And Just Like That, I Now Have A Furry Fetish

October 14, 2010 / Posted by:

You know that old timey fable about the woof (it’s so much better without the “l”) who viciously murders a sheep and then pulls a Buffalo Bill by making a body suit out of the sheep’s dead body so that he can easily slip into the “sheep world” to feast on all of their organs? This picture of Mah Boo Anderson Cooper in a bunny suit is totally like that story.

I mean, a silver fox putting on a bunny suit? I see you, Mah Boo. You’re just trying to eat some bunny ass. I’ll play along. As soon as I hit publish on this mess, I’m going to hot glue a bunny ear to each of my ass cheeks (I have no sensation down there anymore, so it won’t hurt), and stand in front of the CNN studios with my ass sticking out.

If one of you bitches sticks a baby carrot between my bunny ears, I’ll never talk to you again! Use a regular-sized carrot instead!

Anyways, Little Bunny Coop Coop posted this picture on his Twitter with the little note:

From ac: in IA for story on ape communication. The apes asked me to dress as a rabbit. Weird, huh?

Wait, the apes asked him to do this?! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! Get me a Teresa Giudice mask, find out how to say “Take off your clothes and wiggle” in Kokonese and then launch me into the ape den NOW!

(Thanks to everyone who sent this to me a million times!!!! Easter has come early and so has…….I’ll stop. )

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For October 13th!

October 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Demi Moore found a way to cure her MeeMaw hip-cracking while “dancing”. – Vern

Runners-up:

Now Lindsay, the ankle bracelet didn’t work so let’s just call this a measure in ‘protecting our future’ – cs182

Home Depot ended up regretting their sponsorship of the 2011 Miley Cyrus World Tour. – robrr1118

Jessica dreams all the time of the day she’ll get married (again) and be able to cut off the GPS tracking device Papa Joe keeps on her. – KD

(Thanks Katey)

Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 14, 2010 / Posted by:

One of my friends asked me on iChat yesterday if I was glued to the human saga we’ll call “Down and Out in Chile” (Bette Midler not included) like a Central Park West marathon and I replied with a, “Too busy watching Ma’s Roadhouse on repeat.” To which my friend pulled this shit out, “How can you deny this? It’s like Baby Jessica times 33! And in Chile, which means it’s way more dramatic!” THE CHILEAN BABY JESSICAS?! Close window. Block username. Force quit.

After I shut my iChat on her face, I thought about what she said and realized that she’s right. She’s especially right because of this semi-ESCANDALO story about our newest addition to the Hot Slut (literally) family Yonni Barrios and his passing the peen ways catching up to him while he was trapped in the underground city of shirtless dudes.

In case you haven’t already clutched your plastic rosary to this mess, Yonni’s wife and mistress found out about each other a couple of weeks ago when they both showed up to a prayer vigil at the site. The SANTO DIOSes shooting out of both of their mouths could be felt all the way down in the rock village below. This most likely caused Yonni to consider staying down there forever and marrying a lovely rock. It also caused everybody else to wonder if the wife and/or the mistress would show up on rescue day.

Well, only the side piece showed up and she welcomed Yonni with a kiss to the face instead of a punch to the dick. The wife stayed home, where she was probably torching all of Yonni’s shit on the front lawn ala Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale.

Here’s the clip of Yonni reuniting with his jump off. Keep that helmet on for a while, Yonni:

When the USA Network eventually makes an original movie about the Chilean miners, Yonni’s love triangle will be a pivotal plot. Erik Estrada and Lupe Ontiveros better call their agents NOW!

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Birthday Sluts

October 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Roger Moore (83)
Lourdes Maria Ciccone Leon (14)
Mia Wasikowska (21)
Ben Wishaw (30)
Stacy Keibler (31)
Usher (32)
Natalie Maines (36)
Jon Seda (40)
Steve Coogan (45)
Karyn White (45)
Lori Petty (47)
Isaac Mizrahi (49)
Thomas Dolby (52)
Greg Evigan (57)
Harry Anderson (58)
Justin Hayward (64)
Udo Kier (66)
Cliff Richard (70)
Ralph Lauren (71)
Melba Montgomery (72)

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AC Slater And Child

October 13, 2010 / Posted by:

The minute baby Gia Francesa fell out of her mother’s chocha into the doctor’s hands, Mario Lopez leaped and pivoted to the nearest gym to makes his glutes glutier, his biceps bicepier and six-pack six-packier. A new baby means a spread in OK! Magazine, which means a camera lens will be involved, which means that it’s the perfect time for Mario Lopez to flex the six-pack on his nipples (Seriously, if you bring a microscope up to that shit you will see a six-pack on his nipples. Bitch probably bench presses with his nips).

You can’t tell because her eyes are shut, but adorable baby Jon Gosselina is totally rolling her newborn eyeballs at daddy. And she’ll keep rolling for the rest of her days, because even fetuses wear shirts more often than her dad does.

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