Not Renewing Their Contract

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:
You mean to tell me that we didn't get one good picture of Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon together before they split?! Maybe, it was real. Nooo….they are just trying to make it look authentic.
A friend of Reese's said, “She has either called it off or is just taking a break."

"She cares for Jake, but the timing is crappy. She doesn’t have enough emotional space for him right now.”

Emotional space = A cock

Source: Us Weekly


Waste Of Money

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:
For some reason everyone's trying to get Paris Hilton's first post-jail interview. It was assumed that Barbara Walters would nab the interview of the moment, but it looks like money talks. Sources say that NBC's Today Show will pay Paris 1 million clams to sit down with Meredith Vieira.
ABC and Babs were the frontrunner, but then NBC's head bitch called up Rick Hilton and dropped the dollar amount. The Hiltons being the money whores they are, of course took the bait. Paris would only agree to sit with Meredith, because she doesn't appreciate Matt Lauer's comments about her.
1 million to speak with that skank?!
Meredith and NBC should venture into the pastures, find Ferdinand , give him a little snack, wait a few minutes, open their hands under his ass and out will come the basic equivalent of what's going to come out of Paris' mouth. They would save themselves a lot of cash while keeping better company.
Source: Page Six

The Song Of The Summer (In The Beckham House)

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:
Posh and Nas have hooked up for a track they call "Full Stop." Posh hasn't had a very successful solo career in the past. I don't think her solo albums even made it to the US and really didn't catch on in the UK. So, looks like she's trying again.
I can't say I blame her. It must get boring spending your husband's money all day and going to lunch, but only ordering a Diet Coke. That stuff gets really boring, so you have to flex your creative muscles.
First of all, her part is so overdone. You can hardly tell it's her ass! Posh shouldn't quit her day job of shopping and posing. The music business just isn't for her.
Click here to listen to "Full Stop." You have my permission to click "stop" after the first 10 seconds.
Thanks Shirley

Oh, It’s JLo!!

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:
JLo pulled out her favorite robe and popped out that "open mouth" pose at the launch of Lorraine Schwartz's "Monkey" collection last night at Monkey Bar in NYC. Thankfully, Skeletor was nowhere to be seen. He was probably in Bulgaria feasting on the blood of a virgin.  
I'm not understanding that hair creation, but I don't think I'm supposed to.  

Tiffany Claus IS Angelina Jolie…..Or Something

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:

Meet Tiffany Claus, she’s an Angelina Jolie look-a-like and she’s part of a new documentary TV show called “Clones.” Tiffany lives in some nothing town and makes a living off of being a low-rent Angie.

First of all, this show looks really hot. Second of all, Tiffany sort of looks like Angie if I squint my eyes and maybe have a shot or two of Peach Schnapps.

She could definitely play Angie in a porn movie.

Thanks Tanja


Kelly Talks Barf

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:
Kelly Clarkson is promoting an album right now so what better time is there to talk eating disorders? Kelly has revealed that back in high school she caught a little of the bulimia when she was turned down for a part in the school play.
She said, "I thought…If I came back and I'm cuter and thinner…then I'll get the role. One of my guy friends caught on to it, and I just felt so ashamed and embarassed. "I literally went cold turkey and snapped out of it." 
She said that it was a one-time deal and now she's fine with her body and loves it. She said, "I've got a butt, I'm Greek- I can't help that. And I think it's good for people to see normal."
Greek butt? Is that like a Japanese armpit? WTF is a Greek butt? I'm glad Kelly has said goodbye to the barf. It gives you terrible bref and rots your teefs. No, I am not speaking from experience! 
Source: US Weekly
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Britney Is Still A Brat

June 21, 2007 / Posted by:
Britney Spears was on a photoshoot for a new shitty perfume she's whoring out when she suddenly decided to leave. Souces say she gave no explanation, she just got huffy and left.
The witness said, "There was a shoot last week in L.A. for a new perfume she's coming out with and something happened. She got very upset and stormed out of the shoot and wouldn't come back. She is not listening to anyone and doing exactly what she wants. But sometimes she doesn't know best."
She probably had to poo poo. Yeah, runny poo poo.
Above is Brit again yesterday looking gorgeous and stained. She really needs to have that leaky vagina looked at.
Source: Page Six

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