I Never Put In My Two Cents

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

While Dlisted was at Promises in Malibu cutting itself with Britney Spears, there were rumors that Gisele Buttchin is knocked up with Tom Brady’s baby. Tom already is expecting a brat with Bridget Moynahan even though the two are splitsville.

Glamurama reports that she’s knocked up. The two were seen all over Paris recently. They have been dating since Christmas.

Please, Tom probably made-up this story so it looks like he has super sperm. That being said he can really put his manpower to the test and try and get me knocked up. It won’t take long since I probably have ovaries.

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Beginning of Night and End of Night

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Sienna Miller started out last night looking lovely at a Calvin Klein fragrance party in NYC. She actually looked like she doesn’t smell like what comes out of my dog’s anal sacs. However, by the end of the night she looked used while watching her boyfriend’s band play. Used in a hot way. I’m beginning to like this drunk slut. Endearing. Lovely.

Furthermore, why do chicks want to get with Jamie Burke? He bags Lohan, Kate Moss and now Sienna. Is his dick an Oscar statue or something?

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She Uses That Sling For Other Things

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Today’s “The View” was all about depression since Rosie O’Donnell claims she has it. Who doesn’t? Anyway, she showed us how she battles it. She hangs her fat ass for 30-minutes in some kind of S&M sling. You know her partner Kelly puts her face all up in there and goes to town. She gets out a fork and shit. Ick.

Bravo to ABC for getting those steels beams fitted with kryptonite before letting Rosie hang or else that entire building would be a pile of rubble now.

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Cartoon Effing!

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Disney is pissed off after hot comics featuring Keira Knightley in her Pirates of the Caribbean hit the internet. Sinful Comics depicts Keira getting nailed by Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and that weird octopus man. Disney is considering taking the publishers to court.

I’m surprised Disney just doesn’t put a hit out of them. They are like the mafia. Personally, I don’t get off on cartoon loving…but they made Keira look way hotter than she really is. We know Orlando isn’t sporting that big of a wood. He has an “innie” and I’m not talking about his belly button. I don’t know what that means, but just pretend it’s witty.

Click here to see the NSFW cartoons! Don’t try and unload cartoon cream, it’s a bitch to clean up!

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Afternoon Crumbs

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Tori Spelling’s baby is going to be hotter than I thought – Cityrag

Is Portia relapsing? – Popbytes

Marky Mark can shoot me anytime…wait that wasn’t smart – Hollywood Rag

Eddie Furlong is a hot piece of bacon – Mollygood

We know she’s pregnant, but Salma Hayek can at least comb the mop – Popsugar

Lindsay Lohan somehow makes her short legs look long – Egotastic!

Spanish Springer - College Humor

Hilary Swank actually looks hot here – Just Jared

James Brown is STILL not buried – ASL

Penny Cruz is boarding the mothership – IDLYITW

Xtina is still Hollywood’s hottest fake blonde – Hollywood Tuna

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Don’t Forget to Smell It

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Fat Elvis aka Brandon Davis is being sued for apparently for ripping off a casino in the Bahamas during a weekend in January. TMZ reports that he owes Atlantis resort $75,000 after a check he wrote for gambling funds BOUNCED! The casino wants their cash back plus $270 to cover the returned check fee.

Broke ass bitch! Hahahaha…perhaps he can ask Paris for it, but methinks that dumb slut is broke too.

If you’re not eating lunch yet, I’m sure the picture above will help your appetite. Chili cheese fries for lunch it is!

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The “Who Cares?” News

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Joe Simpson says no rehab for his girls…they just probably need a little shot of the love juice from papa to get cured…ugh – SOW

Jennifer Garner wants another kid…let’s hope it’s cuter than her current one – ICYDK

Borat is totally selling out by going on American Idol! – INO

Antonella Barface gets an offer to be Joe Francis’ next jack off tape - Derek Hail

The pants for your gay boyfriendBWE

Here cums Kim Kardashian’s sex tape – Celebitchy

JHud is a damn idiot for turning down 3 million – CL

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Batman’s New Love Interest is SICK!

March 9, 2007 / Posted by:

Maggie Gyllenhaal has been officially confirmed as Katie Holmes replacement in The Dark Knight. Maggie will play Rachel Dawes, the same role Katie played in Batman Begins. Katie backed out of the project, because she’s brainwashed.

Shooting will begin late Spring and will star Christian Bale as Batman, Heath Ledger as The Joker, Aaron Eckhart as Two-Face along with Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman. The film is expected to be released in July 2008.

Did Rachel Dawes suddenly get downs? Ugh, Maggie cannot play anyone’s love interest..not even to a toilet pipe! She’s just a brunette Kiki Dunst…fugly, gummy and slow!

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