Hopefully She’s Fixing That Wonk Eye!

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Paris Hilton is too depressed to eat, but apparently not too depressed to see a plastic surgeon. Allegedly, renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Steven Hoeffin  visited her while she was under house arrest. Sources say that he is somewhat the family doctor. What trash! Their family doctor is a skin doctor? Makes sense.
Dr. Hoffein has repotedly done work on Jacko, Joan Rivers, Sly Stallone and Janet Jackson.  All the greats.
It would be sort of bittersweet to see her wonk eye go away. I'd have to relocate my jokes to her hook nose. Knowing Paris it's probably none of that. 

Afternoon Crumbs

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Solving the mystery of misheard lyricsCityrag 
Jessica Alba is a golden goddess – Egotastic! 
Enrique and Anna are still very much together – Hollywood Tuna 
Angelina Jolie is still a freak - IDLYITW 
Kate Moss' Topshop keeps going – Popsugar 
People picks the worst hottest bachelorJust Jared 
Kendra will never forgive Hefner – Hollywood Rag 
Is Antonio Banderas stepping out on Melanie? – Gabsmash 
Kelly Clarkson has broken her manager's heart by dumping his ass – ASL 
Brangelina's nanny tells all – Popbytes

Beating People With Bricks Will Get You Arrested

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Sean Stewart, son or Rod and overall moron, was arrested yesterday on charges that he beat down a man and a woman in the Hollywood Hills two years ago.
TMZ reports that two years ago Sean and some of his friends started throwing bricks at a mailbox and truck at 4am. There were two people inside the truck and they claim Sean started throwing punches and bricks at them.
He was charged with 4 felonies, including two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of vandalism and one count of throwing substance at a vehicle.  He was let go on $60k bail.
Do you think it makes Rod sad that two of his kids are complete low-lifes?! I wonder why it took 2 years to get this dumbass charged. It's also sad that this bitch is 26!!! That being said, I'd hit it. I'm joooking!!!

Jennifer Aniston Overload

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
For some reason there's an explosion of Jennifer Aniston news. It's sort of gross, but let's go over it:
UsWeekly reports that Jennifer Aniston's man is a former cokehead and her friends are wary of him. Paul Sculfor admits he had a wild past, but did time in rehab and all is good now. Sources also say that Paul told friends "he was going to find 'a rich, lonely girl."
I say: Cokehead or not, he's a hot piece of man and she's getting her. It's not like she's going to marry him. Fuck an ALLEGED cokehead, but just don't marry them.  
The Hollywood reports that Jennifer Aniston will produce and possibly star in a musical. The film is called "Goree Girls" and is based on a true story about a group of eight women serving time in Texas' Goree Prison during the 1940s who formed one of the first all-female country western acts in the country and captured the hearts of millions of fans in the process.
I say: Aniston singing?! HELL NO! Start the dubbing now!
The Daily Mail reports that Aniston is looking to buy a baby. Sources say she's already started the paperwork with an adoption agency.  
I say: Don't let Angie find out or Jen can kiss her adoption dreams goodbye. The Queen of Adoption will make sure it doesn't happen! I doubt it's true. Jen strikes me as a bio-only kind of gal.

I’m Going To Choose To Not Believe Her

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Shar Jackson has told UsWeekly she's not knocked up with KFed's baby or anybody else's. Shar's rep (she has one?) said, "It is not even remotely true."
It was reported this morning that Shar was with child after she had a night of passionate sex with KFed. This would've been their 3rd child together and his 5th (that he knows of) total.
I'm going to choose not to believe her. Shar is lying and I still want to see the look on Britney's face. Shar probably planted this story in the tabs, so she could deny it which means she's knocked up.

Gay Skunk

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Douche hair alert! This is Nicole Richie and Joel Madden arriving at a salon yesterday. I really hope they fixed his shit. He's the gayest skunk I've ever seen. Pepe Le Pew wouldn't even tap that!

Morning Wood

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
I don't know what's on Hilary Duff's foot, but it's fug! – Mollygood 
Aniston's Smart Water ads are a joke – Derek Hail  
Now Jennifer Garner is knocked up?!? – INO 
The Real World's Frankie passes away :(ICYDK 
Jennie Garth joins Dancing with the Stars – SOW 
McConagay asks chicks on his movie set to go topless – Backseat Cuddler 

Not Bad For 40

June 13, 2007 / Posted by:
Pamela Anderson doesn't turn 40 until July 1st, but she got the party started early yesterday in Ft. Lauderdale at Sublime. Peta through her a joint-party with their President Ingrid Newkirk (below).
Pam said, "I have no problem with being 40. I think 40 is the new 20.'' 
Pam doesn't look that bad for 40. Overall, she looks hot…I just wish she'd clean up a bit. She still looks sort of used and have we figured out what those bruises are?! Homegirl is always rocking bruises. Wait, I think I just figured it out. Is that where her tat used to be? 
Source: The Sun

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