Hot Slut Of The Day!
Piko-Taro, the ear worm-making chanteuse who delivered Japan’s answer to Gangnam Style!
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve touched an apple bong, but the next time I make one, I’m going to get pre-baked by taking myself up, up and away as I sing the lyrics, “I have a pen. I have an apple. Uh! Apple pen!” Spoon & Tamago says that nipple tingler above, who is giving me “Asian John Waters doing an impersonation of Fred Armisen’s Prince on acid” is Piko-Taro, a character created by Japanese comedian/DJ Kosaka Daimaou. Kosaka plays Piko-Taro during his stand-up act and the character is so popular that he decided to devote a YouTube Channel to the animal print-loving musical genius.
Piko-Tara inaugurated his YouTube channel with PPAP, a little jingle about fruit and pen fuck times. While dressed in pimp pajamas and dancing like Cliff Huxtable (if Cliff Huxtable accidentally roofied himself with uppers instead of downers), Piko-Taro serves up a story about a power top pen fucking an apple and a pineapple. It may be simple, but the lyrics are still a billion times more complex than anything Taylor Swift has written! File this under: Reason #6,900,923,999 for why Japan single-handedly makes the world go ’round with the magical fuckery it produces:
Since Piko-Taro released PPAP last month, it’s gone viral in Japan (and beyond) and has gotten almost 3 million views. 3 million views may seem like a lot, but it should have 20 times that, because teachers should be showing it to their students in school. Learning how to make an apple bong is an important skill that everyone should learn and this gem of foolery is a perfect musical tutorial!
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in!)
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Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men (44)
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Pic: Getty
Open Post: Hosted By The “Will & Grace” Cast Having A Reunion
Apparently the orange pancake makeup got passed around cuz’ damn Donald Trumps. What the hell filter is that – “Circus Peanut?” Debra Messing quit cat-fighting over politics with other celebrities on Twitter for a moment to open up Instagram instead to post this pic of her with her old Will & Grace co-stars.
“Making A Murderer” Steven Avery Got Engaged To A Woman He’s Only Met Once
Apparently Making A Murderer’s Steven Avery didn’t have enough on his plate. With possibly being framed and then convicted for murder, having his nephew Brendon Dassey possibly framed and then convicted for murder, being the subject of a polarizing Netflix documentary, trying to get his conviction reversed, having his former fiancee jump ship and tell the press that he was allegedly a monster who beat her, and then having his most recent fiancee end their engagement this past January. No, that wasn’t enough. He needed more drama. He has reportedly been dating Lynn Hartman for the past eight months. They met in person for the first time last week, according to the Daily Mail, and they’re now engaged.
Lady Gaga Is Pretty Much Confirmed For The Super Bowl 51 Halftime Show
Lady Gaga recently spotted getting bullshit over her Jeep breaking down in the desert and staging a mini-Coachella in response, looks to be locked-in to run the halftime show during Super Bowl 51. I realize the costumes will be as out there as humanly possible. We’ll probably be able to see whatever she wears from space. But please, Stefani, keep the demin panties at home. While enduring watching the epilepsy-taunting vid for Perfect Illusion, I kept thinking I saw gap and it wasn’t the kind we know as “thigh.”
Josh Brolin Got Married
Former champion booze brawler and Ryan Gosling’s fake ass accent-derider Josh Brolin got married to his former assistant yesterday. UsWeekly reports that Babs Streisand’s step-son wed Kathryn Boyd in a romantic ceremony in Cashiers, North Carolina. The guests included Babs and Josh’s dad James Brolin, the newly man-bunned Bradley Cooper, and Jimmy Kimmel’s not-so-secret sidepiece Matt Damon.
Josh and Kathryn began dating in March of 2013, which was only a month after UsWeekly confirmed he and his ex-wife Diane Lane had split. In a related inquiry, does anyone know if Tom Hardy is looking to hire a new assistant? Unfortunately, I got a D in Typing For Business in high school, but I have a host of other talents that don’t require pecking away at a keyboard, if you smell what I’m stepping in.
Josh isn’t just famous for his pretty good Tommy Lee Jones impression in otherwise shitty movies with no reason for existing. He had a notorious tendency to get thwacked and engage in ridiculous (and public) slapfights. He was also arrested for spousal battery in 2004 after ex-wife Diane rang up the police to report that he allegedly hit her. She didn’t file charges and the couple’s spokesperson claimed that it was a misunderstanding and that they were embarrassed the matter went this far.
Josh checked into rehab in November of 2013. The couple were engaged in May of last year. Best of luck, you two.
In other news, it turns out that Josh looks good nekkid if you stand several feet away and he’s sitting in such a way that his thigh is presented in the best possible trailer park light.
Pic: WENN