Ali Lohan

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:

She Gives Me A Headache

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
My favorite blogger is at it again! Courtney Love has taken to her MySpace blog yet again to talk about the rumors that she's getting plastic surgery and also the rumors that she weighs 115lbs. At least, I think that's what she's talking about. You can decipher for yourself, but don't strain too hard or your eyeballs will pop out.
I AM NOT getting any plastic surgery, iwas musing aloud with some private thoughts, there is no need for me to have any surgeries other than an medical emergency, i think i lost so much weight so fast that it affected my face , ive put on 10 pounds ( thank you Sprinkles cupcakes wic h i must admit are overrated) bad carbs and every ensure is 250 cALories, drinking 8 a day, tons of antioxidents and good stuff plus carbs GOOD casrbs and its made my cheeks and mouth not so sunken, maybe my goal weight was too much, at 510, i dunno it seemed a very healthy weight according to my dr ande me, drsssssss, ihave about 5 doctors, eveythingf rom my opb gyn to my addiction dr to the best longevity dr in probably the world, etc. this is in now way a response to alleged reports on blogs an dibn tabloids that im "too thin: National Enquirer put me on the cover i was told put me on the cover saying i was 115-! id be in the hsopital at 115! i do what is best for ME- not what people talk about no matter what i do im going to bw wrong fat ugly too much surgery ( when ive actually had hardly any) thesse accusations of things beyond my nose and mouth are simple bullshit, at least i own it, wich noone else does , so maybe i make a bad celebrity- this is not a "blog" that silly passing word, this is a post.
Thanks to Lily Allen for her lovely letter apologising fo rhaving had her My SPace broken into, i wouldnt pick on me if i was Miss Lily, as it wouldnt take TOO much to swat, but weve known each other far too long , like each other far toomuch and if she was gonna say something nasty she ha sthe acerbic wit and intelligence to say something cutting, that would actually really hurt, not some cliched hoary old chestnut some obsessed blogger would say She tells me her My Space was broken into- even if i REALLY think she did blog it mindlessly some 8am after being upfar topo long for a young healthy woman i dont care and oi appreciate and accept her thougfulness for apologising for what was printed, if she is tellingthe truth and it really doesnt much matter- everyone slams everyone early inthier careers, Kim Gordan stillslams me, i mean how much more boring can you get>? () than Kim Gordan – slam!) does anyone care?.
Im friednly wih someone who has a popular gossip site- i thnk hes a very nice guy and hes been nothing but good to me even when he points out spooky shit in pictures- he told me that one of his postys aboput me some crtaqzed blogger spent ALL NIGHT changing names and faking different emmails just to say the same nonsense over and over and over again for hiundreds of posts- he does point out when i make a bad choice( a terriblle shade of lipstick i thought id try, not getting a blowout before going out cos i hate blowouts an dfacials and mani pedis and a,l that grooming shit – ireally despise it,wiuch is not what one daoes when going shopping one should at l;east be aware there will possibly be papparazzi. but o forget or dont care or somewher en between.
There's more, but this is all I could stand. I could barely translate that! Reading Courtney's blog is like having a conversation with someone who is high out of their mind and you're sober. You know the type. They go on and on about how Scrappy Doo from Scrooby Doo really changed their lives and how he's really an insightful and important character in pop culture. Seriously, I had this conversation once with a crackhead.
Image: Splash

When Stupid People Say Stupid Things

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
Somebody hold my jewelry, Kathy Hilton needs a major beating. She told People Magazine that it was so tough for Paris in jail. Why?! Becaus the sheets were scratchy! NO JOKE!
She said it was so hard visiting Paris because she hated "seeing the rashes on her arms and face from the thin sheets." Kathy also said it was hard seeing the guards pull her daughter away from her. Oh please….is that violins I hear?!
Kathy's stupid ass goes on to say that she prepared Paris' bedroom with super soft-sheets for her homecoming and Evian water.
Thin sheets?! Give me a damn break! I hate to break it to Kathy, but I doubt these "rashes" were from thin sheets! You know what they were from!

Is Pamela Dating A Fruitcake?

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
Pamela Anderson and magician Hans Klok were on Craig Kilborn the other night and sort of confirmed they were dating. Pammy is currently starring in Hans Las Vegas magic show. When asked if they were dating,
Pamela said, "There's a lot of love backstage. It's very physical. Very loving."
Hans said, "You call it dating. We call it physical."
Dutch man say what? Maybe this is all lost in translation, because I'm pretty sure Hans is a big ole' 'mo! Dlisted reader Joana sent me this Dutch article where Hans said he was sorry for pretending to be a hetero and that he has a boyfriend of 8 years. I don't know Dutch, but I know homo and that's a big fat one!
Please don't tell me that Hans is wearing powdered lipstick in that picture. Please don't tell me!!!!

To Prosecute Or Not To Prosecute

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
According to TMZ prosecutors in Los Angeles are torn on whether or not to prosecute Brandy for a fatal car accident she caused last December.
A woman was killed when Brandy rear-ended another car on the highway in her Range Rover triggering a multi-car accident. Investigators are trying to find out how fast she was going and if she braked before hitting the car in front of her.
The charge is said to be manslaughter.  
Brandy is already get sued by the woman's family and husband.
I don't know how I feel about this mess. Part of me thinks it was an accident and she should let go. But another part of me thinks why the hell did she rear-end a car in front of her? Maybe she's just a shit driver, but should she go to jail for that?
Now if it was me that caused the accident I'd be getting a train run on me by every dude in whatever jail I was in. Trust that. Celebrities are special.

Afternoon Crumbs

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
Clive Owen kinds of looks like Alice the Goon – Just Jared 
A Suri Cruise upskirt! Hold that shit down Tom! – Popsugar 
Scary Spice is still livin' it up and hopefully on Eddie's dime – Hollywood Tuna 
Celebrity sex swap Cityrag 
Ginger Spice is livin' it up, but without that hot monster trainer – Egotastic! 
Eva Herzigova shows the panty (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather 
Steve O is always stoned – Hollywood Rag 
I can't believe Kim KardASSIAN gets to get with this – Towleroad 
Petra Nemcova is a tease – IDLYITW 
JLo loves her pyschic friends – ASL

Gary Oldman Is A Regular Dr. Ruth

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
Harry Potter said that Gary Oldman gave him a few tips on girls during filming.
The 18-year-old Harry said, "Gary did give me a few really good pieces of advice about girls that I'm definitely going to stick to. One of them was that you've got to find out if they get on with their parents, which is a good rule of thumb.

"I can't repeat the rest. It was a private moment between myself and Gary!"

Gary probably told him that girls really like it when you stick it in the butt. Harry's probably already done that.

Here's our little twinkie on the set of some Nazi movie and no…not the one that Tom's in. Can you imagine? Tom would be like a pig in shit if he did a movie with this little cream puff. 

I am also…so fucking sick of Nazi movies!





David Beckham Speaks!

August 6, 2007 / Posted by:
David Beckham has pissed off a lot of L.A. Galaxy fans that have paid and shown up to watch him play only to find out bitch is still on the bench. Fans have started bringing signs to games saying shit like "Welcome to America Becks Where You Get Paid To Do Nothing." HOT! Fans also booed him last night when he didn't play AGAIN.
He said (in his squeaky voice), "I'd love to be out there on the field, especially with the number of fans here and the fact they've paid a lot of money to see the Galaxy. But I have to be careful with my injury. I'm here for five years and maybe more, so that's where people maybe have to be slightly patient."
I say, shake it off and get the hell out there! You are bought and paid for and better fucking perform! I mean one of the Beckhams should perform! Put Posh in a uniform and get her out there!

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