Fantasia’s Overdose Was Not An Accident

August 23, 2010 / Posted by:

This is why Andrea Zuckerman’s crisis hotline should still be in business today. On Fantasia’s Behind the Music which airs on Vh1 tomorrow night, she admits that when she swallowed an entire bottle of pills two weeks ago she did it because she wanted to get a visit from the grim reaper (Yes, I’ve been playing The Sims again).

With the threat of getting sued by her boyfriend’s estranged wife for committing acts of homewreckery hanging over her, Fanny said she just couldn’t deal anymore. Fanny tells Vh1, “I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out. At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that shit. I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills. I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their shit – I was tired. My head was hurting me. I was over it.

Fanny’s manager knew she was in a bad place, so he texted her and told her not to do anything stupid. Fanny’s “text for help” came 10 minutes after that when she wrote him, “I already have.”

Fanny says that her hospital nurse helped bring her back into reality and now she’s living for her daughter, “I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.”

People’s article also mentions that Fantasia’s new album comes out tomorrow. Damn. Well, I guess this is one way of promoting an album….

“The Empress Of Flip Flops” Just Doesn’t Have The Same Ring To It

August 23, 2010 / Posted by:

New York is wetter than a Twihard’s panties on Edward Cullen’s fake born day, and it’s obviously due to the fact that the gloriously beautiful Empress of Lucite defied all laws of natures by wearing FLIP FLOPS in Miami this past weekend!!! And not even elegant platform flip flops! Just basic flip flop farted out of the dry asshole of any Big Lots!

This is a sight that makes my eyes (and everything) sore! Actually, my everything was already sore, but let’s not tip toe into that topic when there’s more important news to deal with!

When Shauna Sand doesn’t wear her exquisite lucite stilts to heaven, the angels up above don’t have a clear view of her stunning “sculpted by Michelangelo from a block of silicone” face. Because of this, the angels have begun their “We Weep For Lucite” world tour. So you better channel your inner Mike Holmes and start working on your floating shack, because the angels are not going to stop.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For August 20th!

August 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Freddy Krueger finally retires from Elm St. and lives his dream of starring in Cats. – jerseygirl17

Runners-up:

Things you can still count on 40 years from now:
Madonna doing anything for attention – moistiest

Meet Hello Kitty’s arch nemesis: Goodbye Bitch. – OurMissC

At Comic Con 2030, Chicken Cutlets was seen in costume, lobbying for a role she will never get in the upcoming live-action adaptation of Underdog. – howdareyou

via PIU (Thanks Benjamin)

Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Mimi Rosenthal, the 101-year-old bad ass memawmaw who just got her third tattoo!

When somebody gets a tattoo, there’s always some bitch who has to say shit like, “Oh, imagine what that’s going to look like when you’re a wrinkly stick of old.” Well, bitches can’t say shit to Mimi Rosenthal! When Mimi was just the young age of 99, she scratched her itch for ink by getting a tiny butterfly tattoo on her ankle (when she stretches her skin out, it turns into a caterpillar). And this past weekend in Spring Hill, FL, Mimi got a small sunflower tattooed on her arm.

Michelle Gallo-Kohlas, the artiste who has done all of Mimi’s tattoo, says that because Mimi’s skin is as fragile as a whisper dancing on a piece of tissue paper, working on her takes longer than usual. Michelle said, “Her skin is so fragile, it’s like uncharted territory.”

And Mimi isn’t done yet! Mimi to The St. Petersburg Times, “Next time I’m getting it on my butt.” Mimi’s not joking and her butt tattoo better read: “Not the one.

via Fark

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Birthday Sluts

August 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Rick Springfield (61)
Nicole Bobek (32)
Kobe Bryant (32)
Julian Casablancas (32)
Scott Caan (34)
Shifty Shellshock (36)
Ray Park (36)
Bone Crusher (39)
Jay Mohr (40)
Wendy Pepper (46)
Charles Busch (56)
Queen Noor (59)
Shelley Long (61)
Barbara Eden (76)
Vera Miles (81)
Marian Seldes (82)

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Sylvester Stallone’s Jerky-fied Nipples Top The Weekend Box Office

August 22, 2010 / Posted by:

Jizz is normally a major selling point when choosing which movie to see, but apparently not in this case. People would rather spend time with Bow Wow, oven roasted torsos and peen-eating piranhas than Jason Bateman’s sneaky man chowder. According to Box Office Mojo, The Switch (aka Friends: The One Where Rachel Green Romances A Turkey Baster) opened at #8 this weekend with $8.1 million. Jennifer Aniston better bury her Blackberry deep inside her stuffed Garfield collection, because Maddox’s HAHAHA text bomb campaign is going to begin any minute now.

This is the estimated top ten movies at the box office this weekend from Box Office Mojo.

1. The Expendables, $16.5 million ($5,046 per screen)
2. Vampires Suck, $12.2 million ($3,774 per screen)
3. Eat Pray Love, $12 million ($3,082 per screen)
4. Lottery Ticket, $11.1 million ($5,639 per screen)
5. The Other Guys, $10.1 million ($2,909 per screen)
6. Piranha 3D, 10 million ($4,063 per screen)
7. Nanny McPhee Returns, $8.3 million ($2,985 per screen)
8. The Switch, $8.1 million ($4,026 per screen)
9. Inception, $7.7 million ($3,188 per screen)
10. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, $5 million ($1,785 per screen)

As much as I would love to ask for one ticket to the movie that has the most sperm in it, my ass is going to go see the movie about the hongray piranha that chomps on dick for fun. No, not Salt! The other one!

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