grab from Notting Hill, but trust me on this one, there’s a good chance his dick is very excited.
Open Post: Hosted By Cracked Out Elegance
There’s a chain of restaurants in Los Angeles called Eggslut. They should call up Katie Price and ask her if they can use that gorgeous picture as their logo. Actually, that wouldn’t be a good idea, because if they did, they’d automatically get an F from the health department.
Our modern day Jane Austen has yet another Booker Prize-worthy novel coming out (and yes, I will read it since my brain is addicted to eating fine literature) and she cannot release anything without pimping it out in one of her signature high-budget photocalls. The latest novel that Katie Price definitely wrote every word of is called Reborn and so she went with that theme in the photocall that happened at The Worx Studios in London today. Using a 7-figure budget, the best set builders in Hollywood built Katie Price an elaborate cracked egg and she posed for her life inside of it while wearing a body condom and standing on a Wee Wee pad. This photoshoot is very Anne Geddes for Hustler.
Katie Price’s photocalls of fuckery are what make the world go around. I am so glad that she didn’t lap up the liquid (sweat or water from her hair) on her Spandex skin suit, because the thirstier Katie Price is the better Katie Price is!
Pics: Wenn.com
Christopher Darden And Marcia Clark Were “More Than Friends,” So Says Christopher Darden
Since the year was 1995, I’m going to tell myself that in that picture, Marcia Clark is looking at Christopher Darden as Adina Howard’s Freak Like Me plays in her head.
The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story eluded that there may have been some sexy shit going on between Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden as they worked closely together on the case. There were also rumors during the trials. So the day after American Crime Story won a zillion Emmys, Entertainment Tonight’s Lauren Zima talked to the real Christopher Darden at his home and asked him what would it take for him to admit the whole truth about his relationship with Marcia back then.
Leah Remini And A&E Are Doing Show A About Scientology
Today will not be a good day for the prisoner – err…I mean, “volunteer” – who cleans David Miscavige’s office. After he hears this news, every mirror will be smashed, every throw pillow with L. Ron Hubbard’s face embroidered onto it will be destroyed, every lace-trimmed Valentine from Tom Cruise and John Travolta will be torn-up into a million little pieces, dozens of pairs of lifts will be thrown about the room. They’ve got a real mess ahead of them.